Mommy Dearest- A Dark Poem

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by LethalEncounter, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. My second post here! Enjoy.

    Mommy Dearest

    Mommy: I don't trust you.
    Me: Who ever said I wanted your trust?
    I'm sorry Mommy that you stuck a knife in my back.
    Especially when I wasn't looking.
    Mommy: Don't lock the doors.
    I'm sorry Mommy, but you have been locked out of my heart. Locked out of the door containing everything good and kind.
    Mommy: Pick and choose your battles.
    But mommy...you fight with everyone...
    Mommy: I'm going to leave. One of these days I'm just going to leave you all.
    I'm sorry mommy dearest...I'm sorry you're still here.
    Mommy: It's all about you isn't it?
    I'm sorry the world doesn't revolve around you mommy.
    Mommy: I can take the truth but I cannot take a lie.
    But mommy...lies are the only words that escape your lips...
    Mommy: I can't even look at you.
    Then you cant look at your own reflection mommy. The monster you created.
     
  2. I'm sorry mommy dearest that I hope you die.
    I'm sorry I want to escape your witch like talons and leave you.
    I'm sorry I hate you.
    I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
    I'm sorry I was born.
    I'm sorry your my mommy.
    I'm sorry mommy dearest.
     
  3. This is about the relationship between my mom and I. The reason it's separate btw was cuz I was afraid it would cut off.
     
  4. Beauitful, though it's sad how your relationship is with your mother. (not saying its your fault)
     
  5. Thanks moody. I really wanted to write something I could connect to. :)
     
  6. That's so sad I'm sry for u I hope ur relationship with her will get better..if it can ...
     
  7. Lethal u know we love u in the clan !!!!
     
  8. Hmmm... Redundant. I didn't think the first one posted o_O Sorry.
     
  9. No prob. I made it redundant because I'm always saying sorry irl, for things I can't even control. I wanted to get that across to the reader.
     
  10. Yeah.
    But I was talking about me. Your style is good xD
     
  11. Aww. Thank u. :3 -huggles- XD
     
  12. Everyone. Please give me your opinions and thoughts on this poem, or suggestions. They are much appreciated! :D
     
  13. I feel a connection with you. Tus a deep one bro (not a gender specific bro)
     
  14. Well, you know my connection. If your mom is a witch, my dad is an evil wizard attempting to be good and failing miserably. xD
     
  15. Thank you for ur input. :3
     
  16. And Joey A. Put 'er here. -puts out fist to fist bump- XD
     
  17. Well, that's certainly... Interesting.

    I'm not one for poems myself, so I don't try to look for symbolism, but that's just dark! Like, psychological decline dark!

    Well done, just try to give it a little more flow next time. It seemed a little broken up at times.