Like Lightning

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by NW-_King-0f-Death_-ST, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Out their somewhere lies a land… Not a wonderfull, prosperous land. A gloomy land where people do what they have to do and don't complain. A place where arguements are sorted with a fist fight. Even deeper in this land you will find the underground town known as "Neolitte". The people of this seemingly normal town were some of the best fighters. But not Jim. Jim was the little one, the small one, the one with friends he hated. Jim was not strong but whenever he got into a fight he won. Jim was fast, fast like lightning. The faster the punch the harder the punch. Jim told himself that a lot to keep confident if he found himself trying to pound somone very strong. Anyway Jim was the odd kid. His parents ignored him most of the time. Jim planned to runnaway with his secret friend Manny. Manny was that funny kid, the one that could make everything a joke. Jim thought this trait was like a gift from the gods to Manny. Jim had it all planned, the escape route, what they would need ect. Only one problem remained. Jim had never been to the surface but he had heard stories of people with long silver sticks that would cut someone in half. Jim knew that fist fighting wasn't as popular everwhere as it was here. Jim and Manny snuck out in the middle of the night. Nothing special, just shut the door quietly, stick to the shadows, that kind of thing. When Jim and Manny reached the surface they were almost blinded by the light of the ball of fire that foated in the sky. Jim choose to go left. Soon they came to a town. They went into the tavern and ordered some beer they were told they were too younge. This made them both quite angry. A bunch of well dressed teeneagers were standing by the far wall laughing at them. Jim walked up to one that seemed to be the leader and challenged him to a fight. The leader was well built so he agreed. At first Jim let him throw a few punches and dodged them. Then like lightning Jim was throwing punches and pretty soon the leader was on the ground out cold. The leaders friends were shocked, speechless and boiling with rage. They pulled out their silver sticks and peirced Mannys skull. Jim was absolutly shocked, he ran, they chased him. Soon Jim had to stop, he was puffed. They caught him easily. They all came swinging at once but like lightning Jim dodged every blade and got close to one. He was knocked out before anyone could do anything. Jim quickly king hit another but this guy managed to stab Jim. Jim went pale, then it all got dark……

    Give me some feedback and well see if I continue…
     
  2. Continue. Just use paragraphs next time
     
  3. Lol… pfft paragraphs are over rated… :p
     
  4. Bump need some more feedback and some character bios that fit the story! Cheers
     
  5. Jim woke to find himself in a dimly lit room with sunshine poking through holes in the roof. Jim tried to get up but feel back as a sharp pain shout through his body. He dozed off into a deep sleep. He woke up to find a shadowy figure patting his forehead with damp cloth.

    "Your the key to it all" the figure wispered in a rhaspy voice. "Rest you'll need it, you were stabbed right through the stomach and have been unconscious for near a week". "Wha, What happened?" Jim managed to force out his mouth. "You have caused a war that has ravaged this town. You will fix it or burn at the stake" The shadowy figure snapped. With that Jim fell back asleep.

    He awoke feeling almost normal. He found a peice of parchment on the floor that said "Jim, you are to go to Sir Elsward. He wilk teach you how to fight with a sword. Then head to the blacksmith. I have sword waiting for you and some light armour. Then proceed out of town and meet me at the forrest". Jim folded that up and slipped it into his pocket. He managed to stand and get outside, he went to learn how to fight with a sword. He met the knight in the blacksmith courtyard which was also a training yard. "Hello, are you Jim?" He spoke proudly. "Yes, are you going to teach me how to fight or not?" Jim moaned in pain. With that he threw Jim a medium sized stick. Jim caught it and the knight charged.

    The knight did a fakie to the left and smacked Jim in the face. Jim fell to his knees but rose to face him again. The knight charged again, but this time Jim rolled forward and hit the knights stick out of his hands. The knight impressed punched Jim in the gut and grabbed his stick. Jim was winded on the ground and gave up. "You did well for a first timer, you have some potential!". He walked off leaving Jim with the blacksmith. The blacksmith handed him a long, light blade, it was black with a white handel. The blacksmith found him a set of light but sturdy metal armour. It was silver with black linning. The blacksmith said "all paid for in advance like planned". Jim didn't know what he meant but didn't question him.

    Jim made it to the forrest after stopping to ask for directions multiple times. Unfortunatly the forrest was huge. He sat down by a big tree and surveyed his wound. Nasty. He was looking around for the mysterious figure when something hit him on the black of the head hard. Jim was dazed, before he could react his hands and feet wete bound and he was hauled onto someones shoulder. From what he could see they were wearing a dark cloak with dark facemasks. After walkibg for awhile they came to a clearing. The person sat Jim down and said "Jim, when you were stabbed it lead to a unfortunate chain of events that has brought us here. A war is coming, a big one. The mages tell us your the key to it all." "You will now be known as Deadillus, but I'll call you DD for short." He handed DD a black cloak. "Take this, it has unkown magical properties that are sure to help you!" Finally Jim.. err, I mean DD to talk. "I really don't understand! Am i just mean't to understand all this?! One minute I was dieing, next i'm out saving the lands?" The figure who know identified himself as Leo replied with "Yes, you have no choice. Head back to the town were you were stabbed, the little town of Geoyga. Find your friend Manny, he needs you!" And like that Leo dissapeared.

    Stay tuned for more! Some feedback and pointers would be great!