Fall of Serenity

I am introducing a story that has been in my mind for a long while. I would love to get feedback, ideas, and suggestions!

prologue:

-Serenity- Was a young and peaceful Kingdom built by the river of Serenity. The River offered a good source of water and fish as the land around it was plentiful.
Queen Yumie, reign over this kingdom for most of her life and found solace amongst her people. Always in public this young queen could be found anywhere from the blacksmith forges to the public market.
Her small army was lead by 3 brothers. One was a skilled warrior, the other a sneaky and wise assassin, the third a markman Archer.
The three brothers kept the kingdom saft and would often travel to distant kingdoms to ensure all routes to -Serenity- was safe and secure. Though wit alone will not win all wars.

They came in the night lighting the skys on fire. There numbers hidden in the blackness, It took all the brothers witz conbine to defend their castle till the dawn. They thought among themself that the light, oh the light will show our enemies numbers and we we be able to fight back with vengeance!

Though not even the sun can guarantee happiness to all. It was when the dawn of a new day broke, that the fall of the kingdom was realized. Out before them stood a sea of men, and with new light their archers took aim and the arrows would black out the sun as they rain down on the Castle.

Retreat was not an option. The three brothers would be captured and forced to watch their enemy burn down their home. Then the worse fate was realised when the queen was found.

Held in bonds by the evil war commander, he smiled as he looked down on his prize. The queen, in tears, looked to the final warrior of Serenity. The only three left who survived and cried out. "I will always love Serenity as I will your three.. Now flee from here and survive."

With her last words, spoken with love, was also used as a desteaction. A black ball fell out from her robes and rolled inbetween her and their war commander. His smug smile vanished. And it exploaded...

 

Chapter 1

Three warriors are found crawling through the Seas of Sand, or better known as the crystal desert. Two of the men are draging their unconscious brother through this bitter hell on earth.
Of the three, the older brother, is a knight. His helm has been lost as his shield, though his breast plates, leggings and boots remain. Ones the sun would reflect of the edges of his armor, now rust grows from the bends and scars of the tainted steal.
The youngest brother is dressed in black. His robes wrap over his light armor and chainmail. Though his attire is also as ragget as his brothers. This brother though also has the rare traite of his mother, where is eyes are so light blue, it seems as if he has no color in is eyes at all.
The middle age brother, dressed in green robes wrapped around his chainmail is in the worse shape. His attire is covered in his own blood and he has left to much of himself on the battle field of -Serenity-

The three survived the battle to which an evil army destroyed when their queen sacrificed herself to slay their war general. The brother would retreat though the middle brother attempted to stay and fight when he was struck down by an arrow in the stomach. The brothers did what they could to save him, though it has been three days and they are well out of water and far from hope..

Bitter and disgusted they move on through this bitter heat. Each step reminds them of someone they loved is now gone, each second has them cursing the sun. Every move hurts, they grow tired, nost of all they worry they may lose another brother before the days end. ......

To be continued...
please let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions

 

Lol I wrote this on the go at 5am in the morning. Story is in my head and basic lay out is on paper lol still just my unedited story. More to come if I decide I like this lay out.