Iphitos feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by cheesemuffin, Feb 15, 2013.

  1. Self-explanatory.
     
  2. Where the **** in LoKaW II?

    Bad Cheese.
     
  3. LoKaW 2 is... Not my current project.
     
  4. But but but but but but but but but but but but

    NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


    Why? Dx
     
  5. Hush, Kat.

    It seems to haveā€¦ a lovely kind of complexity. The way you write is amazing, as always.
     
  6. Once again, you don't cease to amaze me. Seriously, you're probably the best writer in KaW. I still don't understand why you're not an author.
     
  7. Once more I have decided to re-resume this! The idea's really been bugging me, and those that know me may be familiar with the term 'Cheesemuffin Syndrome'. But, today is a special day! Today is the day I set an alarm that forces me to write! Yaaaaaay!
     
  8. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
     
  9. It's...AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. Nice :) I like it
     
  11. Never fail to please, Cheese.
     
  12. Please, leave more elaborate feedback. I can only fix what I'm told needs fixing, and there is no way in hell something isn't off.

    Also, show some of that FF spirit! I'm totally open to suggestions and complaints!
     
  13. Does not enough chapters count as a complaint? Cause otherwise I don't have any.
     
  14. i think when your a better writer than the reviewers (no offense to all you guys) and you cant find any problems with it, then they generally cant either. :p
     
  15. Ha I'm a shitty ass writer and I freely admit it. In all honesty I think I'm decanting at reviewing as I've done it a few times I'm just to god damn lazy.
     
  16. Hmm.

    Really good writing, hard to find flaws.

    But maybe a little more description would perfect this. Don't go Victor Hugo on me, that's way too descriptive.

    I'm checking back to see if I missed anything.
     
  17. And only in setting. Description everywhere else isn't a problem.

    The only example I could find was: When you first describe the room, I can't quite
    Picture it. Probably since its dark and such, but anyways.

    When they go back, you say, "More benches, more screens" I'm like: Wait. Benches? What benches? Are they in a park??? What???

    But that was a few months ago, so that may be the reason why it confused me.

    Also: Sorry if this post has poor grammar, kindle is being buggy.