Disclaimer: This is a branch of the Writer's Cafe, specifically devoted to reviews for books, both in Fan Fic and the Real World. All members banned from the Writer's Cafe are banned here as well. If they show up, ignore them. I will ask them to leave. Do not talk to them - at all. Well, I've decided to become a critic, as well as a writer. You can rant and curse at me on Feather's Critique Feedback. I'll begin criticizing when I get my iPod back because I'm sneaking on at the moment.
A Raven Among the Doves, Part One Critique One: August Second, 2011, 11:24 PM current time I begin writing this. Disclaimer: I am entitled to my opinion. I do not own the thread A Raven Among the Doves. All feedback on this critique must be posted on the feedback thread: Feather's Critique Feedback ARAD Part One had a shaky beginning, as quoted by both the author herself and iZaln, the esteemed writer of several stories here in Fan Fiction. The story soon took off and attracted the attention of several of the most prominent members of Fan Fiction. ^I guess she meant opinion.^ The following is very long. So many plot twists happened in Part One it's unbelievable! Nana dying. Anala dreaming of Morius. He joining the Group. The Osnakhan. The death of Cassandra. I was instantly captivated by this ravaging portrayal of a girl who has a secret. It's a Pretty Little Liars moment! Summary: Anala was forced to participate in the puerile endeavors of those mediocre minds which are the Group. She was forced to say fraudulent statements and pretend to be a dolt so she could one day avenge Nana and take revenge on the Illistraee. I suggest she use a hopocorism on Zac, or make a love interest, because I feel the story lacks that sexy vibe and zeal. ~Feather
A Changing Personality, Part One: Prologue-Chapter 16 Critique Two: September 5, 2011, 11:56 AM current time I begin writing this. Disclaimer: I am entitled to my opinion. I do not own the thread A Changing Personality. All feedback on this critique must be posted on the feedback thread: Feather's Critique Feedback ACP started off weird. Double posts within a post, you name it. It was a colossal mess. I didn't approve of the recount. In my opinion, it just helped procrastinators. I soon fell in love with the story, though. It taught me loads about girls. The way their minds work. All that good stuff. I liked the way the author used imagery to appeal to the five senses, though you should've described your environment through thoughts, action, and dialogue, not describing it flat out. She didn't use a lot of taste, though. Her main sense was sight, followed by touch, then hearing, then smell, then taste. I suggest you use more imagery. Instantly, she put in a love interest. Torn between two lovers, Lailah turned sleazy. Running back and forth, cheating, manipulating, hunting. What psychological toll did this take on the boys? I like how defiant and rebellious Lailah is. Using her wits to outsmart her enemies. What I don't like: Blake. Blake disgusts me. I don't want him to end up with Lailah. I think she should be with Nick. All this running back and forth, switching teams every chapter, really aggravates me. Like seriously. Lailah is a sluthole. I think there is a little to much sexual drama going on in ACP. I suggest a mental breakdown a male character experiences to tie the story together. _________________________________________________ I know this critique was under par but that's what I think of the story. What's above is what I see in the story. I think the author should balance the amount of excitement with sorrow. ~Feather
The following is a review of: Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments Series, Book One: City of Bones Clarissa (Clary) Fray’s life has been a complete and total lie. She begins to see strange things – things other people can’t see. They, the people she can now suddenly see, call this gift the Sight. Her first experience, that she can remember seeing these paranormal things, occurred at a club called Pandemonium in New York City. She saw a demon be murdered by Shadowhunters, a race known as the Nephilim. She is plunged headfirst into the Shadow World, a world filled with Lilith’s Children, Los Niño’s de la Luna, Faeries, and other mythical creatures. They’re known as Downworlders, creatures that aren’t demons, but aren’t people, either. Soon after her first encounter with the Shadow World, her mother is ripped away from her by a cruel man known as Valentine. Then, Luke, who she thought of as an Uncle, says something about her mother that sparks a deep hatred for him: “I don’t care what happens to her.” He said this to two warlocks, not knowing Clary was there. Clary learns that her memories were hidden by a powerful Downworlder – Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. This was upon request by her mother, Jocelyn. Jocelyn didn’t want Clary to know anything about the Shadow World, so every two years, her mother takes her back to Magnus Bane so he can renew the spell. The spell causes her to forget any knowledge of the Shadow World she may gain, even as she is seeing, hearing, or experiencing it. One such event happened when she was a kid. She was picking on faeries outside their home, so her mother took her to Magnus instantly. That started the cycle. The block in her mind was so powerful, even the Silent Brothers couldn’t get past it. Her search for the Mortal Cup begins shortly after one of her memories returns, but is brought to a standstill as soon as it began. She begins to think that she is destined to have everyone she ever loved ripped away from her when her best friend, Simon, sees her kissing her love interest, Jace, and reveals that he has loved her for ten years. After that, Simon was through with her, or so it seems. Then, Jace gets kidnapped by Valentine! It appears that whoever she loves – whether romantic, familial, or friendly – always gets destroyed in some way or another. The Mortal Instruments, Book One: City of Bones was worth the read. Plot twists kept me so engrossed in the book, nearly every turn of events had me gasping. Cassandra Clare didn’t overdo the plot twists, but she certainly put them in there. The first thing I enjoyed about reading [the] City of Bones is how Cassandra Clare really made me connect emotionally with Clary and the characters. My empathy with these characters was very prominent, and this was due in part by her embellishing emotional details. She created a sense of despair in the part where Clary’s mom got stolen, and several other lugubrious events in the book. Something I didn’t anticipate was Cassandra’s impeccable vocabulary. I am a very zealous and passionate reader, but I had to pull out the dictionary on some of these words. Her descriptions had just enough voluptuosity in some areas, but lacked embellishment or suffered from over embellishment in others. One thing that fascinated me about the book was one of its characters: The treacherous tutor known as Hodge Starkweather. I, like him, love knowledge. That’s where my preferences for him end. Hodge, in a sudden turn of events, betrayed both his students and his integrity. I hated that Hodge had to be the one to turn villain, but it was a necessity for the continuity of then story, and the advancement of the plot as a whole. It allowed for a plot twist later on and even more deception to occur. Each of the main Shadowhunters in the book has experienced a major tragedy in their life in the book, and when you add Clary to the mix, it just creates an even more chaotic environment. Chaos is a key element in the book, though, and I’m glad that Cassandra Clare knew how to control it to where it made the book have just enough finesse and edge to keep me hooked. I am ready for the next book in the series. I would recommend this book to anyone.