My Book!! Chapters 1 and 2

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by whipped_cream, Nov 20, 2014.

  1. Hey guys!

    Not sure of any of you remember, but I made a thread about the book I'm working on a while ago.

    Anyways, I just wanted to post the first two (ROUGH) chapters. I plan on going through them and fixing grammar and sentence structure and other general problems.

    So please enjoy and comment on if you like it and if you would ever want to see future threads with fully completed chapters. (The plan currently is 40 chapters)

    (P.S. - it's kinda long :p )


    A current summary of the Five Kingdoms and the history of the Realm for the Unlearned (Must be inserted into every published item by order of the King)

    Signed,
    Lord Weirn

    THE REALM
    (This text is to be inserted into every published item of the Realm for the unlearned)


    ​The realm is composed of all the Empires, Lands, and Islands combined. The Realm used to be one empire strong with unity. Men, however, lusted for power. Long ago, 5 lords rebelled against the king of the Realm and took his life. They split the land amongst themselves. Kratos would receive Scraesh, Tylendal would receive Valtose, Pravkos would receive Mortec, Yyllindel would receive Mearchet Isle, and Adomist would receive Regail. These five lands, however, were small in comparison to the Realm as a whole. The five Kingdoms composed many expeditions into unknown territories but few expeditions ever returned. However, soon a party from Yyllindel’s Mearchet Isle returned from an unknown land with interesting news. Many dark things resided outside their domain that could risk their empires. After much debate, the Treaty of the Realm was created. It written down that no Empire could travel outside of the kingdoms they have formed. The five Lands, Valtose, Mearchet, Mortec, Regail, and Scraesh, would become the Realm and anything outside of these kingdoms would be considered The Shadow for many dark beings lived there. The kingdoms lived in harmony for many years. Soon, however, Kratos made a claim that The Realm could use The Shadows to their advantage. He proposed that the dark spirits that lived there could be used for a special purpose. Perhaps even finding put the secret to immortality. The other kings disagreed and forbade Kratos to attempt anything. Despite their harsh warnings, Kratos ventured into The Shadow and returned more powerful than any man. He mustered armies of dark beings and threatened to crumble the Realm. The other four lands combined their armies and attacked lord Kratos together. His kingdom fell within five years. The five founders of the Realm have been dead for many years now. The present times of the kingdoms can be learned in the summaries below.


    The Realms Empires and Cities

    Valtose Empire: The most prominent Kingdom in all of the realm. It also holds the largest military, however; it lacks strong trade ports whereas the Mearchet Isle has much prosperity from trade. Therefore, the Mearchet Isle is partially under reign of the Valtose Empire.

    ​Valtose Cities:
    1. Valtase – The capital of Valtose
    2. Voltaire – Richest city in Valtose
    3. Troltar – Rough city. Produces most soldiers.
    4. Lenaire – Lays close to a mine. Produces minerals for the Valtose.
    5. Cai – Main center of trade for the Valtose. Produces spices and silk.
    6. Vil – Home of the Bravarin Temple. Many priests learn healing and magic here. It is best to stay away from this city if you have no business there.

    Mearchet Isle: Best known for its large trade and abundance of specialty goods. Weak military forces, however it musters the largest naval force in all the realm. Most of the Isle’s navy, however, is under command of the Valtose Empire.

    ​Mearchet Isle Cities:
    1. Shkei Val Antose – Capital of Mearchet. Home to the King of the Isle.
    2. Lok – Home to many naval officers. The city where ships are designed.
    3. Vor – Fishing town.
    4. Eil – Fishing town.
    5. Kri – Main city for trade in Mearchet. Renowned for its massive gardens.
    6. Din – Second center of trade. Creates and trades 80% of the Realms silk.

    Mortec Lands: Mortec is a barren land composed of savages (According to the Valtose). It has been at war with the Valtose Empire for countless years. It has poor military and poor naval fronts, however, it makes up for its lack in soldiers by training skilled warriors.

