I can no longer continue my story (or even edit it) because I am waaay too busy in my studies. I have a lot of grammatical errors here which I can't edit, but if this thread is still present in summer, then maybe I can continue and edit it. ==================================== Prologue "Who are you to say an atrocious word in front of the greatest king in the land where you are standing right now?" The king shouted at the accused little girl in his front. The little girl stood straight like a hard post as the king ended his sentence. Everybody just stood straight and watched the hapless faith of the poor little girl. They can't do anything, neither to protect her nor stop the king from doing his injustice will. The little girl shook her head with her hair hanging down at her side like those uncanny vines, covering her dirty face while her body still stood straight, showing him her brave. No one dared to speak a word, nor to make a single sound that will break the silence that surrounds the whole castle, as if, everyone will meet their end whenever they did so. The tempered king walk around the little girl and he examined her. As always, old clothes that can be mistakenly known as rugs, a long, black hair that makes her almost looks like a ghost, with a dirty skin that makes her really look like a beggar. The king smirked and said, "I hadn't seen a brave, little, poor girl who had such brave to stand in front of me and shout like a brave lion. I wonder if make makes you to stand still, nor be brave in my front." His deep old voice withstands the soldier's brave, even his right-hand person are scared to see his terror. All of this, my explanation and my vocabulary cannot explain their great fear as the king say every word that echos through the castle's halls. Only her, only that little, poor girl can stand still and even stare the king with her angry eyes. This surprised the king since the bravest knight was even scared of his deadly stare. After the king walked around her, he stand in front of her and stared at her creepy eyes. Her right eye can clearly be seen since her hair hadn't cover it up, which make her look more scarier, much like a ghost if you imagine. The king bowed a little just to level the little girl's eyes. "Did you know if why all of the people in my kingdom scared of me, little girl?" the king asked as the little girl raise her head and stare with the king. Upon staring, the little girl saw something, something moving in his eyes, as if they dance like a blazing fire. "Can you see it little girl? Can you see the blazes dancing gracefully, like every flicker looks like a soft, imaginary touch?" the king asked once more as the little girl saw the transformation of the fire in his pupils from burning usually to burning and whipping with a silent stash of the fire. The little girl cannot believe if. How can the fire move like that? And how can there be a fire in his eyes? Was it inside of his pupils? Or was it just her imagination from being terrified? Many questions popped up as the little girl saw the strange fire. But the curiosity never stops here. The king smiled at the little girl but the little child didn't even notice his facial expressions as she continually watch the fire in his terrible eyes. Her heart beat faster as she heard his voice slightly changing as he said every word. "Did you know if what am I? Did you know if what can I do to you? To all of the people in this castle? Or even the castle itself?!" the voice grew louder and deeper as she stepped back and watch his transformation. There's something that was growing in his back but that didn't take long as it tear his clothes right away and it reveal his huge bat-like wings. Then he grew bigger and bigger, his hands became longer and his nails growing larger like a giant claw, and the same as his feet. While his body grew bigger as well until it tore away his clothes and reveal his skin that became darker as his body grew larger. His face turn darker as well but he eventually grew a snout that grew bigger as the same as his body. His body didn't stop growing until he reached the roof of the castle. All of the people inside tried to run away from him but since they need to stay in their duty, they tried to stand still and they tried to stop their feet from running away, while the little girl step a meter away from where she was before as she watch the king turn into a dragon. The girl seemed to expected this, there are many rumors that the king was a Vedrogan. No one knows if they are just a half-human and a half-dragon or a normal human that can transform into a dragon at their will. Many pheasants thought this to be unreal but it seems that they would regret to say that since the king can turn into a very, scary black dragon with his eyes and claws surrounded by a violet fire. His scales were as dark as the night sky and as hard as gold. His claws were as white as ivory and as big as his throne. His teeth were like the sharpest sword she had ever seen. And his eyes, his eyes are as dark as blood. Even the royal servants didn't know his secret. All they know is that they should continually work in their duty or they will be punished severely. "Are you scared little girl? Is it because my claws were way too sharp? Or is it because my eyes were like a nightmare, isn't it?" She wasn't very surprised of his transformation, but she is more scared than surprised actually. But she cannot believe more when she noticed the sudden change of his tone when he said the word "nightmare", as if, he knew that she saw it, she saw that eyes before, not in a nightmare, but in her vision...
