I've been working on this story for a while now, and I stopped because of school and such. I am thinking about starting it up again. But I need your help! I really need a title for this story, I am no where near finished with it but I have no ideas what so ever so if you have a title idea please post it here. Also, I need some constructive criticism. Please enjoy and tell me what you think! _____________________________________ The pain and agony running through my body, I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. Lying there on the floor as this stranger, this overpowered brute grabbed my children by the collar of their tattered clothes. Dragging them through glass, dirt, and anything that may come in the way. Listening to their screams of terror and pain, as I watched their pale faces thrash about in the hands of this beast. I wished it all could end, I wished we could be back home, having our morning breakfast with my loving wife. Just make all the pain and misery go away. Fearing I would never see my children again, I tried to move my right leg but a sudden sharp pain raced up it causing me to yell in pain. The man abruptly stopped and dropped my children, not moving for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly he turned his head slowly and said " I thought I finished you off , looks like you're still kicking!". This voice, this mans' voice, it is so familiar but I can't tell who it is. He turned the rest of his body towards me, unaware that behind him the children were crawling ever so slowly away. He proceeded to walk towards me, his walk turned into a jog, by the time he got to me he was sprinting. *BAMMMM!* his foot struck my face, flipping me on my back. Leaving me disorientated "You just don't learn Gunther, do ya?" his chuckle roared through emptiness of the room. He turned and started walking away. My eyes slowly closed as the figure grew smaller, and smaller until he vanished. I woke to my nostrils stinging, I could tell it was gasoline but I was unsure why I could smell gasoline. As I forced my eyes open I saw the man drop a gas can and proceeding back in the direction of my children, singing. “The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout" now grasping my children by the collar again,he started dragging them into the back of a van. "down came the rain" he closed the doors to the van and pulled out a match box. Lit one of the matches and sung the last words " and washed the spider out" flicking the match; I watched as the match spiraled through the air, sparking and sizzling. These few seconds felt like eternity, as if god had stopped time and let this moment play forever. The match approached the ground where the gasoline waited eagerly. The match hit the floor sparking the flames to life. The fire raced towards me, a palette of gas barrels lie no more than 5 feet away. Hearing the vans' engine and my childrens' screams as I watched the flames engulf the barrels. I knew this was the end of the road for me. *BOOM!!* the crackle of the fireworks went off. I found myself screaming as I gripped the cool concrete balcony tight. My wife rushed over to me,"What's wrong Honey?" she exclaimed as she placed her hand on my back. "Nothing, it's nothing babe; I was just day dreaming, I'm gonna get some rest." “You don’t want to stay and watch the rest of the fireworks hun?” “No” i said softly as i stared at the concrete pillar that lay ahead of me. I proceeded inside trying to figure this all out. I found my way to the soft sofa, arranged the pillows in a way that suited me. And plopped down on the couch. Before I even knew it I was asleep. My eyes fluttered open. The glare of the sun peaking through the blinds impaired my vision causing me to trip over my own feet as i stumbled out of bed. My body lumbered towards the floor and my face nailed the dresser giving me a nice bloody mouth. I laid there on the floor for a minute trying to grasp what just happened. The taste of copper was prominent in my mouth, my gums were bleeding. I jumped up and rushed into the bathroom to wash my mouth out. The bleeding stopped quickly and I shrugged the incident off. I looked at the clock, 7:13am it read. Realizing work starts at 7:45, I quickly turned the knob to the shower. Watching the water flow from the nozzle I hopped in. By the time I got out it was 7:20am. I threw on a shirt, some pants, and shoes; slung a tie around my neck and barreled down the stairs. I went through the kitchen, grabbed a piece of toast that lay on the counter and a quick sip of Harrison’s orange juice. The cool orange drink felt so refreshing on my rough throat. “Hey daddy!” My son said “That’s my owange juice!”. I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Be good for your mommy okay champ?” “Okay daddy.” “See ya later kiddo.” My son didn’t say anything back he was too busy playing with his food. I grabbed my suitcase and was about to head out the door when my wife stopped me. “Remember I’m dropping the kids off today at daycare because I have to go to town.” she said. “I know.. I know.. don’t forget to pick them up” I said. “You better not Gunther I mean it, that makes us look like bad parents.” I shushed her with a soft kiss and then I proceeded out of the door. I raced to my car completely ignoring the newspaper that lay on the porch. I opened the door to my cadillac, sat in the leather seat and turned the key. At first it wouldn't start but after a few more turns and pushing on the pedals she was purring like the day I bought her. I closed the door, put her in gear then backed out of the driveway and sped off to work. The roads were rather clear of traffic despite it being a Friday. Since there was