    ​Mortec Cities:
    1. Mortic – Capital of Mortec
    2. Ungai – Produces most of the lands warriors.
    3. Wintelaire – Main center of trade for the Mortec.
    4. Bobesch – Rough city. Known to harbor many criminals from the Valtose lands.
    5. Odaire – Miner city. Produces 95% of Mortec’s minerals.

    Scraesh: Little is known of Scraesh in the famous Libraries of the Valtose. Few explorers have travelled here and none have returned. This land is avoided at all costs.

    ​Scraesh Cities:
    1. Scraish – Capital of Scraesh
    2. Voltec – Savage city. Follows brutal laws set by their “god”
    3. Lisk – Has few trade ships. Rarely trades with Mearchet.
    4. Raish – Nothing is known about Raish.
    5. Zaldvor – Nothing is known about Zaldvor
    6. Scorn – Former Capital of Scraesh. Reason of demolition is unknown.

    Regail Empire: Rivals the Valtose Empire in military and stature, however; has only been involved in one war since its foundation. Has a large trade base. Rarely involved in wars with the realm. The Regail Empire has been a coveted place to reside by many. It is common for older folks to move there when they retire, enjoying in its peace from war.

    ​Regail Cities:
    1. Regael – Capital of the Regail Empire.
    2. Tyvir – Peaceful town. Produces much of the Empires food.
    3. Xil – Xil (Pronounced ‘Sill’) is stationed in the desert. Mostly known for harvesting rare desert herbs used in medicines.
    4. Yyv – Yyv (Pronounced ‘Eve’) Is the main center of trade for the Regailions.
    5. Grinesh – Produces most of the empires soldiers and has many training camps located there.
    6. Ain – Largest mining city in all of the Realm. Produces 50% of all the minerals mined in the entire Realm.















    The Realm and its Noble’s

    1. Rayk – King of Valtose

    b. Lord Weirn – Scribe to the King and renown historian
    c. Lord Brisil – Commander of Valtose Armies
    d. Lord Quentil – Main advisor to King Rayk
    e. Lord Krux – Head of Finances

    2. Vyk Ein Pyre – King of Mearchet Isle

    a. Lord Uveil – Main representative of the king. Second in command of Mearchet. Lord Uveil is an ambassador from Valtose. Advises the king.
    b. Lord Thalos – Commands Mearchet’s armies and scribes the Isle’s trade outflow and inflow.
    c. Lord Haln – Head of Finances

    3. Tryyl – King of Regail

    a. Lord Scalk – Commander of Regailian armies.
    b. Lord Nierv – Advisor to the king.
    c. Lord Dale – Close friend of the King and is used to speak to the people of Regail when the King cannot.
    d. Lord Elendor – Head of Finances

    4. Vale – King of Mortec
    a. Lord Illiac – Commander of Mortec’s armies.
    b. Lord Plien – Head of finances.
    c. Lord Alandor – Main advisor to Vale

    We have no current records of any Nobles or Kings in relation to Scraesh.
















    CHAPTER ONE


    ​CRUNCH. The sound of splintering wood and bending metal quickly aroused Drayk from his light slumber. He leaped out from under his warm blanket and grabbed a few of his small tools. He burst out from the back of the wagon ready to fix the issue.

    "Aw, why do you always got to beat me?" said Drayk sadly.

    "I may be old, Drayk, but my speed never falters!" said Drayk's father with a chukle.

    "It's no fair! You get to sit in the front so you know when we get near a pothole!" whined young Drayk. He was only eight years of age, but his small pudgy hands had a way with wood. Since wooden wheels were prone to damage, often breaking one to two times depending on the length of the journey, Drayk and his father created a game of who could fix a wheel the fastest.

    Drayk's father just smiled and told him to get to work. Both of the wagon's back wheel's spokes were shattered, leaving them unusable. Drayk fetched a large lever from the back of the wagon. The lever was composed of a tall, thick iron bar and attached to the bar, was a long pull lever with a hole drilled in the end of it. Drayk's father would pull the lever down, which, in turn, would raise the iron bar upward lifting the back of the wagon. Drayk would then quickly pound a large stake through the hole of the lever, preventing the levering from failing. Drayk's swift hands quickly detached the broken wheel and within minutes, attached a new wheel. Drayk poked his head around the other side of the wagon and saw that his father was gone.

