Leaves From the Vine

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *ArchangelYuki (01), Jul 29, 2012.

  1. Retired Firelord General Iroh sat down at the base of the tree in Ba Sing Se before pulling the picnic basket off of his arm and unloading it. One by one, objects were pulled from the basket and arranged. As the elder pulled out the last object from the basket, he paused to look at it before setting it down.
    Aftef everything was finished being set up, he quickly lit the two candals.

    "Happy birthday, my son. If only I could've helped you..." Iroh brokenly stated, tears freely falling down his aged face.

    "Leaves from the vine,
    falling so slow.
    Like fragile tiny shells
    drifting in the foam.
    Little soldier boy,
    come marching home.
    Brave soldier boy,
    Comes marching home." Choking down a sob, the retired General was unable to hide the anguish that he desperatly tried to supress every day.

    He felt responsible for Lutens' death. He had been the General! Iroh was not naive enough to think that he could save every soldiers' life, but the elder could have never imagined that his sons' name would be among the deceased. Long after the sun had gone down, Iroh began to pack his belongings back up. After double-checking to make sure that nothing was left behind, the man turned away from the tree.

    Before leaving, though, Iroh whispered, "goodnight, Luten. I'll see you soon," before walking back into the city humming the tune he had sung to his son.

    --Owari--
     
  2. It's touching (not really, poor grammar takes away from it), but this isn't actually for legit Fan Fiction.

    We like standalone stuff here.
     
  3. I'm not sure if your writing a story or a poem with a back story. Either way it's still good
     
  4. For all who didn't know he basically gave us a snippet of a tv show and what was implied. Good writing, bad inspiration. Write something original and unique next time please.
     
  5. *chuckles*

    Says Titi2Yippy. I haven't forgotten, bro.