This is feedback for my first story. Stranded. It is a work in progress story I'll post new chapters when I can. Any feedback critical or good reviews is accepted thanks and tell me what you think please!
Use the enter/return button. It makes the story more understandable. Are you using a writing app? If not you should.
Zap no worries it ain't gonna be like lost. I've never watched lost before so idk what's similar and what's different
Remember it's my first story so I'll learn as I go along, I have another idea for a new stranded story but it's still in the developmental age. So if I get positive reviews I'll continue the stranded series, if not I'll do a new story
Ok, I don't write stories but I know you should seperate your paragraphs like this Blah blah. Blah blah. Just helping
Not bad. This is your first? If so pretty good. First chapter could use some better punctuation.(Commas specifically). Word choice was OK, but I could think of better words for a few things. Try using a thesaurus or dictionary.(On computer if ur lazy lol) And nice how you put spaces in chapter 2. I recommend linking ur iDevice to ur PC so you can edit on the computer.(If u haven't already) I felt events were slightly rushed and had little description. Like when the pilot decides to fall asleep. I think u could've added how the pilot felt before falling asleep. Also I noticed you say when you have a new chapter up in your sign up thread instead of the feedback thread. My reason for saying when I have a new part up in the feedback thread is so the thread is bumped and ppl can see it and leave feedback in the feedback thread. Lol And... never ever ever write the story in the reply box! I did it with my first story and regretted it. Proof reading and editing is done easier from a document or Notes or a writing app. Plus you have a copy of your story and if KaW suddenly crashes you have to retype. I wish I had known better... Anyway great story so far, I can't wait to read more!(srry it's really long)
No prob and thanks, I'll use the reply box because I'm not too great at documenting things and finding them. Etc. I have crappy connection with my computer too, sorry that I rushed things on the second chapter. I was wanting to get chapters out quickly which is probably where that cane from. I'll try to use my computer but I'm not too confident in it lol. Ill try to use better word choices also. Thanks for the advice btw.
Np and U don't need to use your computer, u can use notes, which is in case u don't know, an app preinstalled in ur iDevice.
Oh by the way does my story have a chance at competing with dragon tale 2, a changing personality, or other major story writers? If so that'd be awesome since it's my first time writing
The organization was frusterating. You need more paragraphin, grammar, punctuation etc. Your vocabulary in the story isn't as bright as it should be. Try describing their surroundings a little more, plus what these people look like. Keep writing! Practice makes perfect, and good job so far