Design in Malice

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Bloodscale, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. Iffy title, but I got stuck a little. Anyways, first story outside of those little things you had to write in elementary school. Anyways, here you go. Hope you enjoy.
    ___________________

    Prologue

    It was all Jason could do to keep his gun pointed in the general direction of the door. He glanced down at his torso, and the streak of blood he had left from the door to propped up against a wall, where he was now. A cough sent his vision spinning for a couple moments.

    Beside him, a woman lay slumped in a half-unconscious, half-asleep reverie. As he heard the distant clatter of footsteps, he raised the gun at chest height of the door. Trying to ignore the shaking of his hands, he prodded the woman awake.

    "Come on, Val. It's time," he said weakly, as she feebly pushed herself into an upright position, drawing her own pistol. "We tried our best."

    The footsteps got closer and closer. The two cycled rounds into the chamber and pointed, using the other to steady their aim. The door was kicked open, and they squeezed the trigger.
     
  2. Also, any comments, feel free to post here until I state otherwise. If it gets any traffic I'll make a separate feedback thread. Enjoy.
    _________________

    Ninety Days Ago

    Agent Pax Williams strode down the blank white corridor with some urgency. Brushing past two guards in P-Suits, he entered the captain's cabin. In a chair lounged Captain Eters. "You wished to see me, sir?"

    "Yes, Williams, sit down." The captain pushed a chair at him, and the agent sat. The captain pushed a video screen towered him, that showed a paused video. From the screen, Williams saw it was a still from a P-Suit's helmet camera.

    "We've got a situation, son. We lost some crucial data that is required to keep the war effort rolling. Now, watch this video, and you'll see what we need you and your team to do."

    Pax glanced at the screen as it began to play.

    •••••••••••••••

    Jason moved forward, rifle up. Beside him were five others, spread out in a U formation. Each was slowly searching each little nook and cranny of the area they were in. A loud crunch sounded as Jason tread on some glass.

    The bombed-out building looked hardly livable. The hulking automated soldiers would make anyone who was living stop, either way. The massive P, or Power Suits were top of the line war apparel.

    As war against Russia stretched into the twenty-eighth century, America had made a massive breakthrough. Armored suits powered with immense amounts of energy. Each was outfitted with their own miniature nuclear plant, to keep it running.

    Although nukes had been banned in the twenty-second after America bombarded China into a radioactive ocean, the suits could be remote detonated to replicate the effects, if needed.

    Now, in the thirty-third century, technology was even further advanced. Using a crystal found on some rare planets, suits were now nuclear free, and a hundred times more powerful. Although America had conquered Earth, Russians were still hiding on some hidden planets.

    They had gotten there with starships, a recent innovation. Armored ships that sailed the stars. Humans already had many planets colonized and humanity was spreading.

    However, the Russian survivors didn't just go away. Over hundreds of years later they emerged again by taking over a planet, Dextry V. The Russian army had recuperated and was set on defeating the well-entrenched America.

    Not set enough. Jason was standing on Dextry V, a part of the massive scale invasion. It broke the record of L-Day, Liberation Day, when America first invaded Europe and Asia and Africa all at once. Now, they invaded the whole planet.

    Finally, the squad reached a reinforced door. Over their helmet radios, the leader of the squad spoke. "Alright. This should be the Czar's office. He's going to be well protected, most likely. On three, we'll breach. Kill the guards, NOT the bloody Czar."

    The squad hit the affirmative command, and Jason glanced over at his sister Valentine. She nodded slightly, and sent him a thumbs up. Jason was still surprised how tough she was, despite being a bit of a crybaby as a kid. His thoughts were interrupted.

    "One! Two! Three!" A small detonation threw the door off its frame and suddenly everything was on fire.
     
  3. Seems pretty nice. Bravo. All I can say is maybe longer posts.

    Also, don't be disappointed if only a few more people give feedback. We have people in FF, but rarely any of them give feedback.
     
  4. Okay, cool, I was worried they'd be too long for iPod readers (decent sized in my Notes) so I'll kick it up a notch, thanks for the tip.

