I like it Good job, weldone, awesome, excellent, great work, perfect, ka pai, stunning, beautiful, addicting, eye catching, heavenly, celestial, etc Couldn't be bothered writing more lol.
Nice first chapter. I would've suggested that you added detail to the last part about Snake stepping out, such as "and the mysterious speaker, a middle aged man clothed in a dark tunic stepped out into the light, his name being Snake." Like maybe a little detail to the new guy, but not to revealing. And don't worry, I'll also assist in grammar and where you wanna take your story. It's a pleasure. Sorry if I'm not on much, I've got school, lovelife, sports, and homework lmfao. So just wall me on KaW to get to Palringo iZaln
Hi,want ur story rated? Check out my new thread the Critics it's supposed to say that but it says By: Taylor13589