My attempt at a bit of a story

Review, and tell me what you think..?



I stared into the darkness. A careful, cautious step forward rewarded me with a crackle below my bare feet. I shivered; I was so cold that it was reaching my soul, making every inch of my body throb in pain. My feet ached from the cold, and my face felt raw and numb. I tried wiggling my fingers; they felt fat and stiff. If I could have chosen whether to be here or to be dead… I’d much rather be dead.
All I know is that I was in the hands of Death. Every time my heart thumped with a pulse, it felt as though it would tear through my chest. Flashes of black shattered my vision, like cracked glass; quickly spreading. I don’t know how long I had been struggling to stay about my wits; everything seemed blurred together.
“For so long, I have been here. I don’t know why I’ve been put here, and the least you could do is tell me why!” I yelled out to nothing in particular. The only way I knew that anything around me was alive is the flapping of wings as startled birds swooped out of their trees, not seen by my dull, emerald green eyes. The trees around me were bare, and loomed eerily above me. Survival is all I’ve ever known, and it’s all I’ve ever been. If there was one other thing that I have been, it’s fearless. The darkness doesn’t scare me, my situation doesn’t make me tremble, and death does not make me rash, I thought to myself. Had I not talked to myself every moment, my sanity would be gone with the warmth.
I walked for a while longer, moving no faster than the air around me. Nothing sounded around me anymore; no branches creaked in the wind, and no owls hooted from the seemingly everlasting, unrelenting shade around me. But even myself, who I thought had the strongest willpower of anyone, could not fight the shadiness and cracks that pierced my vision. I fell, letting the realms of unconsciousness take me into its arms.
****
I did not want to open my eyes when I regained my consciousness. My head throbbed as if there was something running inside it. It felt as though an ice pick was mining into my skull, and I bit my lip to hold in my groans of pain. When I at last tried to open my eyes, it took some difficulty. My lashes had frozen together in the cold of last night, and it proved a valiant struggle to pry them open. Immediately, I hissed at the light that hit my vision, and my eyes narrowed greatly, greedily accepting the darkness again.
Fate has not smiled upon me, not once. At the young age of 5, my mom and dad had fallen into cracked ice, dying in a watery tomb. My brother stayed by my side for only a few years more. He gave me knowledge on the essentials of survival; finding food, scoping out water, and building a sustainable shelter. One day, he seemed to know that we would be separated. Until that day came, he wanted to prepare me for every second. As my eyes closed quickly again from the vicious, luminescent glare of the sun, my mind flashed back to when I had lost my last shard of hope.
“Run!” Jack yelled, his brown eyes brimmed with tears as he urged me away, desperately trying to claw his way out of the man’s grip. “Fiera, run! They’re here!”
“Jack!” I screamed, voice breaking as his face turned red, then blue from the lack of air. The man had his hand clamped about Jack’s throat, and men large as trolls were appearing from the foggy mists of the tree line behind. His brown eyes, the ones that used to hold such mischief and fun, were now steeled. They showed no fear of death, but only fear for my safety; for the safety of his sister. I ran, and I never looked back. I acted on a coward’s behalf, running from the Crusiadex, the group who sought to kill the remaining members of the Fajera family for treason. The treason is all false, and it was never us. I assumed I was the last one left as I was dashing away, my torn leather shoes falling from my feet.
The only thing that snapped me out of my reminiscing was the smell of smoke, and my eyes darted open. Moments ago, my heart was soft and vulnerable. As I stood up unsteadily on shaking legs, my heart was hard as diamond. If the smoke led to a fire, and food, I would go as
far as I had to. I took a quiet breath, and looked around me. I was on cracked ice, both metaphorically and literally. Looking below me, I cursed at seeing how badly shattered the ice
was. Slowly, I lifted an unclothed foot, and with a pointed toe, took a breath-holding step forward. The ice, gleaming like the sun on sparkling water, creaked in protest against the slight weight that my foot gave.
It seemed like I had waited for several lifetimes before I let out my breath, heart rate speeding. The ice did not crack, and I let out a weak laugh. Even more reassuring than this was
