IALS: Revamped - Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Allioss, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. Please post all feedback for "It's A Long Story: Revamped" here. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy it!
     
    #1 Allioss, Jun 9, 2013
  2. It's a very good start. I look forward to seeing more.
     
    #2 Lil_Tiger, Jun 9, 2013
  3. I loved the intro! It sets outs a good note for story, and I am excited for more. Funny, laughable, and still makes a point.

    Please post more!
     
    #3 Bremen, Jun 9, 2013
  4. It's a great start to the story can't what to read more
     
    #4 SL_COURAGE_SL, Jun 9, 2013
  5. Thanks, guys! :D I am very glad that you like it :D
     
    #5 Allioss, Jun 10, 2013
  6. The second part of the prologue has been posted! :3 I would love to know what you all think! :D
     
    #6 Allioss, Jun 11, 2013
  7. It's a great story so far (after parts 1 and 2 of the prologue). You use a ton of figurative language and a wide variety of verbs. Maybe work on the title a bit so it applies to the plot more(or maybe it applies just not yet). It's hard to say more without seeing the rest but I'm looking forward to reading the rest no rating given because story not completed
     
    #7 FlamingTomato, Jun 16, 2013
  8. Thank you very much for reading/reviewing it! :D :D :D
     
    #8 Allioss, Jun 16, 2013
  9. Awesome so far. The intro is awesome.
     
    #9 -IROASSASSIN-, Jun 17, 2013
  10. Is this the Vampire story?
     
    #10 RenamedPhoenix, Jun 17, 2013
  11. Yes it is. :3
     
    #11 Allioss, Jun 17, 2013
  12. And Geoff will be kicking a significantly greater amount of rear end in this version! :D
     
    #12 Allioss, Jun 17, 2013
  13. That's my character, right? :)
     
    #13 RenamedPhoenix, Jun 18, 2013
  14. (And you have to bump the story)
     
    #14 RenamedPhoenix, Jun 18, 2013
  15. A belated bump for the end of the Prologue. All feedback greatly appreciated!! :D
     
    #15 Allioss, Jun 23, 2013
  16. It's okay to post chapter one and not prologue part 50. o_O
     
    #16 Bremen, Jun 23, 2013
  17. I know, I just wanted meeting the vampire to be chapter one, and the prologue kind of spiraled. :3
     
    #17 Allioss, Jun 23, 2013
  18. Really good but I'm confused by the little part about some lad named Ojun. Am I not meant to know yet or have I missed something?
     
    #18 etak, Jun 23, 2013
  19. Interesting, I can't wait for more 
     
    #19 -TwistedFate-, Jun 25, 2013
  20. Bump!
     
    #20 Allioss, Jul 1, 2013
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