Constructive criticism welcome here with open arms. (>••)>CRITICISM<(••<) Feel free to post. Click below to read the story: Fire Meets Ice viewtopic.php?f=12&t=31736 And yes prologues never make sense.
Of course right where I actually need a comma I don't have one. Anyways thanks for that I'll change it if I get onto my computer.
Two posts in the almost past hour. *sigh* So sad. And this is why I stop most of my stories. More comments tomorrow pretty please!
Technically shined is a word but I guess it fits better. Give me some slack at least. Lol I was pretty tired when I wrote the prologue. And I was never good at editing. I'll get better don't worry. Laterz and Gnite fan fiction!
Well, I like it. A little confusing, though. I'm sure you'll smooth out the bumps soon and make it an awesome story.
Chapter 1 posted. Sorry for errors (please post any if you find them) and the confusion. It should start to make sense soon...
How dare you hug criticism! Criticism is MINE to hug! (have noticed that when you post that you like criticism, you don't get it as much lol!) Well, here's my two cents: excellent description as always. The voice of your girl character carries through well. You need to work on your 1st person boys, it doesn't sound smooth when you are "talking" as him. Also, next time you write a story, be sure to provide more backstory. It's not a good idea to start a scene with your readers completely clueless, it can confuse them. Second chapter was better, but thats because you were writing about a girl.
Sorry forgot to add the hug part was inspired by you in the first comment. But thanks for the comment and tips.
I'll probably have to type it up on the iPod which will take awhile (huge thumbs small keyboard) but I'll see.