Code Not Recognized - Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by cheesemuffin, Dec 9, 2011.

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  1. Hey Guys! C%€#e Here! Here, you can write fe$db#%k to my story, Code Not R€%//$€::::
    Error:
    Error:
    Error:
     
    #1 cheesemuffin, Dec 9, 2011
  2. Cool, seems like a very nice idea/base for a story. The only problem was the beginning. It was very confusing but things cleared up after that. So good job!
     
    #2 Storallelite, Dec 9, 2011
  3. Reminds me of a mix of the beginning of my story and assassins creed's animus.
     
    #3 Bremen, Dec 9, 2011
  4. It's very cool and tech-y, which I like ;)
    I was immediately pulled into the story and I can't WAIT for the next chapter :D
    Oh, and you write tech stuff very well :D
     
    #4 *OkamiAmaterasu (01), Dec 9, 2011
  5. Bremen, I did steal some animus-like things
     
    #5 cheesemuffin, Dec 9, 2011
  6. Re: Code Not Recognized

    interesting. Very...
     
    #6 *-Happy_Gilmore- (01), Dec 9, 2011
  7. Seems like the matrix. :3 it's awesome.
     
    #7 *-Happy_Gilmore- (01), Dec 9, 2011
  8. I enjoyed it so far. Really push your descriptions. Allow the reader to see, feel, and smell what's happening in your world you are creating. The easier the reader can slip into your world the more they will want to stay in it. Keep writing, and write what your mind tells you too. In the world of the writer there are no rules to follow so ignore any limitations you may feel exist. A tool that helps me is stopping periodically, closing my eyes, and really envisioning what is happening in the story. The trick is making that exist in text. Keep it up and good luck!
     
    #8 *DoomRyder (01), Dec 9, 2011
  9. What's up with all these Cerberus Facilities in your stories? Just wondering :)

    I like the story ;)
     
    #9 FeatherHunter, Dec 9, 2011
  10. Well, I just wrote about Cerberus in that one story (Fading Fast), and since then, I just stuck with it.

    LIEK.

    A.

    BAWSS.
     
    #10 cheesemuffin, Dec 10, 2011
  11. New chapter soon! I've been playing Assassin's Creed Revelations, finally beat it. My mind is beyond blown.

    Anyways, I also perfected a Minecraft exp farm, and started building a great library.

    I hope you're all looking forward to this chapter, I'll introduce a new character!
     
    #11 cheesemuffin, Dec 11, 2011
  12. So Revelations was good? I'm thinking about buying it :)

    And I can't WAIT for the next chapter :D
     
    #12 *OkamiAmaterasu (01), Dec 11, 2011
  13. Yay! :3
     
    #13 *-Happy_Gilmore- (01), Dec 11, 2011
  14. EPICALLY AWESOME!!! I'd like to see what's next. Already full of odd, half-baked ideas as to what happens if you plug 2 sentient beings as well as an animal and an uber-complex hivemind into the system all at once...
     
    #14 *nedben (01), Dec 12, 2011
  15. ^not what I was planning, but I have a new idea now. Thanks. :D
     
    #15 cheesemuffin, Dec 12, 2011
  16. Really good plot line and start to a story. You introduced it well and made your readers feel like they were in the story. Must agree- you make your readers touch, feel, hear and smell what's happening. Keep up the awesome writing. 

    PS. You seem to start from a computer's view but switch to third person(Jason). Is that suppose to happen?
     
    #16 *pingone (01), Dec 12, 2011
  17. ^Yes.
     
    #17 cheesemuffin, Dec 12, 2011
  18. SLAV- Fellow FanFicers!

    You have one hour to read the latest chapter before I post today's new one!
     
    #18 cheesemuffin, Dec 12, 2011
  19. What happens if we destroy the power plant with a nuke and destroy all "contaminated" system resources? Will it go Code Lyoko style and forcibly alter reality? O_O :D
     
    #19 *nedben (01), Dec 13, 2011
  20. I offer speculative questions. If they are answered depends on the answerer's whims.
     
    #20 *nedben (01), Dec 13, 2011
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