"My name is RedStar, and I am a KaWholic." The man sobbed into his hands. The people nearest to him reached out, touching him gently to console him in his time of need. "It's okay RedStar." The leader of our meeting nodded. "We're all equals here, and we will help you overcome your problems." Red nodded and wiped the tears away. "I first realized I was a KaWholic when I woke up in the middle of the night, my large, ivory phone clasped firmly in my hands. And I was tapping it, over and over again, as if hitting HTE, or farming a noob. I cried for a full twenty three minutes." He sobbed again. It was nasty as hell. Some people can cry pretty, others can't. RedStar couldn't. He had snot going everywhere. "It's all okay." The leader, a man named Hazzernator nodded. "Who's next." He focused his attention on me. "Erm." I shifted in my chair, trying to hide the half eaten snickers bar under my butt, which only succeeded in making it melt. "Hi, I'm um, Zeth." "Hi Zeth." They chorused out, like a possessed horde of KaWholic zombies, intent on prying my deepest darkest secrets from my subconscious. "And I..." I took a deep breath, "am a Statless main." A screech rang over the crowd of them, and something seemed to snap in their minds. Some sat and gave a haughty British harrumph, while others stood and bellowed their rage to the ceiling. I saw the iPad coming toward my face FAR too late. And then it went black. Somewhere in my dreams I saw Luke Hemsworth, making me a batch of wolf brand chili. I was jerked from my pleasant Hemsworth/Chili fever dream, by another haughty British harrumph. "Who is harrumphing?" I asked, rubbing my swollen schnozz. "Ha-wut-ing?" Snazzy Hazzy asked, finishing a grade A job of duct taping my feet to a chair. "You know..." I made the sound. "Something in your throat?" He asked. "No, it's harrumphing. Like the queen." I said, an exasperated tone creeping into my voice, which sounded like a country singer, due to my broken nose. "We aren't into that freaky crap around here." He replied. I hung my head. "Why am I here?" Three more KaW addict walked out of the shadows, all twitchy and wild eyed. They held baseball bats. A-lu-minium sluggers. Crap. "You're a Statless main." He replied. "We are going to cleanse you of your sickness." I gulped. "Please not the face. I need that if I want to manage to interview Roni..." I said. He laughed, and the goons descended upon me. Part 1-4
Re: KaWnonymous I can land one with support, but not RedStar. I can have various mods recommend me to Devs for an interview, but not RedStar is unreachable.
Re: KaWnonymous Didnt really seem anonymous. Unless i am miss interpreting the title. Would be interesting if the subject was. Could almost be a game.