    "Aye, Drayk! What's taking you so long on that wheel?" called Drayk's father, who was sitting at the front of the wagon.

    Drayk frowned and sat down next to the lever, waiting for his father to help him detach it.

    "Oh, don't get so down Drayk. It's just a game," Drayk's father said.

    "A game that I lose every time."

    Drayk's father patted him on the back and motioned that it was time to get moving. Drayk packed up his small toolbox and sullenly resumed his position in the back of the wagon.

    Their journey was not an easy one. Drayk's family had been living in the city of Vil since he had been born. The Bravarian Temple had been getting out of hand in the city of Vil. Wizards were freely roaming the city and practicing spells, even in front of children. Drayk's father and mother decided to take their only child, Drayk, and move to the city of Troltar.

    Troltar, however, was by no means a peaceful city. Vil and Troltar are the poorest cities in Valtose, which is why Drayk's father chose to move to Troltar where he can take advantage of the low food prices. Drayk's father had rented a travel horse for his wife so she could ride the journey in comfort. She was already in Troltar getting their house ready.

    ​Drayk's father owned a medicine shop and because of that, he knew a lot about the wilderness and its foliage. He would often stop the wagon to show Drayk certain plants that could heal or be eaten. He showed him which ones were poisonous and ones that could numb wounds.

    "Drayk."

    "Yes, father?"

    "What is this plant and what is it good for?" asked Drayk's father holding up a thick, purple stalk.

    "It’s a Luskar stalk and it's juice is good for numbing wounds for surgery."

    "Great! And what is this one?" he asked holding up an almost perfectly round orange leaf with black lines running through it like veins.

    "That’s a Poltine leaf used for removing scars."

    Drayk's father smiled and nodded.

    Drayk's father slowed the wagon to a stop and motioned Drayk to follow him. Drayk's father led Drayk to a small patch of jet black plants, no bigger than the head of a nail.

    "Do you know what these are Drayk?"

    "I don't think so." Drayk replied.

    "These are called Scorn plants. Can you guess what they are used for?" his father prodded.

    Drayk shoved his face into the small patch and smelled them. To Drayk's surprise, the plants smelled wonderful.

    "Are they used for food?"

    "You could say that." said Drayk's father.

    "What do you mean?"

    "These are some of the most poisonous plants out there Drayk. Many assassins keep small farms of them to use for their deeds. Many armies also keep supplies of these to dip their arrow heads into. It's a horrible plant. Smell them again Drayk."

    Drayk again leaned into the small black patch of Scorns and took a deep sniff. He was expecting the lovely scent they gave off earlier but this time he reeled back is disgust.

    "They smell AWFUL! But they just smelled good a second ago!"

    "Yes Drayk. These plants seem to have a mind of their own. The plant tries to trick you into eating it as it gives off a sweet smell. Once you know what it truly is, it turns into a repugnant smell."

    As Drayk tried to fathom how this was possible, Drayk's father told him to head back to the wagon. Drayk's father returned to the wagon a minute later holding a small pouch in his hand.

    "What did you get father?"

    "Oh, just some more Poltine leaves. Those things sell like hotcakes you know." he smiled and tucked the pouch safely into his jacket.



    ​It was several days before Drayk and his father reached Troltar. The journey had taken its toll on the both of them. Tired and hungry, they were grateful that Drayk's mother had a pot of hot beef soup ready for them.

    "Ah! You look famished! Here, here eat this soup!" said Drayk's mother practically pouring soup down their throats.

    After they had finished eating, it was time to unload the wagon. They loaded all of the carts, filled to the brim with medicine merchandise, into a back room of the house.

    "I've just got word back from the previous shop owner that he accepted our offer of three hundred and fifty gold coins." said Drayk's mother.

    "That’s perfect! Tomorrow we'll have to load everything over and set up." said Drayk's father.

