LORINTHIA FEEDBACK/DISCUSSION

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by L00KER, Aug 9, 2013.

  1. Hey guys :) sorry if my story is terrible please post constructive criticism hrre
     
    #1 L00KER, Aug 9, 2013
  2. Has an interesting plot so far some doesn't make sense though
     
    #2 Blubber_Clubber, Aug 9, 2013
  3. Chapter 2 is up :) some comments would really help /:


    Anyway hope its a little bit better, I will try to write a lot more :mrgreen:
     
    #3 L00KER, Aug 9, 2013
  4. Horrid grammar. Take a few years worth of classes then possibly try and write something that doesn't burn my eyes out while I attempt to decipher the devastatingly illiterate ramblings of a two-year-old I have just witnessed you attempt to pass off as something a half-assed middle school student could write.
     
    #4 -DaveStrider-, Aug 10, 2013
  5. YAY thank you!!! I cant believe it ... that's actually a compliment :)
     
    #5 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  6. And well your at it ... the same goes for your book as well :)
     
    #6 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  7. I ACTUALLY DIDNT SOUND RETARDED FOR ONCE screams and rolls away
     
    #7 -DaveStrider-, Aug 10, 2013
  8. Next chapter up .. sorry if my story sucks. Its only two threads sooo. You guys should be able to deal with it.
     
    #8 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  9. Fyi I wouldn't be talking if I knew that the other person could easily farm me :) dave
     
    #9 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  10. Considering the fact that I am Dave's friend and owner, and the fact that she was being sarcastic.

    I would really not do that if I were you.
     
    #10 Smighter89, Aug 10, 2013
  11. You are like 3 m cs higher then me ... I don't think you.will ever be able to hit me ...
     
    #11 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  12. Make that 4
     
    #12 L00KER, Aug 10, 2013
  13. But my spies can hit you. Pretty dang sure.

    Anyways, you want feedback and I'm not going to give it so I'm going to leave.

    Don't threaten my friends.
     
    #13 Smighter89, Aug 10, 2013
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