I like it a lot plz add name:Shadow(real name unknown) weapons:Shadowspirit*, mag bombs** power:Control of shadows(makes shields and shadow beasts) *a sword that shatters victims soul, putting them in an eternal coma(some recover though) **disrupts electronics and magnetics destroy local magnetic field, rendering gravity ramdom and changing Apearanceark brown close to black hair, 5'7", straight almost military posture, light skinned bio: parents killed by shadows when he is 5. in an attemp to avenge them, he is defeated but somehow gains control personality: somewhat dark and cold but warms as you get to know him. i hope you use him
I like the story and the way it's written, it's clear you put a lot of work into it and never just blurted out a story, and it's definitely interesting. However Big words might make you look smart... But they actually make you look stupid if you know what I mean. And it really takes away from the story. Some of the sentance structure is a little hard to follow and some words get repetitive ("he" in particular") It's just some constructive criticism, I really do like the story.