    Drayk was excited. He loved working in his father's shop, concocting all sorts of different medicines. His father often let him experiment mixing different plants together and test the results on small rodents.
    Back in Vil, Drayk had created one medicine that his father now sells in his shop. Drayk had mixed the dust from a Poltine leaf with the healing liquid from an Eelin Root. Previously, one would use Eelin Root to heal a wound quickly, then apply Poltine dust to the scar after the healing. Drayk's medicine would allow you to apply one salve which would heal the wound and leave no scar. Of course, mixing medicines is not as easy as dissolving powder into a liquid. Drayk's father helped him along the way and showed him which other parts he needed to add. Nevertheless, Drayk had initiated the creation of the medicine and he was very proud of it.

    Within months, their medicine shop had become the most popular treatment shop in the town. Many doctors from the army went there to buy their supplies in bulk. At one point, the highly esteemed Lord Brisil, commander of the Valtose armies, visited their shop and purchased a large amount of weak poison used for arrowheads.

    Drayk had always looked up to Lord Brisil and the way he commanded those around him and his air of importance had always facinated Drayk. Not only did Lord Brisil himself fascinate Drayk, but also his sword. Swords had always been an interest to Drayk, and even though his parents refused to let him get his own sword saying that it was an unnessesary skill for him, he still planned to get one when he was older.




    ​Drayk's family had only been living in Troltar for a year when it happened. King Rayk had ordered every able bodied man living in Troltar between the ages of 18 and 55 was to be drafted into the war against the Mortec. Within a week of the declaration, two large knights walked up to Drayk's house and pounded on the door. It was late in the evening.

    "Open up! This is the Valtose miliary!"
    Drayk's father slowly opened the door. The two knights nodded to him and the one on the right said,

    "By order of King Rayk, you have been drafted into the war against the Mortec. It is a honorable duty and if you would follow us without resistance, nothing will happen to your family and you will get a normal soldiers pay."

    "Why did King Rayk choose only Troltar?" asked Drayk's father calmly.

    "By moving to Troltar you signed a document at your arrival did you not?"

    "I signed nothing," Drayk's father replied.

    Drayk's mother began weeping and said meekly,
    "I signed the paper when I arrived. I didn't know what it was!"

    "The document you signed claimed that if you are an able bodied man between the ages of 18 and 55 King Rayk reserves the right to consider you a soldier. This is the reason the King grants many benefits to those living in Troltar. Now sir, come with us we have many more people to attend to."

    Drayk's father looked turned around to face his wife and Drayk. He gave them a weak smile and said,
    "I must be going now. Drayk, you keep up work on the shop."

    "Come along now!" said one of the knights as they yanked Drayk's father away.

    "Drayk! Make sure the box get puts to good use!" screamed Drayk's father as he disappeared into the night. Drayk's mother did not hear his last comment because of her uncontrollable weeping. Drayk was curled up under the table with not a tear in his eye as he continued to stare forward without blinking. Make sure the box gets put to good use. Drayk contemplated the phrase. He'd seen his father hide a long thin box in the way back of their store when they first moved here. Without looking at his mother, he sprinted out of their house and headed for their store.

    "NO! Drayk, there's no stopping them!" cried his mother as he left.

    He knew his mother could not keep up with him and soon her yells were drowned out as he reached town. He quietly stalked within the shadows towards their store. Even in his young age at nine years old, Drayk understood the dangers of being alone at night.

    After a few minutes of jogging, he could finally see his destination. What he saw made him stop in his tracks. The light to their store was on and the door ajar. Mustering up all his courage, he crept inside the bright room. Muffled speech came from the cellar. He poked his small head down the shaft to the cellar and saw two men. One large man with his muscles nearly tearing his thin black shirt, and another smaller man wearing a cloak. The two men were ripping the cellar apart.

    "It's not here Yervec! He must've hid it at the house. It's the only explanation!" said the smaller man.

    "You know I try to avoid violence at all costs Volski." said Yervec.

    "We need this blade. If that means killing his wife then so be it. Are you in or out Yervec?"

    "I'm in. But my blade will not be the one being stained."

    "Deal. Let's get this over with."

    As young as he was, Drayk knew his mother was in danger. Drayk gripped one of the wooden beams along the side of the wall and climbed up into the rafters of the ceiling. The two men crept out the door beneath him and turned out the light.

