Death Beings FEEDBACK

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -Xx-Last-Of-The-Lost-xX-, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Alright u know the drill replywhat u thought of it. Dont worry there will be lots more if u like it.
     
    #1 -Xx-Last-Of-The-Lost-xX-, Feb 23, 2012
  2. Use paragraphs and more punctuation.
    It was ok but it also got kinda confusing and annoying to read, mostly due to that, I guess.
     
    #2 *THP_I_I__Lerjjx__I_I_THP (01), Feb 23, 2012
  3. Ehh....needs better punctuation. It didn't really make sense, and it needs some clarification. Other that that, it's pretty good.









    Don't worry, I'm teh Simon Cowell of dis stuff.
     
    #3 -DaveStrider-, Feb 24, 2012
  4. lol yeah for some reason my alterations didn't post and that does make it confusing. also for some reason: it won't indent!!
     
    #4 -Xx-Last-Of-The-Lost-xX-, Feb 26, 2012
  5. The forums don't like the space at the start of a line. Just skip a line

    like this.
     
    #5 -DaveStrider-, Feb 27, 2012
  6. wow I an so unrecognized arent i?
     
    #6 -Xx-Last-Of-The-Lost-xX-, Feb 28, 2012
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