Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love! An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Ashesofeden birth certificate is a fraud. He's not really from the garden of Eden. He's been lying for all of his Kingdoms of war life to you. How dare he be praised and ever run for a valiant knight! The only card ashesofeden has is the woman’s card. He got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Ashesofeden were a real player, I don’t think he’d get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing he got going is the woman’s card, and the beautiful thing is, women don’t like him. So I've decided. I will make kingdoms of war great again. I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our ally market and I will make Apocians pay for that wall. Mark my words. Keep them Apocains from stealing our allies! How? You ask?! The beauty of me is that I’m very rich. I make things happen. Got teams of incredible people that can do incredible things. So why should you back me? You ask?! All of the women on World chat flirts with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected. My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body I'm rich. I'm really rich. That's the beauty of being rich. If I want to give myself money. I give myself money. I make things happen! If I want something. I get it! If I want ass. I get ass. If I want money. I get money. If I want power. I get power. The point is, you can never be too greedy. So I've decided. We will change kingdoms at war and we will make it great again. I don't care who supports me. If you don't support me. You are wrong and if you think I care. I don't. You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass. So. If you want change. Support me! If I don't win. It's because them zaft hackers got to the votes and made sure I didn't get the power to destroy them. I would lead wars. Many at a time. I will create many bombs! The thing with bombs! You want to be unpredictable! I love war. In a certain way. Bombs should be on the table at all times. Ashes says it's irresponsible. I say. I'll bomb them until they know our greatness. If you don't like me. Then you're ugly! You're stupid! Just remember my name! I will be your president and savour!
Woa woa woa.. Don't be questioning my Birtherism.. I'm legit Eden-ite? Eden-er? You have been mistaken Bigly
Laugh at him all you want, but he managed to become the president of the us by being an idiot so props to him
Mr. President elect C0ML3Y., Mr. President elect C0ML3Y., This is BuzzedFeed.. the Fake KaW News organization.. if I may ask a question., How do to propose to repeal and replace the.. *dramatic pause HarambeCare? We the free players are sick and tired of the Whales..
Well. Call me. Mr president J C0ML3Y. Harambe is a failure. A complete waste. I will create C0ML3YC4R3 This will be 10x as great.. because it's in my name. Gonna be funded by my money. For them poor noobs and nubs that don't work their asses off to get power like me! I started with nothing! My owner only gave me a small volley of a tril! Look at me now! I've created amazing threads. Always been brilliant in world chat and who doesn't love me?
UPDATE: The latest poll has ashes down by 100% and Mr. J C0ML3Y is up by 104%. Rumours are speculating that Mr. J C0ML3Y has been appointing his cabinet already. Is it true Mr. J C0ML3Y that the following women has been selected to join your cabinet?
This is true. Salty my friend. I've started to get the people who can fit in many positions. If you know what I mean! She'll be heading up the campaign. After all. You gotta grab it by the...
I blame the FBI for that unsubstantiated hosting of my pm's!!! I swear they are not hosted in my mom's basement..
I pledge my allegiance to the KaW people. I promise free stuff for everyone! All you have to do is pay a generous 70% tax to yours truly and it will be free to you!
No it doesn't.. it says "Hi".. like a greeting.. from Eden.. *Please read the above in the tone of the Monty Python dead parrot sketch.. Ok, ok I admit it.. I took Obama's drivers license and photoshopped it.. But enough about my birtherism.. I would like to know the President elect C0ML3Y's foreign policy on KaW.. I have a few questions such as.. Is BLAZEY a Russian Spy? If so what do you plan to do with her? That German clan "Knights of the Cross" sounds like some Teutonic Knights.. are they part of KaW Illuminati? NCU (Nee Chee Uh) clan sounds like a North Korean outfit.. shall we invade them before they can put a nuclear warhead on the ICBM? Did Roni cause Brexit? Or as I like to pronounce it in the Queen's English "Breast-it" Oh.. talking about the Queen.. What do you plan to do about those hosers from the north in some clan named after some Rye Whiskey called Canadians Club?!
Well, to the people of kingdoms at war. •I will tell you. I have a large creditable source that tells me. Blazey is indeed a huge member of kgb branch code named "fury" an elite branch of spies and traitors! These will cease to exist! They've already have had my speeches with blazey herself. She insures me. She is in fact. Ready to work with us. Though. It's also been stated. They can also be working against me. If this is the case. We will need to be dealt with. With extreme prejudice and methods. We will not stand for their involvement of such unspeakable things. •if Kaw illuminati existed. I owe it. Next question. You bore me • Bomb them. Is the only responsible course of action. They shall not be allowed to have potential threats to this world. • Roni is the singular reason of breast it. She was the lead campaigner. Constantly posting unproven claims and highly inaccurate figures. We'd be working closely with her and all of the nubope. Making sure trade and other resources such as screen shot. Will be provided and 100% not faked. She's a huge part of being a better Kaw. We need allies. Allies we can have fight wars for us. Canadian club. Should of never had their independence and they are neither ally nor enemy. Reports say. They have plans of building a wall around their clan. So I've decided! We will build a bigger wall. To prove we are the best at building walls. With my money. To prove that I'm rich. We will stop them. We will also take their maple syrup supplies! Now get out my sight. You ungrateful pest! Where's that pretty little ass gone. She wasn't stupid and rude like you!