    When Drayk was sure they were gone, he dropped from the ceiling and landed with a thud. He turned the cellar light on and strode over to a large cabinet. The doors had been torn off and the contents within the cabinet were all smashed. Drayks knew the box was here somewhere. He stared at the cabinet looking for anything out of place. The cabinet itself was made of one enormous piece of wood. Drayk noticed that the highest shelf was a slightly darker color then the rest. It also had very thin cracks at the points of attachment.

    Standing on his tiptoes, Drayk gripped the highest shelf and gave it a yank. Nothing. He climbed up the cabinet partway and gave it a harder yank. Nothing. Frustrated, he punched the shelf with all his might which only contributed to hurting his hand. Next, Drayk worked on loosening he sides of the self. He was prying on one of the sides when all of a sudden, there was a loud CRACK and the shelf came loose causing Drayk to fall backwards off the cabinet.

    The chuck of wood he was holding was not a shelf. It was a case which was meant to contain a sword. He shook the container. It sounded like there was water inside. He grabbed a hammer and swiftly pounded on the wood. Drayk was surprised when the head of the hammer was smashed clean off from the blow. Drayk suddenly noticed that there was a deep hole in the side of the box. The inside of the hole was filled with curvy ridges, as if it needed a screw.

    Just then, Drayk remembered something from his old school history book on swords. Many times, kings and nobles would lock their swords within a box made from Hylx Wood, which was nearly indestructible. The only way the open the box was to screw the hilt of the sword into a hole in the side. Drayk glanced off to the side and saw a small figurine gathering dust in a corner.

    The figurine had two arms that stuck straight out below the head. Its legs were curved up and almost touched the tips of the hands. Seeing that the head of the figurine was loose, Drayk twisted it slightly. The head was screwed onto the figurine. Excited, Drayk quickly unscrewed the head the rest of the way to reveal that the figurine was the hilt. Drayk slowly screwed the hilt into the box. When he couldn't turn the hilt anymore, he heard a soft click as the box opened.

    Inside the box he couldn't see anything. Nothing but blackness. He dipped his finger into the box and quickly removed his hand. The box was filled with a black liquid. Drayk gripped the hilt of the blade and lifted it out of the box.

    Out came the blackest blade Drayk had ever seen. It was none other than a Scornful Blade, made from soaking Rayth Steel in Scorn Plants for years. And Drayk's father had made it. The blade was five feet in length and double edged. Rayth Steel is known for being the strongest steel while being the lightest. A blade of this size would only weigh a mere two pounds. Not to mention, Rayth blades also cost a fortune. One could live an entire life off of the profits of one of these blades. Drayk quietly sat in awe of the blade when suddenly something occurred to him. His mother was in danger.




















    CHAPTER TWO


    "WHERE IS IT?" screamed Volski.

    "I don't know what you're talking about! My husband was never fond of blades. He would never make one!" pleaded Drayk's mother.

    "Lies." Volski spat in her direction. "Your husband has crafted a Scornful Rayth Blade while he resided in the city of Vil. This weapon belongs to the Bravarian Temple! Hand it over woman. I would hate to resort to violence!"

    "What? I…I don't understand. We are a poor family. We could never afford Rayth steel!" cried Drayk's mother.

    Volski strode over to where Drayk's mother was tied up and stuck his thin, bony face right in front of hers.

    "You wouldn't want anything to happen to the boy would you?" snarled Volski. "Yes, that’s right. We know you have a son. I would take pleasure in his pitiful squeals of pain. Now, where is the sword."

    "I…It's at the shop. I don't know where he hid it! He didn't tell anyone!"

    Volski stared at her with a frown on his face.

    "We already ripped your shop apart woman. It is not there. Your time is up."

    Volski drew a long thin dagger and prepared to strike when he heard a deep grunt come from behind him. Volski whipped around and saw Yervec's eyes bulging in pain as the tip of a jet black sword protruded from his thick chest. Yervec toppled forward to reveal the small nine year old Drayk clutching one of the most coveted blades in all the realm.

    "LEAVE MY MOM ALONE!" screamed Drayk.

    Volski's thin lips curled into a wicked smile.

