Today when I was strolling through my equipment room in my level 2 castle of sexiness I realised I had a fine pair of hooves in store. Hooves. Yes, those damn sexy things, the nostalgia flooded to me, I tried them on and ahhh, it felt good to be back with my babies... I decided to take a romantic stroll out of my castle and into one of my spy buildings, I guess our relationship was always more of a secret one, as I was about to enter one of these buildings I saw a terrible act occur before my eyes. It was - there are no other words for it - hoofsphemy. "YOU MONSTER!" I screamed as I ran over to this foul thing taking off their hooves. They tried to get away, one of their friends even ran after me trying to explain. But today there was no stopping me, I caught up and to triumphant screams of "RKO OUTTA NOWHERE" I succesfully took out this person who had so deeply offended me and my beloved hooves RIP wandering villager. There was no time for mourning, I knew it had been a test and I had passed, the hooves were safe and everything was fine, however I decided to head back into the castle because I didn't want to show my dear hooves such bad things again. I pranced into the gates, the queen never realised a thing. I trotted into the dining hall and a terrible realisation hit me, no one was wearing their hooves. Why would they do this. How dare they disrespect me like this. I felt a passion like nothing before build inside of me until it reached a peak and I exploded screaming out to all who could here: WHY IS NO ONE WEARING THEM. I MUST END ALL WHO DO NOT WEAR THY SACRED HOOVES. In the back of my mind, beneath all my anger I heard a quiet voice trying to warn the people "Fly you fools!" it said, but to no avail. The power of the hooves had consumed me, nothing would stop me now. Then something unexpected and completely pointless but with a point occurred, the deceased wandering villager had returned for vengeance, I barely recognised him, he has turned from blue to red and wore a T-shirt saying "The escape" whoever knows what that means? He took his shirt off and his hooves and yelled "RKO INCOMING" Needless to say he hit the target, my hooves were knocked off me and I started to think about what I'd done. As the feeling of anger subsided I felt a higher power float over me, and I knew the apes had arrived.. I murmured “I wish the hooves had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened." The apes replied "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the hooves that are given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Delta, besides the will of the hooves." And so I carried the hooves back into my equipment room and stored them away, never to be worn again... (#Sequel) The End. Eh it's 1AM what do I do with my life
Re: A tale of a man and his lover This thread gave me a good laugh OP. I too sometimes feel like trying on my hooves again...
Part 2 coming soon. I want to take you on an epic adventure that will span 12 equipment slots, 2 movies, 3 developers and a couple of random noobs. Coming soon... A tale of man and his lover - Part 2 Trailer will be posted shortly