prologue:"just need super laser skin blue and 20 lock picks and a rope".I said "or use the door".my partner said
"lets give it too the boss."he said. "LINE UP YOU LOUSY MAGGOTS!!!!!!!!"the boss barked "NOW ITS TIME FOR THE MAN WHOS MANLY TO FIGHT KILLER COME ON HE'S HOUSE TRAINED!!"*he smiled a creepy smile*
"ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!"the boss screamed.*I grab his neck then he pushes.me too the ground*"ooooooofgh!"I exclaimed.*he grabbed me with his jaw and threw me*"aghhhhhhhh!"I exclaimed.*I try to get up but he bit my arm*agggggggghhhhhhh!"
*it walks and he claws me I see my belt* #My belt#.I thought. *I graded my tazer and shocked it*"there."I said with relief and trying to get up
... Thoughts: 'Oh no!' He thought. A thought ran through his mind, 'darnit.' SINGLE QUOTES. ... To - "to" a place, "to" someone Too - "too" much, "too" many grammar errors Two - 2 ... Also, if you want anyone to actually bother reading this, try making your entries longer than a sentence.
Oh, and also - when a character says something, put the period or question mark INSIDE THE QUOTES. This is correct: "...Something." This is not: "...Something". On top of that, please make use of paragraphs and SPACES. After every period, there is a space.You wouldn't want to read this."Yes I do".says Cheese.No. And, use commas. For the love of god, use commas. If you look closely, you can see that I, in my explanation, am using commas. They are used to separate lists, put pauses in sentences, and making sure no sentence is read like a boring pile of crap that goes on and on and on and on like this one in which you've probably noticed there are no commas which makes it look very bad and unpleasant to read. You also have spelling errors galore.
jeez don't get mad because Im horrible at this its just a story not real life just quit it you don't have to say this and that I don't have but I do have jeez