Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by ApeGod, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. *insert your best jokes/comedy below*
  2. What did Batman tell Robin before he got in the car?

    -Robin,get in the car!

    Sorry for the bad joke ^^
  3. What's the difference between fava beans and chickpea?

    I wouldn't pay to have a fava beans on me.
  4. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

    One is really heavy; the other is a little lighter.
  5. Your mother
  6. I think that's a uh... what do you kids call it...

    A real 'zinger'
  7. Really disappointed, I was looking for much more gold comedy when I came here.
  8. Someone please come to the rescue.
  9. I tried, not my fault everyone else has awful jokes :|
  10. One night i came home to see my wife hoarfrosting around with my best friend. He was deep in her abysall pit, i saw him even go down on her lowlands, then after he went back up for her highlands, at the end she was screaming osman rai louder than ive ever heard before.
  11. So three guys walk into a bar

    Alpherium, a leaderboarder and a dev.

    The lber says to the Dev "Nice weather we're having".

    The dev replies "Bit rainy".

    The leaderboarder is curious... "But there's no rain".

    Then Alpherium jumps in "It's always raining for the devs".

  12. So a man walks into a bar. Ouch

    (Probably the worst so far)
  13. Ego and Superego walk into a bar, and the bartender tells them, "I'm going to need to see some ID."
  14. I swear the next person to walk into a bar... I will murder
  15. So a dyslexic man walks into a bra
  16. A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force:

    "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, " he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.
    (At this point, several of the children giggle.)
    I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me."
    At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company"
    "That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts." 
  17. I had to correct Pingu on this historical inaccuracy..

    German airforce did not use Fokkers in WW II (The famous Fokker Dr. I flown by the Red Baron is from WW I)

    But the Germans did use the Focke-Wulf in WW II

    *dramatic pause*

    I know.. I know.. low effort.. please lock

  18. Thanks, Ashes

  19. Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation.

    His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man." The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."