Goodbye Cruel World It had all gotten too much. I stared at the pills in my hand, wondering if I dared to swallow them. The alternative was much worse. Cruel parents who beat me and treated me as their servant, being constantly bullied at school, having no friends whatsoever. Well, that wasn't completely true. I have one friend, and one friend only. Her name is Rebecca, and I love her more than anything else in the world. I have loved her ever since I had set eyes on her 6 years ago, when we were 11. She's the only reason i refused to commit suicide. Thoughts of her clouded my mind, and my scarred hands put down the lethal pills. Those pills would give me relief. Give me a slow but painless death. End my endless misery. I would end it now if I could, but then she would never know how much I love her... Friday, 8:30am I was walking to school wearing my headphones, the music on full blast. If you listened to the music I listened to you would probably go deaf. Suddenly, a small pair of pale hands knocked my headphones off and covered my eyes. "guess who!" she said in a sing-song voice. "oh I wonder who it could be sunshine?" That was my nickname for Rebecca. She really was my sunshine, but she didn't know it. I started humming The tune of "You Are My Sunshine" to myself. "Daaaan! I know I do this everyday but you could at least try and be fun. Hey are you humming "You Are My Sunshine"? Surely you haven't been listening to that!" I stopped humming it at once. She put my headphones on but took them off again almost immediately, pretending the sound had destroyed her ears. She hopped around, screaming "IM DEAF!!!" right in people's faces. That was one of the many things I liked about her. She was never afraid to make a fool of herself, as long as she was happy. I pulled my sleeves down so she wouldn't see my scars. She hated them. She's only seen my arms. If she saw me shirtless she would probably faint from the amount of cuts I had. I always cut myself. I wouldn't really call it a hobby, but I wouldn't call it impulse either. I guess the pain and the blood is just a distraction from the agony of reality. Besides, half of my scars aren't even my fault. My parents have left marks after they beat me. Blisters, bruises, and many other things I don't want to mention. I also used to get beat up by people at school. It stopped, but I had to threaten them with a knife. That got me into a lot of trouble, but I didn't care. I rarely cared about things these days... Becky always asked me why I cut myself. I never replied to her, as I never had a real reason. If I told her that it was a distraction she would probably make me do singing or something stupid like that. To her that is a distraction. We got to school and went to class. Me and Rebecca had every single class together, but we only sat next to each other in a few of them. Maths, science and art. We had maths first, which was good, even though I'm terrible at it. Becky tried to help me but I usually end up copying her. Today's lesson was particualy boring. I imitated our teacher every time he spoke, making Rebecca giggle. Unfortunately our maths teacher had extremely good hearing, so we both got a detention. Becky freaked out, whining about how this would go on her school report and what a bad reputation she would have. I, on the other hand, was quite happy about it. To me it just meant more time with my wonderful Rebecca. "Dan? Daniel!" Becky whispered, giving me a small kick under the table. Dammit. I had gone off on a daydream about her again... "pay attention! We already have detention. Don't make things worse!" "huh? Oh. Right. Pay attention." Eugh. Why did maths have to be so boring... The worst part is that Rebecca could be mine, if it wasn't for that son-of-a-***** called Alex. He didn't care for her at all. Their relationship was purely for show. But Becky always thought it was more. She always tried to talk to him and was so sweet to him, buying him little gifts and always making sure he was happy. And what did he do in return? He used her. He flirted with other girls behind her back and gave her gifts to them. He didn't love her at all, and she poured her heart out to him, trusting him completely. We sat in art. My book was full of paintings and sketches. Half of them weren't classwork. Just sketches of the same person, over and over. This time I drew two people. They were sitting on the edge of a cliff, looking out at the blank but soon to be beautiful view of the sunset. The boy had his arm around the girl, and her head was resting on his shoulder. To me it was clear who it was, but Rebecca seemed to have other ideas... "hey what are you drawing this time? Can I see it? You never let me see what you draw!" She grabbed the drawing out of my hands before I could say a word. I sat completely still and stared at the floor, waiting for her reaction. It wasn't what I expected. "Wow! This is amazing! Who is it? Is it me and Alex? Aww that's so sweet of you Dan! Thanks so much! Can I keep it?" "huh? Oh... Sure..." She ripped the page out of my sketchbook before I could say a word. The picture was barely half done. I had only done the outline. If I had finished it she wouldn't mistake it for Alex. If only she knew how strong my feelings for her were... I didn't talk at all for the rest of art. I tried to redraw the picture, but I gave up with a frustrated sigh and ended up drawing a coffin. Guess who was inside. Was it me or him? I'm not too sure myself. Becky was too preoccupied admiring the picture and adding to the background to notice how strange I was acting. This was one of the first times I had actually seen her put effort into a piece of art. That just upset me even more...