    "Ah, look Helen. Your son has arrived and he has just what I need."

    Volski whipped around and jabbed the dagger straight into Helen's gut.

    "NO!" bellowed Drayk.

    Drayk charged with the blade held high. As he neared Volski, he swung the blade with all his might aiming for his head. Volski ducked the swipe easily and landed a hard punch right into Drayks stomach. Drayk toppled over, dropping the sword. Volski leapt over to the fallen blade and snatched it up.

    "Farewell Drayk. You fought a hard battle for a young one. Because of that, I will let you live."

    Volski landed a hard kick to Drayk's head knocking him out.

    "Oh, and you might want to check on your mother. She isn't looking too good." said Volski with a cruel laugh.



    Drayk's eye's slowly worked their way open. Actually, only his left eye. His right eye was swollen shut from the blow to the head he received from Volski. Drayk tried to get to his feet, but fell back down instantly. He laid on the floor for a full hour before he felt able to stand. As tipsy as he was, he managed to get to his feet. He shot a quick glance over to the chair his mother was tied to but quickly looked away.

    She was completely drained of her blood. Drayk grabbed a small burlap bag and started to fill it with food, extra clothes, and any small piece of money he could find. He went into his father's workshop and grabbed a small saw to use as a weapon. With everything packed, he threw the small sack over his shoulder and headed back up to the main room. He slipped by his mother with his eyes tightly shut.

    When he felt he was near the door, he opened his eyes and let out a small yelp. In the doorway, laid Yervec's body shriveled and blackened and giving off a terrible stench. Drayk turned around and vomited. Using his saw, he smashed a window and climbed out of the house.

    Without looking back, Drayk stumbled away from his house towards town where he planned to find some medicine at their shop.

    Drayk managed to get quite a few strange looks from the townspeople of Troltar and for good reason. Drayk's right eye was swollen and still bleeding and he had vomit on his shirt. Drayk ignored them and was relieved when he finally reached their shop. He yanked on the door. Locked. He went over to the right side of the building and plucked a fake flower from the ground. Underneath, hung the key to the shop. Drayk slipped the key into the door and turned. Nothing happened. Suddenly, Drayk noticed a sign hanging above the door. The sign read, Bravarian Temple Storage Unit – Must Have Permission Slip To Enter.

    Now angry, Drayk grabbed the saw out of his pack and began swinging it violently into the door. Soon enough, Drayk loosened a board in the door and ripped it out. Being a thin nine year old boy, Drayk was able to slip through the narrow opening. Inside, there was nothing but darkness. Drayk crept over to where there was usually a candle only to find that it had been removed.

    He stood unmoving for a few minutes looking around until he noticed a extremely thin beam of light coming from where the entrance to the cellar should be. Drayk tiptoed his way over there and felt around with his hand until he felt the handle. Using caution, he slowly opened the hatch.

    Nobody was in the cellar and there was no candle lit, yet there was a faint white light that seemed to shift its way around the cellar. Uneasy, Drayk began to chuck almost every medicine, salve, root, and leaf he saw. As he was headed back up the ladder to the main room, he heard a faint voice.

    "You shouldn't be here," it said.

    The soft female voice didn't seem to come from another humans mouth, instead, it seemed to be planted directly into Drayk's mind.

    "I let you live because you are merely a child," it continued.

    "What do you want with me?" Drayk said aloud in a shaky voice.

    "Leave," it said.

    "Where are you?" Drayk said as he scanned.

    The white light floating around the room suddenly started to condense until it was somewhat in the shape of a human. Its face was far from beautiful. Its features consisted of a long jagged nose, two inch long sharp teeth, and a few stands of thin wispy hair. It's fingers were long and knobby, as were its toes, and it appeared to wear a ragged cloak.

    "Leave!" it screamed as its hands pulled on what little hair it had left.

    Drayk decided to not ask anymore questions and bolted out of the store. Drayk was terrified by the encounter with the spirit and ran all the way to the opposite end of town.

    Drayk had seen beggars in town before but he had never been one himself. With his father in the war and his mother dead, he was all by himself though he still had hope his father might return. It had now been six months since he left his house and he had reached the age of ten.