little traffic I decided to take the highway to try and cut five minutes off of the travel time. I traveled seven miles before I took a off a ramp to the town of Frolo. My cadillac strolled down the smoothly paved roads. Before I reached the edge of the town I remembered I forgot to have coffee this morning. I happened to spot a convenience store down the road a bit. I pulled into the parking lot, shut my car off and got out. As I walked into the store there were newspapers but I figured I would read it later when I got home so I strolled by. I arrived at the coffee machine in the store and picked up a cup. Still only being half awake I hit the normal coffee button instead of the dark coffe. It didn't really matter to me so I payed for the coffee anyway. I then walked past the newspapers and out the store doors to my car. Pulling out my key and opening the door. I set my coffee down in the center column, put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car started right up this time, put it in gear and got back onto the road to work. Shortly after exiting the town I drove over a bump in the road causing my coffee to spill on my shirt. I let out a holler, swerving into the oncoming traffic. A car darted towards me like a bullet, I quickly jerked the steering wheel to the right recovering my original position. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, put it in park and got some napkins out from the glove box . After I was done cleaning my shirt, I tossed the napkin in the back seat; it hit the floor and I was about to take off when I tensed up and felt a pain in my head. I held my head for a minute and sat back, hoping the pain would pass over. I glanced to the right and then as I returned my eyes to the road something in the rearview mirror caught my eye. I stared long and hard trying to figure what was so captivating, the road turned to a walkway. The trees turned to pillars, it was as if they were the pillars at my own home. I watched vividly as a man walked down the walkway towards me gripping a hatchet in his right hand. Behind him through the doorway were my children. Drained of their freedom they would probably never get to experience life at its fullest. I knew by then I had failed to save them but it didn’t stop me from trying. With all the energy I had left, I lunged myself at the man knocking him on the ground.The hatchet flew to the ground next to him, I rolled over and grabbed the axe off the ground and took off towards my children. I kneeled on one knee and reached for the ropes that fastened my kids to the chairs. I grasped the ropes and heard a loud knocking, my eyes opened and I jumped in the car seat. I quickly looked around and noticed a police officer standing outside my window knocking on it. I rolled down my window “Is everything okay sir?” he asked. I paused and replied “ Ugh, yeah....Yeah, everything is fine officer. I just dozed off.” I looked around the car as if I was looking for something I had lost. “Okay, Have a good afternoon sir” said the officer as he gave me a quick, relaxed salute “Will do officer”. I rolled my window back up and looked at the clock on the dashboard, it read 12:30. I leaned forward, closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. The patrol car pulled back onto the road and continued on. I let out a heavy breath and decided that I wouldn’t go to work today. Instead I would visit a therapist, maybe that would help me stop imagining all these wild nightmares. I leaned back, took a deep breath and turned the ignition key. The car wouldn’t start the first time, I turned the key again, and again, and again...Nothing. The car wouldn’t start and I was stuck two miles from any kind of civilization and the cop was too far to hear the car horn. After about ten minutes of sitting there I decided I would have to walk to town. I rummaged through my glove compartment to find something to hang from the car window. All I could find was a bunch of used tissues and some napkins, I wasn’t sure why they were in the glove box but it was all I had. I got out of the car, hung a few of the tissues in the window, and set off down the road towards the town. _____________________________________ /* I apologize in advance for any bb code, grammar, or spelling error.
Also, thinking of Gunther, I just thought of a weird ending for this story. ... Gunther woke up, breathing heavily. Over him stood a large man, a blue cloak draped over his pale body, his beard pure white and reaching down to almost the floor. Such over-powering aura emitted from him, mostly loneliness and anger. He was truly a man to be feared, his crowned jewel on top of his head gleaming with a mischievous shine. "Gunther..." The Ice King said. "You're such a lazy penguin." *flees*
@Shol Gif Soup or w/e tends to have correct sizes, but slow loads, every other gif I use is normally fast.
Hmm. Was Windows' guy getting hit by a car one a GIF Soup one? The first 3 times I was on that page I thought it was just a picture :lol:
Another good read robot !!!!!! I think I see a future for you!!!! I would title it, chicken mcnuggets affect my dreams in a bad way.
My guess on the story is that the Husbanc/main character was in a tragic traumatizing accident in the past, and after he has left his old life, the memories still haunt him. Or the Husband/main character is a special dude who can see into other people or randomly flashes to incidents that don't belong to him...like a special Ability.
I emailed support telling them to delete non-essential posts. That ha nothing to do with the OP. I think that may be why.
Hi everyone, Just cleaned up this thread to put the focus back onto the story written by the OP. Enjoy!