My killer tree

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Rektbaka, Aug 7, 2010.

  1. Well i have a problem and my tree is hungry and very picky, (that priss a**), and i need some help feedin it the doritos i have. Its a killer so i need a large group to help, sign up with a short background and specialty.
     
  2. Regarding the tree, how many has it previously killed? Not sure I want to approach it without a chainsaw at the ready. And how do you know it likes Doritos?
     
  3. WHAT DOESNT LIKE DORITOS!!!
     
  4. al Qaeda doesnt
     
  5. Hmmm good question
     
  6. Ok u hold it while I smack it with my oversized 
     
  7. Its too powrful bast
     
  8. I'm not sure what Bastion is attempting to subdue the tree with, but has he applied for the poolboy job yet? Looks like he might be qualified. Yumm
     
  9. Ok upon closer viewing it appears to be an eggplant. Bastian can still apply for the job though he will have strong competition
     
  10. And ive tried bast and mine is bigger... It doesnt work, it just wont eat the doritos yet it says its hungry
     
  11. Lets count how many hands it takes to grip my 

    
     
  12. Okay new plan

    Hold it's mouth open while I shove me d*** down it's throat and choke it to death
     
  13. That might work bast im preaty sure my tree doesnt like 
     
  14. I believe that drew Carey may have a point and the tree may in fact be a member of al Qaeda. In which case, the tree need not apply for poolboy job. All others are welcome. Leave measurements and other details at my wall.
     
  15. WELL PLZ COME UP WITH A PLAN BY MORNIN I NEED TO GET MY TREE UNDER CONTROL WITH OUT SUFOCATING IT... bast... Good idea tho
     
  16. *walks in walks out*
     
  17. Perhaps the tree would respond better if you left it alone for a couple of hours so it would be less angry. Then approach it slowly. Speak softly. Move in close and give it a gentle stroke. Take your time with the tree. Perhaps a nice Lionel Ritchie song would set the right mood?
     
  18. how bout we take the batteries out?
     
  19. Let's feed it tacos
     
  20. Tacos might make it better but the tree is asian