    All of the original food and money he had packed were now depleted although he still had plenty of medicines. Drayk despised the thought of pleading people for money, so he made his way by haggling with drunk men in bars. Knowing that drunk men couldn't think properly, Drayk would sell extremely cheap medicines, like Poltine powder mixed with water (A scar remover), and pretend that they were a much rarer product like Eelin root juice (A healing medicine).

    When his Poltine powder supply would run low, he would set off on a trek to nearby woods and pick a batch of Poltine leaves. It was dangerous work though since men could get violent if they found out they were being cheated.

    On a particularly sunny day, Drayk found two men fighting outside a bar. After a few minutes, the fight broke and one man went back into the bar and the other was still laying on the ground.

    "Sir, I see you have a few wounds. If you'd like, I'm selling Eelin juice a very low price of ten silver coins."

    The man grunted and sat up.

    "Lemme thake a look at it," said the man with a swollen lip.

    "See here? It's a full bottle. Usually goes for fifty silver coins at a normal shop."

    Drayk held up the small flask but didn't hand it to him.

    "Hand it over. Lemme thsee it up clothe."

    Drayk was nervous but handed it to him.

    The man surveyed the flask then narrowed his eyes and said,

    "Lithen kid. You better get lotht before I whip your cheating butt."

    Drayk turned and ran away from the man as fast as his legs could carry him. It had been his sixth failed attempt in a row and it had been a few days since he had eaten. Men were starting to recognize his face as well. Getting desperate for supplies, Drayk made the hard decision of returning to his house to search their salt barrels for any preserved meat. In his mind, it was better than begging.

    The house looked the same as he had left it. Yervec's body was still shriveled in the doorway but Drayk didn't dare look inside the house for fear of seeing his mother again. Then something caught Drayk's eye. A sheet of paper was nailed to the door.

    Drayk sprinted up to the door and scanned the note. It was a notice from the military. Drayk was not the best reader, but he managed to understand most of it. Tears welled up in his eyes as he read the notice. His father had died in a skirmish with the Mortec. Drayk read the last lines of the note over and over in his head.

    ​ ....Talous fought valiantly against the Mortec savages and the loss of his life was not in vain. Despite the sadness of death, one should not mourn; for by his choice to become a soldier, brave Talous understood he was giving his life for a bigger purpose. You have my condolences.

    Signed – King Rayk.

    "HE HAD NO CHOICE!" screamed Drayk at the top of his lungs.

    Tears were streaming down his face. Drayk crumpled the paper and threw it into the house. Instantly, Drayk turned his face away. He had seen his mother. Suddenly, Drayk became angry. He looked right into the house and stared at his mother. The anger of her death boiled in him. He ran over the their garden and grabbed a shovel and started digging.

    Three hours later, Drayk had dug a large enough hole to fit his mother in. Drayk drew his saw out of his bag and cut the ropes that were binding her to the chair. Shutting his eyes, Drayk picked up her body and quickly transported it to the hole he dug.

    After filling the hole up, he scattered flower seeds over the burial site. Drayk stood motionless for a few minutes before he realized that he was starving. He was relieved to find that they still had a couple chunks of meat that were cured with salt.

    Drayk ate about a quarter of it and stuffed the rest into his pack, along with a bunch of salt. There was nothing left for him at the house. It was time to leave and never return. Drayk quietly walked away from the house. He was known in town to be a cheat, he had no money, and no food. Drayk realized it was time for him to let go of his pride. He had to become a beggar.
     
  2. I would ask sasuke_uchiha if you want feeback... I hear he's the king of fan-fiction
     
  3. Ok cool. I kind of want a general idea though if people would like me to continue posting my story. If not really anyone reads it or its not their style I'd like to know.

    All I want to know is if the story catches your interest. And if you want to know more about the story let me know that as well! If enough people want it, I'll continue posting the rest of the chapters as i finish them.
     
  4. I think you should continue posting.
    Carnage really enjoys your thread as he got first post :)
     
  5. Only forum queens like sasuke care about first posts
     
  6. Where did I say anything about caring about first post?
     
  7. I like it, give me more.