Ferda's Story.CX-L Warrior Part 1

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Zborek10, Dec 21, 2013.

  1. Story begins at litlle kingdom,far far away.18 year old Ferda Havin a Dream.he wants to be a Baker,makin people happy of bakin breads and donuts.He learning the secret techniques of makin Banana donuts,Strawberry Donuts,and more flavours of donuts.

    Ferda came to my kingdom 5 years ago.he wants to make more people happy.and as a 18 years old makin donuts for an all kingdom.he was happy when he's see smilin litlle kids,or teens.

    Then...one year ago,came war. Ferda was the first who came to king.first one who wants to be at my service.First warrior.

    Gettin into first battle with 30 drunked guys and me.With King Z.We fightin with small group of assasins.we fight an hour with them.and only me and Ferda getting home with smell of wictory.

    Many days has passed...Ferda fights every day,every minute of my live beside me...

    Day at war:302.
    As usually,Me,Ferda and 2000 troops going to do some Mining Job with Stone Gollems.but....

    "Something is not right"says Ferda when we entered Into Mines."Be prepared".Says Ferda and takin his special Donut Sword to hand.

    Five minutes till enter the mines.First battle.but something wrong.Titans!Shout one of troops,and takin swords.Everyone!Focus!
     
  2. Incredibly cheesy, horrible grammar and spelling, is there a point to this? Did you take the time to think this through and develop it into an actual story? Please drastically fix this or discontinue it.
     
  3. NO. STOP NOW. Don't write another word. Bad story. No grammar. Sucks.

    I'm sorry, I just don't realize how you thought this would be a good story. Please fix this or stop writing. Please
     
  4. I'll assume you're not a native English speaker. Adding to that, you have to get the tenses right - A person is not doing something that he finished doing - he is either doing it or he has done it.

    Please, learn some grammar before you attempt this again.