I met afternoon. I saw him dancing with his orange silky cloak. I caught his smile and snowy white teeth. His soft yellow shirt and his vibrant red and pink trousers shimmered in the sunlight like fish in the sea. He took a sandwich out of his bright blue bag and started munching away like a vicious lion. A woman with long, smooth blond hair which danced in time with the wind, tapped his back. The dull grey suit and the dull grey skirt, scratched the smile off of his face. She caught my eye as the gloomy painted face she wore, eased into a smile-didn't smile back. He skipped over to the old bridge; he admired the shunning river as he was waiting for her. She arrived, they hugged sadly and with a dramatic swish of his cloak, he was gone. 1 o'clock had begun. I'm new to fan fic so plz don't judge me! I'm quite young as well and I'm not really the best writer in my class. I hope u guys like this poem! Plz read and comment! (not a story btw it's a poem)
Nice, I thought it was ginna be a story, but it wasnt. I was an amazing try by someone new to fan fic. though I think one Line was too long and it broke the flow. Other than that great job
it's obvious you're not the best writer in your class. reading that poem was like trying to understand someone stuttering when they talked
Well d bo if u will give me some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism then I'll b happy to take it, and no thanks to u I am getting better at my writing and it's a working progress
don't quit your day job. you better go to college because you have no future in writing that's for sure
Just as a quick heads up d_bo_assassin gets a kick out of saying people are rubbish so don't take it personally. I think it's an interesting poem and I really liked it.