Jail Escape Bait

So you're hitch hiking on a long abandoned back road, when suddenly, a policeman pulls up besides you and offers you a ride!
What a kind dude!
Of course, you get in, and as you're going down the road you think I yourself.

It's when you turn off for the State Penitentiary, that you realize that your outstanding warrants, due to many, many, many, many speeding tickets, have caught up with you.
You're going to jail, and the cop has nabbed you.


Despite your pleas, you are taken in, and have a mugshot taken, before being processed, and put in a cell with a man of alarming size named Big Chi Chi.
Lucky you.
After spending several nights on the bottom bunk, blanket pulled over your head in an effort to block out Chi Chi's advances, you have perfected the art of bending your knees and clenching your asscheeks to retrieve the soap, and managed to choke down that horrible, horrible substance that is prison food.


Gyeh.
Naturally, after participating in this involuntary fasting, you are famished, and want real food.
You are desperate to be a free man.
Well, with help from a guard, you can be free.

First step is:
Have a guard sneak a plate of steak outside your cell.


After days without real food, you will be starving, and your nose will be highly sensitive.

First, you will not notice it for a moment.
Here is an inmate sitting in his cell, regretting the day that he fell for Ashes' jailbait.


Next he picks up the scent.

You can see the look in his eyes as he sights in on the steak.


He strains against the bars, trying to get at it.

This is where the deprivation of food comes in.
Your prolonged separation from real meat has left you with a desperate super strength. This enables you to bend the bars, eat the food, and escape the prison quite easily.

This tactic does not work in cows though, explaining how your steak got to you.


I hope this helped. It allowed me to escape, and it might do the same for you too

 

I'm here to help!!!

 

Then you need some Crisco, a Hug Me Jacket, and a Nurse with high heels.

 

Also, Chi Chi's prosthetic nipple.

 

I didn't say this was the only method.

 

I know...