I will be back don't worry

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *hulkzord (01), Oct 22, 2012.

  1. why did he think Im dirt when I make cities why does she think Im a freak when I have the hands of craft men why does he think I will die alone when I give love to poor why didn't get the girl I like when I made my cities from scratch but it didn't changed at the fight I did but Ill tell you that later.
     
  2. (sorry if I made a mistake)
     
  3. Prologue:I saw the students use to laugh a me but now respect me my dream actualy came true it was a happy day.
     
  4. "HEY LOSER WHY YOU HERE"!!!!! a kid screamed."to learn".I answered back.
     
  5. This looks like it will be interesting!! :) In the first paragraph, one thing that I saw was that it needed was question marks at the end of each sentence. ^-^
     
  6. look I don't want trouble."I said."oh your gonna get it."he said as he threw a punch a another kicked my leg I cried in pain I then heard a crack and it was my knee."OWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!"I screamed in pain.they all started to run to not get in trouble.
     
  7. (any mistakes?)
     
  8. When people are talking, make a new paragraph when the speaker changes. Like this:
    "Hello," he said.
    "Hi, Joe! How are you?" She replied.
    "Good." He said happily.

    That will help clear it up, and makes it also easier to read. :)
     
  9. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT"!!!!! I cried out.I started to sob over my knee.I started to be full of tears screaming crawling as I crawled to the door.
     
  10. "did you see that?"a man asked.
    "yeah they broke my knee."I replied
     
  11. "why did you do that?"I asked.
    "your everyone's punching bag."he replied.
    "oh yeah."I said.I threw a fist he then jumped and threw a fist and then picked me and threw me hard I then tried to get up but it was too hard
     
  12. Could you bring back a few brain cells when you do come back, so you can explain exactly what that gibberish is you just spewed .....
     
  13. try to keep it constructive, dork. :|
     
  14. Commas. Please use commas.
     
  15. @op what are you trying to do with this thread? Please elaborate why and for what purpose did you create this thread
     
  16. AND SHUT UP IM NOT GOOD AT STORIES HAPPY NOW JEEZ I GIVE UP
     
  17. Now Ill happley explain it now he's a nerd with no respect and he then gets the respect and I made the thread because Im trying again to make a story but failed again