So I am writing a book and I need ur help: do I continue it or do I forget it. It was the night that we had been waiting for for many years. Tonight we would make out get away from this horrible prison cell. Luke, our handy man walked over to the corner where I was sitting. Something had been troubling me for the past week or so. I was worried what would happen if we were caught. Would the send us to the Ragrina, a arena that is home of the most evil and blood thirsty demons ever. Luke said in a very serous tone "it's time" I sighed and asked him "is the group here?" "Well sorta." he replied "What do u meen sorta?" "Elizabeth, she was caught picking up the extra dynamite from the truck." "Were is she?" "I believe She is gonna be in the " Luke said in a very sad tone Over the time we have been here he and fallen in love with her "Send alyssa over here I need to talk her." "Yes " 5 minutes pass before Alyssa shows up In that 5 minutes I heard a very weird howl, it sounded like the howl of Satins Son, Morgoth. I knew at that moment that Elizabeth, the amazing fighter she was, was in grave danger. Alyssa, " Yes Zoren what do you need?" "GATHER EVERYONE, LIZ IS FIGHTING MORGOTH!!" "Yes Zoren , right away sir" "And Alyssa... Get me my Fission blades, if we have any chance we will need blades the can split up in all places and can form all forms. Hey plus the look cool with there blue glow." "Yes Zoren." A smirk crossing her face. Minutes later we are prepared to break out and free Liz from the Ragrina. "Luke,I said sharply," get the dynamite. "Yes sir" "Luther, the blades" "Zoren?" Alyssa asked hesitantly "Yes Alyssa?" "How do you plan to save liz?" A smile widening on my face "were getting into the Ragrina" We blew open the prison cell and were caught right away. With one quick motion I throw my blade and shards fly out and stab all the guards, then the return to my blade. Let's go. I said for I knew we had no time to waste. I hear the announcer yell "The main fight should begin in 15 minutes with This prisoner vs Morgoth!!!" ( the crowd cheered) We dash away with lightning speed We break into Ragrina and get captured by guards Well well well the announcer said we have 4 saviors coming to help but that wont happen. Guards take them away Not so fast I say, at that moment a shard flys out and hit the announcer in the shoulder. The anouncer shouted "BAHHHH! YOU SHALL HAVE JUSTICE BESTOWED APON YOU AND YOU WILL FEEL MY WRAITH. GUARDS TAKE THEM AWAY!" They took us away and we broke free and excaped. We all vowed that day, well everyone but Luther, that we would avange Liz no matter what. Luther said snottily "So Zoren what next, your our leader you got us in to this and I say you get us out." Luke turns around "Well Luther at least Zoren has the guts to save his friends unlike you." Luther,"I don't think you wanna go there Luke." I stick my blades in front of Luther. "but I do. All you have ever been is a jerk so I dont think that you can follow with us anymore." "No I won't leave" he said sounding offended. "I could kill you if you prefer." I responded harshly.And with that he set off. It was getting dark so we set camp, well more like chose a meadow to sleep in. In the morning we set off again. We had no clue where we were going but we new we needed to find a place to stay and build a army. We were all ready some of the best fighters in the land but we couldn't fight armies of guards and army's of demons by ourselves."We have been walking for 7 hours can't we stop to get a drink?" Alyssa asked "We can take a break very soon."I replied . In another 15 minutes we arrived in a meadow right by a lake and berries. "Here we can rest." Every one sits down and goes to bed after a good drink. In the middle of the night I am woke up to a scream. Sounded like a screen of a middle aged girl. I jump up and grab my fission blades and dash to where I heard the scream. Once there I see this beautiful girl with golden brown hair, her eyes were a sea blue and the sparkled like stars. She was getting arrested. I charge up and attack the guards but when I try to him them I am repelled, what could be causing that? They looked at me and they had no face it was only a black hole. I had seen these creatures before in the Ragrina. The only was to kill them is to love them. So I stood there and found a little love somewhere in my heart. They just seemed to melt. After I defeated them the girl ran and jumped into my arms. She had soft skin and her warmth was like a blanket that just engulfs you. I let out a small "uff" and then she let's go. "Thank you for killing those things I don't no how I would of pulled it off."she said "Why were you being arrested?" "I...dont know they just came at me" she replied. I see, would you like to join us in our journey? " Well..." She sounded shy. "I would love to! But I can't I have a message to deliver to my master." "Well suit your self." She turn and started to leave then hesitated and said "We will meet again." And with that she speed off In to the forest. I went back to bed and lay awake restless. By morning we were gathering our things when Alyssa asked" Why don't we just stay here to practice our skills Zoren?"I sighed and told them about my encounter and told them that since we were seen we must leave. So we set off again.
And here is the other part As Liz was waiting to enter the Ragrina she thought to herself, ^Damn! Damn, damn, damn!^ She sat down. ^I have to fight Morgoth!^ she thought. ^Damn!^ Two guards walk up to Liz and one says, "It's time." Liz stands and walks towards the Ragrina escorted by the guards. When they reach the large prison like doors, they stop, and the guards leave. Liz waits She looks at the crowd. Silence......Then, a deep rumbling noise rises from underground. In the center of the Ragrina, Morgoth jumps from the underworld. His large, horned, scarred figure stands still. Waiting. The son of Lucifer yells out to Liz, "Elizabeth! Come face your punisment!" The giant prison doors on front of Liz open slowly. Liz walks out of the darkness staring at Morgoth intently. "I am here Morgoth! Do what you want with me but I warn you I am a worthy oppent." "Hahaha, I have faced many who have claimed to be worthy but I have vanquished them all." Morgoth replied harshly. Liz thought to herself "Well fear doesn't work, but I gotta remember not to show the fear inside me." "Well Morgoth I am different." She shouted. The announcer yelled " OK PRISONER PICK YOUR WEPION." I walked over to the wepion rack and saw a dagger that almost glowed and looked amazingly sharp and easy to handle. I picked it up and it had a note hanging of on it and it said " The blade will guide you, Z." "Zoren." she whispered. She was feeling around and felt 2 buttons she pressed one and off the handle a cover covered the blade and it grew and the the cover vanished. She gasped and pressed other and the cover reappeared and then the blade shrank to it regular small size. She walked back to where she stood before and swung Them freely it her hand. The announcer yelled again "HAHAHA DAGGERS HAHAHA WELL NO MATTER LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!"
It sounds good, but there are a few spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. For example, outside events like "the crowd cheered" shouldn't be in parentheses, but as their own sentences (or paragraphs) Other than that, I have no negative comments.
Yeah the plot sounds good, and you are a good writer. Just a couple of tips though: •make a feedback thread •if you're not sure on a word, just get a dictionary, or type it in on google! It will come up with the right spelling. •if you want to use a wider range of connectives or words, just get a thesaurus or go on thesaurus.com! •basically, at the end, just read back through your work. Check for any grammatical/spelling errors, and correct them. They're my helpful hints! And keep writing it, it has the potential to be a great book!