Re: The Flaming sword =================================== Chapter 1 Introduction "Here we go again..." he whispered as he saw the same surroundings before. He was standing in a desert, an endless desert. But unlike the same desert you have seen before, its sand was black, like the whole place was in fire a long time ago. The skies were filled with dark clouds, but there's no rain nor thunder to be heard. The place was quiet, since he was the only human in that place. The only different in that desert is that, sometimes there will be a dragon coming out from the sand, sometimes, there are ghosts that came from every direction from the sand. He fought every monster that came from the ground. It became different every time the new day passes. There are times were there are nagas, griffon, vampires, giant spiders, sirens, mummies, almost every kind of monster will come up every night. He was used to it. The only thing that he doesn't like about it is that sometimes he lose in the next monster that will come up. But he wasn't angry about it, if he win, he win, that's just simple for him. It just really annoyed him whenever his enemy enjoys his defeated look. But something is different. This time, there were no monster that came from the sands. He thought that maybe it was just waiting, waiting for him to be impatient. But no, no monster came after a few hours. He wondered why did there's no sign of any living thing. He looked around, but he just saw nothing, but an endless horizon. And suddenly, there's an explosion from the distance. He expected that, that was the beast which he will battle now and then. But nothing, happened after that. He thought that maybe it was walking by now, but since the distance between them is way too far, he just waited for it to come. He just wait, but nothing happened. Then, a strange voice ask him, "Why don't you go there by yourself?" the strange female voice said. He look around and tried to find the source of the strange voice, but he saw nothing. He followed the voice's suggestion, since that was his only option. So he just walk to the explosion, but that didn't take a while for him to run. Very quiet don't you? Well, what do you expect in a place where you are only by yourself? He was just continually running, running in an endless desert. He even didn't know if he was close, nor he didn't know if how far did he go. He continually running, running and - "Dave! Wake up! Are you dreaming again?!" his friend shouted at him while he was shaking his whole body. "Yes I'm awake! May you please don't shake me like a ragdoll next time! You are shaking my brain!" he shouted back in annoyance as he hold his head in confusion. "Well, if that is the only way to wake you up, why don't I?" his friend answered him. He just face to the right and tried to sleep again when his friend exclaimed, "Rise in shine lazy boy." He look up at the sun and sit. They had no tent or a bed so they just sleep at the forest floor. It was comfy anyway since the forest floor was filled with fresh, green grass. He watched his friends waking up as well. They are an adventurers from different places. I'll start the rest of the introduction while the story is going on I guess. His friend called him once more to get up and find some food to hunt. "Come on Dave, I am hungry." He smiled as he heard his friend groaning again. It was Karro Nevarian, the energetic ones and the robin in their group. He likes to eat as what you have thought of his last word, "Hungry", But he wasn't like the one who really, really likes food. He just gets exited whenever its time to eat. "Yes I'm coming hungry Karro." he giggled. They called him "hungry Karro" whenever he wanted to eat. He was Davenial Lacarias by the way, Dave for short. He was the simple one and he was the rogue in their group. All of them knew his strange dream. When its night, they talk about it, and that makes them pretty ready to face the monster that he saw from his experience in battling it. But, of course they wouldn't win at all times. "Hey Vampy, why don't you use your powers to be faster?" Karro exclaimed at him. He was very annoyed whenever he was called in that way. His name was Vamperion Delkariad by the way. He was the serious one and the sorcerer of the group. His first name make his friends call him "Vampy" which he was really annoyed of. "Yes, yes I'm coming hungry Karro." he answered back. Dave just giggle at Vampy's expression whenever someone call him "Vampy" since he was the serious of them. And what do you expect for a serious man to be called in a silly way? Vampy stand up and run to them as they walk and then run away to hunt. The others didn't mind about eating since, they weren't hungry at all. So they just go in separate ways, the other group already search for a town while the other group hunt for their food. It was just a usual for them to separate because, even how far they have been away from each other, they would always find each other like a miracle. The other group travelled far but they didn't see any sign of a village. "I wonder if they can follow us since we have been very far from them by now." the easy-going lad said. He was Dekavio Velcarad, Dev for short. He is the assasin in their group. He was pretty evil since he was an "assasin". "Are you sure that we are really far away from them?" one of them said. He is Herovian Lamina, Hero for short. He is the silent and the strangest of them all. You can already tell that he is strange by looking at his blindfold which he didn't remove unless he was told to. And the weird thing, he wasn't blind at all, his sight was very sharp but it was just a great question for them all to think of. What kind of adventurer he is? They aren't sure at all. Sometimes they thought that he was a sorcerer, but he had the power of a necromancer, but he also had some shamanic powers. No one knows, well, no one care about it anyway. "And how can you say that we aren't far from them blind man?" he asked. He smiled and answered, "Why don't you look behind?" He turn his head around and saw their campfire from the distance, not very far from them. He just groaned and kept quiet from his embarrassment since he has such pride for himself. They sometimes laugh at him when he was wrong since he can't say anything about it. The last one is Maravin Halshei, Vin for short. He is the gentle one in their group and he is a magician. Yes, magician, you can easily tell that by watching one of his clever tricks. He was very great in battling which make them think that he was a sorcerer but since it was made of "Magic", they just call him a magician. You'll notice that he had a Japanese sir name unlike the others. But even him, himself didn't know anything about his parents (except that his father may have a Japanese blood). Back to the road. They continually walk through the path, but they didn't see anything except the nature itself. They just do the same thing again and again, journey through the world, finding mysteries, searching for a proof for every rumor, sell some artifacts in the town, the adventures are the only things that make their journey exciting. But despite of their journey, none of them discover their history. They just met each other bu coincidence, and perhaps join them as well. The present status? Still no sight of any village. They don't have a map so they are more likely "wondering" in the world. But there is something that they were really curious of, and that is, the female shaman. This shaman was different from what they have met, as what the rumor says. Base on the rumor, she knows almost every prophecy, and she can predict the future. No one knows if it was real or not, that rumor just make everyone wonder about it and scatter it more. They have been searching for this shaman for about 5 years, but there is still no sight of such a strange woman...
Re: The Flaming sword Keep writing, Alaissa, bloody critics are everywhere. It needs some polish, however your story is creative and dramatic. Perhaps a little cliche, but thats ok. It sells. I like your character development so far. Dont stop
Re: The Flaming sword I was correcting the bumb above me! Lol. No I'm not jealous of your page and a half forum post story lol :') not at all
Re: The Flaming sword Just check it to a dictionary before replying I actually did... I'm weak at vocabulary so...
Re: The Flaming sword Cliche means plain or lacking of something. She/he meant to say that my story is quite plain but he/she is right anyway...
Re: The Flaming sword I wouldn't wait for another reply I'll just post this now... And.. I'll do every chapter after 1 or 2 days so... Yeah.... That's all.... And don't post when a page reaches 10 replies too...