that the land; oh, how much I looked forward to seeing solid land stay firm underfoot, was only yards away. Another pointed, naked foot of mine was placed forward, and landed without a sound on the thin ice. Again, a creak sounded from the ice, but no crackle. I smiled at how cruel nature was at this very moment; merely a dream waiting for a hint of fear. Surely, an axe-strong girl like me had no fear, not any fear that I saw. It was a dance of death across the ice, the chilling wind taunting me.
I stopped suddenly, the crack of ice thunderous to my ears. All I could hear now was my erratic breathing, and feels the quivering of my body. My heart was a drum at that moment; a ferocious melody that was only going faster and faster, louder and louder. I sprinted, with the ice crackling louder and faster than ever beneath my feet. “Take me to the finish,” I prayed, and leapt. Long legs like mine could bring me far, but as I looked below me as ice continued breaking, I doubted myself. I could make out the red of my curly, fiery hair, and a flash of my green eyes. Though the ice; a makeshift mirror was shattered, it was unmistakably my reflection. Time slowed down, and my streaked and horribly tangled hair whipped around my face as if it wanted to hide my eyes from what was happening. Suddenly, the timing of the world seemed to turn normal again, and the wind was knocked out of me as I hit solid ground. I moaned, rolling onto my back. My shoulder was now in agony, seeing as it had taken most the impact.
Black cracks began seeping into my vision, and I blinked my eyes open and shut many times, refusing to be taken away from consciousness again. The best I could do for myself at the moment was to get water. Cupping my hands, I gathered water from under the cracked ice. Had I been on the pond and cracked the ice deliberately then, I would have been in too much danger. The water trickled down my throat, and I washed my face with it. Though it was miserably cold,
it was refreshing. And with it came hope; hope that I might make it out of this forsaken forest alive.
I suppose that all luck comes with a price. My price for escaping this ice was, in my opinion, eternal grief and fatigue. Every bone and muscle in my body was turning numb, something I did not know whether to be concerned or grateful about. My mind had shut down,
wondering why I allowed the prospect of hope to even slip through the filters of my thoughts. I had lost everything; my family, my home.
Though I was worn out, I refused to give in to not surviving. With feeble and sluggish movements, I got to my feet. I had escaped the deadly ice because of the smoke, and I would find it. I ignored the bits of blurriness that rudely came into sight, the smoke getting stronger. I wished that I could not see what was in front of me, but I was also glad that I could.
There was no food for me; two foxes had cooked meat hanging from their jaws as they scampered off at the sight of me. Death was now mocking my every wish and desire, for there was also no fire. There were fragile embers that were glowing orange and red, not strong enough to start a fire, but refusing to be extinguished. A steady line of steam rose from the embers, swirling in intricate patterns in the still air.
The embers continued on blazing with warm colors into the night. I stayed alongside the abandoned fire, knowing it was the only warmth I would find. Every now and then, the embers would flicker in and out of light like fireflies would. I blew on them, rekindling their hopeful luminosity. As the night’s darkness slowly faded into the elegant beginning of a sunrise, the
cinders sparked. My eyes widened as a fire ignited before me. I can’t explain how, after a long and restless night for both me and the coals, it had another breath of life.
Without reluctance, I shoved my hands over the fire. At first, the pain of the heat bringing feelings back into my hands hurt, but within a few minutes, I was laughing. I wiggled my fingers, and they felt slender and useful again. I put my feet next to the fire, and slowly they also regained
feeling. After all this time; suffering, something had gone my way. Within an hour, I was warm, but not hopeful. I still had no food in my stomach, and much time had passed since I had last eaten. Without food, I would vanish from this world quickly. Hope flickered in and out, like the fire.
A twig snapped in front of me, and I whimpered. I was without anything to defend myself, and as my gaze snapped up, I didn’t think I could take on whoever it was. A tall figure stood in the shadows, a figure I knew anywhere. A soft wind, gentle as a mother’s caress, swept a scent of vanilla and pine to me; wafting the scent into my nose. Brown eyes, full of mischief, twinkled in the firelight. My eyes brimmed with salty tears. Looks like all my suffering is having a taste of its own medicine. I’m not the last of the Fajera family lineage. I may win this yet.

 

Thanks, you guys Also, I apologize. I forgot to make the flashback scene of Fiera and Jack in italics... Oops. Sorry!