Please post your feedback for Isen here. Keep the comments clean, and please try to leave real criticism whenever possible. My work depends partially on your response. Enjoy.
Interesting, surely. Can't say much about the plot but the description blew me away, as it usually does from people's writing. The only bone I have to pick so far is, "I see you recognize me as a bars." First off, *bard (that's not that important, but) " The visitor laughs, and takes a swig of his ale. "I've seen enough Bards to know their marks. So, can you provide? The storm outside is a real wonder, as we know, and we don't plan on leaving any time soon." " How does he recognize him as a bard? What are a bard's marks? (What are marks?) But other than that, pretty bang up job. [Meant in a good way.] I may also be overlooking something? Forgive me if I have.
Amazing. Even though it's short, I was Hooke immediately. It gave me some major Skyrim Deja Vu. Though you seem to have a problem with those d's and s's. First paragraph: Bits=Bird. Later on: Bars: Bard. Though one grammatical thingie I've wondered: You said about the part when people were listening to the other adventurer telling his tales. You said "watching intently" (I don't know if you said intently, but no matter). Doesn't "listening intently" make more sense? Unless he was active it all out... Either way, please write more. Keep the... feel too. That warm feeling that I got while reading this; it felt like I was in the bar itself. Good luck! Make them longer so there's more to read, if you can.
I'll see if I can get on the forums on my computer eventually to fix the grammar issues. Thanks for the feedback.
You forgot: "The crowd watches intently, waiting to hear his tales..." That's a contradiction. I'm picky, is all.
Well you don't watch tales so... You listen to the story, but you watch the person acting it out. So yeah :3
"Please to no more argue." -Cheesemuffin Beautiful. Can't wait for the next chapter. I want to meet this Isen fellow! With a name like Isen he/she's bound to be cool.
Seems pretty good I would like more detail on what a bard is and can you post on why wall when you update
Love the next chapter. What happened to the ice chunk? Did he actually forge it into a weapon? And why does this fellow have to become cruel?
Maybe. I might have a chapter done today, depending on when I finish my Doctor Who viewing. I'm trying to finish the entire 2005 series before ComicCon comes about.
Unfortunately, nothing will come within at least the next twelve hours. I've got stuff to do like sleeping and school.