    And I guess whoever has a comment can just post here anytime then.
     
  5. I would like to see more. This is a good quality story on FanFic, one of the better ones we've seen in a while byfar.

    I think it's a good plot, keep it going!
     
  6. Alright, thanks. I'll have something new up soon.
     
  7. Bravo, this is really decent
     
  8. Thanks for all the support, guys! Like always, enjoy.
    _________________
    Pax glanced up at the captain. "I don't understand, sir." Eters sighed, and poured himself a small glass of alcohol.

    "Apparently the room was rigged. When our team got there, the room was fine, it was the HALL that was detonated. But in the rubble, we only found three bodies. Out of a team of six."

    Pax stopped. "You mean... Three got away, but didn't report?" Ethers nodded. Agent Pax Williams blinked. "Then ... What happened?"

    •••••••••••••••

    Jason coughed as his suit filtered dust out of his helmet. He groaned several times, looking around in the haze. "Val!" he shouted over the comm. There was no reply. He sat up in a daze, vision blurring for a moment. "Val?"

    There was movement off to the left, and then noise. "I'm... Alright, I think. Suit's running a diagnostic." Jason fumbled through the rubble, coming up with a rifle bent at a thirty degree angle. "Sidearm it is," he coughed.

    He keyed the tranq button on his suit and some pain went away. "Suit, run diagnostic," he said. In the right hand corner of viewscreen, a 3D model of his body came up. Jason looked over it quickly.

    "That's not good," he muttered. With several broken bones and internal bleeding, he wouldn't last soon.

    He forced himself up, ignoring the burning pain. In a moment his sister was up too. "How bad you hit?" Jason asked. She shrugged, and moved upwards the previously trapped doorway. There was movement inside.

    The pair burst into the room to see a squadmate without a P-Suit helmet on. All three lowered the guns they had drawn as one.

    "Mark, why didn't you respond?" Jason asked. The other man wiped some blood from his nose. "Busted. I took some shrapnel straight into it. Got lodged up in the wiring."

    Jason shrugged, then gasped in pain. "All right, find... Find the data file. I'll report to..." and suddenly the world was sideways. Confused for a moment, Jason realized he was on the ground. Then he passed out.
     
  9. Continue plz
     
  10. I like this a LOT. No complaints so far. Keep it coming!
     
  11. Alright, cool. Glad to be getting such positive reactions. I'll write as quickly as possible.
     
  12. Its awesome keep doing it
     
  13. Hey, great job my friend, your writing comes from a unique perspective/s and flow brilliantly. I look forward to more.
     
  14. Last one for tonight! Too sleepy to keep good grammar and punctuation. Like always, enjoy!
    ______________________

    Eters shrugged. "Two things. They were captured, and are likely tortured until they spill military secrets. Or, they lived, and escaped, but somehow can't report."

    Pax narrowed his eyes. "Or, they got the data file themselves and decided to sell it back to the Russians."

    The captain laughed. "You're pretty paranoid for a spook. I guess that's why you're an agent though. Nah, they were good troops. I looked at their psych reports." Pax rubbed his forehead.

    "We'll keep all options open. What do you figure happens next, with either of the two routes where they don't die?"

    •••••••••••••••

    Jason opened his eyes to the floor moving. Looking up, he saw Valentine and Mark dragging him along. "Guys, I'm up," he said weakly, and stood on his own strength.

    "Good, we need an extra gun. We got the data file but there are Russians looking everywhere for us. We got hit a couple blocks back but managed to fight them off. Here." Valentine handed him a battered rifle.

    Jason grabbed it, and cycled a round into the chamber. "I feel a lot better," he mumbled. Mark nodded, "Yeah. We stabilized you long enough for the suit to patch you up a little."

    With a nod, Jason took point, "So... If we escaped, how come Russians attacked us? What happened to our troops?" He eyed a bombed building off to the side. The entire city he had seen so far appeared to be destroyed or burning.

    Valentine seemed to wince. "That's the problem. The Russians were ready. In the week the Russians had before the response team arrived, they dug in. We lost thousands in the first day. Casualties got so high, Command pulled out."

