Ok so this was my first ever attempt at something so complex as poetry... i only ask you review it and hopefully provide constructive criticism. Thank you before hand Here goes nothing. MY CONFESSION I thought the change would mean it never came back but still it comes forth till my eyes run black. Ive tried and no matter the sky wether it is bright or grey oh how I have tried nothing can keep these nightmares away. This thing insde haunts me forever its taking hold of my sanity no longer "whatever". Im scared to talk people will think I'm crazy or even worse , an attenton seeker but this I promise , i swear i am neither. Its just me and this shadow I fear even as I write it is so ver near. Yes here it is here it comes nothing will stop it not fire not guns. Time to lock myself away let my speakers blank out the sound as i lay here choking and screaming on the ground. Yes this what you read is my hardest confession as I am tortured in the claws of a dark depression.
It's a very good poem, and I like your topic. My only problem was that sometimes it rhymes, sometimes is doesn't.
Thankyou , i thought id made every second and fourth line rhyme n every stanza D: can you point out the problem? THX! Thankyou all for the comments
The one stanza that starts with 'im scared to talk...' doesn't seem to rhyme, but other than that, it's really good.