By the way this is completely fiction. I do not know anybody in this situation, or anything similar. This all came from my slightly disturbing imagination. O_O this also seems to be one of the very few proper stories here... Anyway, here's the update. Friday, 12:00pm I sat by myself in the cafeteria. Rebecca normally sat by me, but she had gone to talk to her "boyfriend". I caught a few snippets of their conversation. It sounded sweet at first, but slowly grew worse and worse... "he's just a friend!" she said. Alex said something in return that sounded full of spite. She replied in a strange voice, half angry, half afraid. "Well at least he bothers to talk to me!" After a year of denial, she was finally realizing what a crappy boyfriend she had. Alex seemed to notice she had realized too. He replied in a loud voice that rebounded across the the whole room. "well if you like him so much, why don't you be his girlfriend?" Rebecca was shocked. She never knew she meant so little to him. She tried to reply but nothing came. "did you really think you meant something to me!?" he spat. "I never loved you! I used you! The only reason I asked you out in the first place was for a bet. You're a pathetic loser whose only friend is an emo outcast. I can't believe I didn't dump you earlier." I was seething with rage. How dare he talk to my beloved Rebecca like that! But what made it worse was what he did next. He slapped her across the face, and she fell to the ground. I couldn't hold myself back anymore. A year of anger for Alex, from the day he and Rebecca became a couple till now, broke free. I walked over and punched Alex in the face. I was rewarded with crimson blood flowing from his nose. I smirked in satisfaction. Nobody hurts my sunshine. I helped a sobbing Becky up and walked her away. A bruise was starting to form on her cheek. I wanted to kiss it better and tell her everything is ok, but I held back and only did the latter. "shhhh. It's ok sunshine. Everythings gonna be alright." "no it's not! It's not gonna be alright!" she wailed. "he meant so much to me..." I rolled my eyes when she wasn't looking. I took her to the school nurse so she could get cleaned up and have that bruise checked out. He must've slapped her pretty hard... Suspended. For a week! A teacher saw what was going on in the cafeteria and told the principal. I don't get to see my sunshine for a week. This is going to hurt... At least I have the detention with her tonight first. The suspension starts next week, and today is friday. Maybe I can see her on the weekend... Detention, 3:30 We sat in silence. The teacher droned on about how bad we all are. I had heard this lecture a thousand times, so I just blocked it out. Rebecca on the other hand, listened like her life depended on it. She sat up straight and took in every word the teacher said. Her eyes were still slightly red, and the dark purple bruise on her pale face stood out like a sore thumb. I just sat next to her and visualized the teacher being burnt alive. Once the teacher finally left, I tried talking to Rebecca. "well sunshine, how does detention feel?" No reply. She just stared off into space. Daydreaming, or thinking. Or maybe reminiscing... About what? I spent the rest of detention finishing off the drawing of the coffin. I drew a hand hanging out of it. I decided it was him. If it was me I would have drawn blood. When I got out of detention it was raining. It had been bright and sunny this morning, so nobody had an umbrella. Except me. I always expect the worst. I took my umbrella out of my bag and looked at Rebecca. She was staring at the rain in dismay. I didn't need to think about who would be dry and who would get wet. I went over and silently handed my umbrella to her. Before she could say a word, be it of thanks or rejecting the offer, I walked away. I splashed down my street, constantly stepping in puddles. I was soaked to the skin, and I was absolutely freezing. But as usual, I couldn't care less. The only thing I cared about was her. Nothing else. As long as she was happy, I could be... Well, maybe not happy. But as close to happy as I could be.
BLAH. This is, first off, spazzy and the writing is all over the place. Second, the way you present the story. You give all the information out at once, not leaving room for suspense, drama, ect. I can't even read past your first post, it burns my eyes. Leave this stuff on PiMD, not here. :|
Stop hating on tash ._. She's a great writer, and if you want to give her criticism, say it nicely. Please.
Fallen- We here at KaW are not the same people on your PimD forums. We are harsher, crueller, pickier, and overall have a higher standard. What PimD calls wonderful, we find to be horrible. a)We are non romantics. b)We are picky. c)We aren't as hormonal. d)We take our writing much more seriously.
There are no stories because: 1)We're lazy. Lol. My stories, cheesemuffin's stories, FeatherHunter's stories. They're all buried. 2)The golden age is over for us. You have stories, but they're generally less intense and yeah. Ours are different in style and representation. Your age is dawning, ours is over.
Not quite my point. When we say things to an author here, it's because our analysis is different. We look for different things. We look deeper, another reason I say we take ours more seriously.
Heh, just read the critisisms for this story, no one at pimd had the guts to say this stuff and tash has been struttin like she owns FF ever since, this just made me not want to kill you all anymore. Atleast the justice system is fair here, maybe it's not so bad.....
We're critics and we call it like we see it. You should probably still call it like you see it though.