    Jason groaned. "Let me guess. They left us behind, even with their precious data file?" Valentine nodded, and Jason kicked in a crumbling stone wall.

    The sound of marching boots interrupted his little anger fit. The three froze, raising rifles. Suddenly aware of his surroundings, Jason realized they were in an alley. One way sent them out in the main streets, the other into the ghettoes.

    He couldn't tell from which way the boots were coming from. Frozen in indecision for a moment, he hit the mic button. "Deeper into the alley!"

    The three moved as silently as one possibly could in a half-ton war machine. Within minutes the twisting turns of the back alleyways got them lost. Finally, as Jason found himself yawning, he made another decision.

    "We need to find a place to rest. I'm running of fumes." With acknowledgement from his sister and Mark, they decided on the easy way, and found a shack.

    Jason kicked in the door, nearly ripping it off the hinges. Nobody, luckily, was inside. "Barricade the door and then let's get some rest. Be sure to set your suit on repair and medicate before you sleep, though."

    Working quickly and efficiently, the house was soon semi secure. Jason changed the settings on his battered suit, and closed his eyes. Mark was on first watch, so it would be fine to rest for a while.
     
  15. *applauds* I like the storyline! Keep going
     
  16. "So you think they ditched the suits and got medical help?" Pax asked. Eters nodded, a small smile on his face. The agent shook his head.

    "No, I don't think so. They were deep in territory and could be easily recognized as a non-Russian. I bet they hid out in some abandoned house that wasn't too destroyed."

    Eters sighed. "Well, Agent, how about YOU explain what happened next, then."

    Pax shrugged. "If you want me to, Captain. However, haste is no doubt required. Even if we can't fully trace their steps mentally, we need their little file back. We may have to do physical dirty work."

    Eters laughed. "Not me, Williams. It's your little team that will go groundside. My cruiser will be duking it out with their little junky ships."

    Pax shrugged, "Well, maybe you can sent a little contingent of marines with me as well. Either way, before I start, how far are we to Dextry V?"

    The captain shrugged. "A day, maybe less. We've got plenty of time, even accounting for the rest your team will need. Now start explaining."

    •••••••••••••••

    Jason awoke instantly when he was shook. He looked up into his sister's eyes. "Your watch," she said tiredly. Jason nodded, picking up his rifle and moving to stand near the door.

    "Get some rest, Val." She moved down to the wall, slumping over in an instant sleep. Jason peered through a crack in the wall. Daylight. The sun was just rising.

    "It's better we move about at night anyways," he decided quietly in his own helmet. Breathing in the metallic-quality air that tasted like bronze due to his air scrubbers in the suit, Jason suddenly longed fresh air.

    With a hiss and a snap, he disengaged his helmet from the rest of the suit, and inhaled deeply. He looked at the cracked mirror on the wall, rubbing his head gently with a powered gauntlet. He needed a haircut; his blonde hair was nearly at a length that it could be combed.

    A sudden sound from outside made him pause and slip the helmet back on. He cycled on infrared vision, and saw multiple forms outside. Those weapons in hand didn't appear to make them friendly. There were at least two dozen. More than the wounded three could handle.

    "Squad! Up!" he yelled in his mic, the helmet silencing the sound to the outside world. The other two shot up noisily and Jason winced. The barricaded door rattled with the Russian's effort to bust in. Mark set to kicking in a wall, hoping to break a second way out.

    Valentine and Jason lowered their guns at the door. If Mark didn't get them an escape route, they would be sure to take as many with them as possible.

    With a sudden crashing sound, the door burst open at the same time as the wall crumbled. Gunfire and smoke filled the air, and a strident cry of pain filled the air. Female. Valentine.

    "No!" screamed Jason, reaching out quickly. He grabbed her and threw her back, out through the hole in the wall. A loud boom sounded and Jason knew what happened: armor piercing, Anti P-Suit gun. Made to kill soldiers like him.

