#joke - The Contest (with a prize)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by *holabfnfnensjxjdndn (01), Dec 10, 2014.

  1. 1st has recieved their prize and 2nd place I am waiting for him to follow me back. Thank you to all who participated and I hope more will participate in my Christmas Event. December 25th-January 1st. 3 events with about 100-120$ of google play and iTunes to be won.




    I have added up the votes!!!!

    1st Place Bronze- TheSethosaurusRex Entry 4


    2nd Place Silver- V__CHOPPER__W Entry 6


    3rd Place The Diamond Joker- Ninja Entry 16
     
  2. 35 contestants and only 3 can win, here are the voting rules and how voting will work!

    To vote you find the contestant number and write for example: I vote for contestant 1.

    Voting rules:

    1 .) You can only vote once

    2 .) You may not vote for yourself

    If you break one or both of the two rules your vote will not count.

    Let the voting commence!!!




    Our 1st contestant
    2nd Contestant
    The 3rd
    The 4th
    The 5th
    The 6th
    The 7th
    The 8th
    The 10th :D
    The 11th
    The 12th
    The 13th
    The 14th
    The 15th
    The 16th
    The 17th
    The 18th
    The 19th
    Our 20th :mrgreen:
    The 21st
    The 22nd
    The 23rd
    The 24th
    The 25th
    The 26th
    The 27th
    The 28th
    #joke
    Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it screamed 1 at a time.[/quote]

    The 29th


    Our 30th!!!!!!
    The 31st
    The 32nd
    The 33rd
    The 34th
    Last but not least our 35th
     
  3. a guy walks into a bar and he says, "ow!"
     
  4. Dyslexic man walks into a bra'
     
  5. Two women go out on the town drinking and partying. Stumble into a cemetery and both have to pee. Nothing around to wipe with so 1 uses her panties and the other grabs a wreath laying next to a headstone. The next morning 1 of their husbands calls the other. My wife is never Goin out drinking with you wife again. My wife came home with no panties. 2nd husband says, well my wife came home and still hasn't woke up. She had a tag in her who ha that said " You will never be forgotten" signed by all the firefighters at company 4.
     
  6. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the gay guys house.

    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    The chicken
     
  7. Please follow back. I have some valuable information regarding this thread. 
     
  8. Want to see something funny? Pull down your pants and stand in front of a mirror
     
  9. Your stats #joke
     
  10. @ The OP.

    Not @ the onlookers that just followed me. 
     
  11. What's the name of the man with no arms, no legs, floating in the water?

    Bob

    What's the name of the man with no arms, no legs, wedged into your mailbox?

    Bill

    What's the name of the man with no arms, no legs, lying on the ground next to a hole?

    Doug

    What's the name of the man with no arms, no legs, lying on top of the newly buried hole?

    Phil

    What's the name of the man with no arms, no legs, floating with the carrots and beef?

    Stu

    That's all for now :lol:
    All I could think :|
     
  12. Q.) what do you call security guards working outside of a samsung shop?
    A.)Guardians of the Galaxy :lol: #joke

    Q.)what happens when life gives you melons?
    A.)you're dyslexic

    Q.)why do blondes wear their hair up?
    A.)to catch everything that goes over their heads!

    If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
     
  13. A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
    When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
    His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
    ''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
    ''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
    ''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny, who went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of ****!'
     
  14. A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

    After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

    "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
     
  15. Your stats #joke
     
  16. I would tell you all a joke about pizza, but it's kinda cheesy
     
  17. Hey ass clown hulk already said that
     
  18. Time to get out the notepad...
     
  19. Also, who remembers this joke?