    He dove out of the door, a bullet from a APS gun clipped his leg. Biting back pain as some of the suit automatically adjusted to cover the open wound, he flung himself out of the wall opening.

    "Alleys!" he yelled. Jason was quickly followed by the other two. He glanced at Mark. "When did you get another helmet?"

    "Before we left where we were trapped, I found the squad leader's. Now's not the time, keep running!" Rounding a corner, they came upon fork in the road.

    "Split! Mark, give me the file." The other soldier tossed the chip at Jason, who snatched it and put it in his helmet slot. He grabbed Valentine and ran to the left, and Mark went right. Only one or two pairs of pounding feet followed them from what Jason heard. He rounded a corner and skidded to a halt, waiting for the soldiers.

    They came around the corner, with APS guns. Jason punched the first one in the throat and he went down. Valentine shot twice. "We need to keep moving," she said, panic and pain lacing her tone.
     
  17. Hey guys, or girls, thanks for reading. I hope you are enjoying my story.
    _______________
    "So you figure they split up, trying to use stealth to get us the file?" Eters queried. Agent Pax nodded, sliding the psych report folders to the captain

    "Yes. They were all extremely loyal soldiers, they would have tried, according to YOUR intelligence report," Pax said unconvincingly. Eters let out a tired sigh.

    He continued. "Still we must keep hold the idea that they went renegade. There's one thing I can't puzzle out, though, Captain. Why didn't they ever report to command of they didn't steal the file? We could have evac'd them in a moment."

    Eters lowered his eyes. "The Russians jammed our comm frequencies. No contact on our channels for a good forty-eight hours. By then we pulled out and they would have been stuck, initially counted as KIA. Only the little stealth team that went for the file a few days ago realized some lived."

    Pax scowled. "Those Russians. We should have killed them during the Cold War." The captain looked up.

    "You know your history, I see, Agent. Either way, we need to guess what they did next. About nineteen hours until we arrive," said Eters, "now, let me tell you what I figure happened next."

    •••••••••••••••

    Jason pulled his sister along. "Come on. We'll need to tell Mark where to meet up once he loses his pursuit."

    Valentine nodded. "Yeah. I know! We should--" Gunfire split the air, the quiet night going loud for several moments. It was also coming from Mark's general direction.

    Jason raced ahead, his injured sister only letting her wound hold her a little behind. Crashing through a flimsy fence with guns raised, they came upon an alley. A dead end, with fresh bloodstains in several places, both where Mark would have been standing, and where the Russians would have.

    "We're too late," Valentine said in a quiet voice. Jason hit the mic and called out for him. A small noise in the dark corner of the alley gave him pause. He hit his helmet flashlight, illuminating the place.

    A blood-spattered helmet sat in the corner, lights still on. Jason disengaged his helmet with a snap-hiss, and put on the bloody one with a slight flinch. Even the inside was splattered. He wiped it down with a nearby tattered piece of paper and put it on.

    "Suit, playback most recent camera file."

    His screen changed. Mark was limping along down the alley, and turned a corner. A dead end. The helmet cam almost didn't pick up the slightly-audible curse Mark muttered. The soldier had spun, backing up while aiming at the entrance to the dead end, not even noticing the way off to he side he could have escaped from.

    Then, Russians came around the corner. Jason saw the dangerous looking APS gun in their hands as they opened fire. After several seconds of the loud noise, Mark's helmet went spinning off his head, and landed in the corner.

    Jason cursed. It was pointed at the wall. He couldn't see anything from what happened after the helmet was hit. With the satisfying sound of the helmet being taken off, he removed the layer of armor, and put on his own.

    He reached inside the helmet, finding it's own little data storage file, and took it. No point in destroying it, or giving it to the enemy.

    Jason looked over to his sister. "We just have to hope he lived somehow." Neither looked very optimistic.
     
  18.  Like it, continue. Better than most stories on FF, congrats 
     
  19. "No, I don't think any of them died, Captain. They are too good for that to occur, I believe." Pax rubbed his eyes, lack of sleep getting to him.

    "Captain, we need to wrap this up. I'm going planetside soon, and it's hostile territory." Captain Eters just shrugged.

    "I'm also being forced to stay on site and battle it out with several Russian gunships. You can cry on my shoulder afterwards. Go ge your rest, Agent. There is nothing more we can figure out. We'll have to find it on the ground."

    Pax stood up, stretching. "Well, then, Captain. I'll see you on the morrow." Re-assuming his straight position, he strode from the room.

    "Spook," muttered the captain.

    •••••••••••••••

    "No." Jason sighed inwardly. His sister could be so bloody stubborn. Honestly, he figured she had a little bit more sense.

    "Val, if we ditch the suits, we fit in one hundred times better. We can keep them a few more nights as doctors, but we stand out. Either way, we need to find shelter for the night."

    Valentine let out her own sigh. "Okay. What's on that data file anyways?" Jason shrugged, and moved deeper into the downtown area of where they were. After a couple minutes of walking, they encounter a few standing buildings.

    With a nudge from Valentine's shoulder, the door was popped open. Following their little barricading procedure, soon all the furniture was blocking the door. It wasn't until it was all moved that they realized that there was a man standing very, very still in the corner.

    "Oh God... Please don't hurt me," he cried out suddenly. The two siblings exchanged looks. Jason then spoke, "We aren't going to hurt you ."

    The unknown man still cowered in the corner. "You Russians! I don't know how you coerced Americans to track me, but I won't give up names for the Revolution!" He appeared to be talking to himself.

    "We aren't Russians. We're American soldiers," said Valentine comfortingly. Jason glared angrily at her. This man could just be a spy or something. But he paused.

    "Am... Americans? No, I don't believe you! Show me your faces." With the hiss and snap, Valentine took off her helmet, and Jason followed her example with a sigh.

    The man looked them over suspiciously. "You look American, and sound American. Plus the American P-Suits... I guess I can trust you. A little."

    Jason nodded. "So... What is this Revolution that you're talking about?" The man looked extremely excited suddenly.

    "Firstly, my name is Shade. Not my real name, of course, but it's a secret! This is a transfer house. Every other day or two people would ask to spend the night and be gone by the morning.

    "I stayed up one night and found out behind my mirror was a secret door. It led to a base, a Rev base. They are a group of people who are going to oppose the Russians on Dextry even after the Americans leave.

    "It was started by some of your CIA guys who landed on-planet. Lots of people are still loyal to Earth despite Russia's iron fist takeover. We are going to begin strikes soon!"

    He inhaled deeply, having barely taken any breaths during his speech. Jason looking him over. "Can we go to the base you were talking about?"

    Shade paused, looking at the two suspiciously. "You two sure are interested in this Revolution," he said "you can go see them. Let me get you some food, first, though..."

    He moved over to his fridge. Jason glanced at Valentine, confused. This man was extremely odd. He looked back at him in time to see him spin with a pistol in hand.

    "Die, filthy Russians!" he screamed, squeezing the trigger. A red hot line traced itself over Jason's face, a graze. In a lightning flash his sister had her gun out, Jason right behind her.

    For several moments intense gunfire filled the small house. What looked like a peaceful and quaint home was now a small warzone.

    After a few intense seconds, Jason peered a bit over the flipped table he was using as cover, and a bullet whizzed over his head. He scrambled back down and looked for a moment. There!

    His helmet was across the room where he had dropped it. He raised his heavily armored forearms, covering his face, and moved towards the helmet. Bullets pinged off and to the side.

    He reached it, and kicked it behind the overturned sofa where Valentine, lacking a helmet as well, crouched. Ducking behind cover, he slipped it on, sealed his suit, and stood.

    Shade had several bullet wounds, but was still standing, and definitely still shooting. A bullet bounced directly off his faceplate, and Jason had had enough.

    He shot three times, a tight cluster over the insane rebel, dropping him. Valentine stood up. "Oh, hell..." She looked off to the side, going to her own helmet.

    "Well... Two options here. Do we go to this Revolution, possibly get out this hellhole, and blame Shade's death on the Russians... Or further into the ghettoes?"