Sup everybody. Some of you know me as your basic gaint scrub and most of you don't know me at all. As i was sitting on a bench outside, enjoying the sun on this sad day, I thought about making this thread. What I am about to write on here may or may not be a life lesson, but it will at least be somewhat of a story. So lets get into it. Today, exactly 4 years ago, was the day my friend hung herself. We were chilling quite frequently and she seemed as happy as ever when I was around. Then, June 6, 2012, when i was about to go to work, I got a call at ~8am. It was her mother calling, all I heard was sniffing and crying and after like 5 minutes she finally said: I am sorry to tell you, but your best friend passed away. It didn't hit me for months and months and months. I didn't cry when I heard it, I didn't cry on her funeral (where I got angry people telling me to cry and not be disrespectful, screw those 'adults', goddamn little kids.) After a week or 2 I finally heard why she did it. Apparently she had recently found out she was a possible lesbian or at least bisexual. Then the dark thoughts came in. She thought no one would accept her as a lesbian in society, that she'd lose all her friends, including me. She couldn't stop those thoughts, so she started drinking, smoking, doint drugs and she started to act extremely feminine while she clearly wasn't. Then at June 6, she just mentally collapsed and did it. When it finally hit me, about a year later, it started to hurt and it still does. I think about her almost daily. If she had just told me what was wrong i would have told her it's alright, nothing wrong with being a lesbian. We can look at women together amirite? But she didn't. She was too scared of my reaction, that I would abandon her. It makes me sad thinking about that, do I really have a "i hate homosexuals" attitude? I dont think so.... But what she did was something you should never do, kill yourself. It still pains me after 4 years, her parents and sis go to a psychiatrist multiple times a week. Her friends, family, etc etc still visit her grave every week. By choosing for yourself you scar others for life. What I am trying to say to anyone who is suicidal who might read this is, DONT DO IT. Even when you feel like crap and that there is nothing left to live for, there always is my friend, there always is. Even when you think you're all alone, there is always someone who cares about you and loves you, even if you don't see 'em. Try to pursue happiness instead of giving up, after rain comes sunshine. Dont make others get hurt bc of your own selfish decisions, it's not worth it to scar people for life. And never forget, there is always a reason to live. That concludes this thread. Please don't flame or post rude comments, leave the banter for elsewhere... Have a majestic day everybody, and try to make the most of it, it will eventually pay off.<3 With much love, This giant scrub<3
Respect and it's an important message to pass on. As there's always someone in the same situation feeling the same or even worse. You may feel alone at that point but I can assure you. If you reach out to people. They'll be there.
"No pain, no gain" is a phrase that is a bit twisted in this context. You say don't be selfish, but as most suicides are spur-of-the-moment decisions I guarantee the thoughts going through their head are not what will the impact on others be, but more how cycling the double-action would be so relieving at that point in time (or whatever their method/plan of choice is). Yes, positivity and such thinking can fight things off for a time, but there are still moments for some where they just really aren't in their right mind on that end. As you said in your story, eventually, some people just crash. It doesn't even have to be something as big as lesbianism. It could be something as simple as failing out of college 1st semester and not wanting to bring further disgrace on your family for what seems minor to others, or who knows what could be the tipping point for an individual (say, just inane conversation where the individual feels miserable and immediately jumps to the worst solution due to it simmering for so long). PS: I'm not encouraging or justifying suicide with this post, merely offering some minor insight (and it's a minor pet peeve when folks call suicidal folks selfish when it really is more of a mental condition - which is why in suicide prevention classes they teach that some people aren't savable as talk and counseling only go so far). PPS: Saying some people are beyond saving / can't be saved is another pet peeve of mine. Everyone, with the right chain, can be saved. Knowing and getting there is the tricky part. Besides, if you don't believe that (or if I don't believe that), what does that say for hope? Still, it's a common enough phrase on the subject, so I have to mention it here.
I agree wit u corinthian & as sum1 who has had friends go down that road & has suffered the high n lows of depression & anxiety i gotta say the op here is actually making it kinda worse than better by putting a message out which heaps more pressure onto the already broken.
Maybe selfish wasn't the right way to phrase it. What I was aiming for is just the damage it does to everyone who cares about you and loves you. It's a mental scar that will never go away, and will always hurt. In that way I see that as selfish, not meaning to be harsh. And yes I am very aware of the thoughts going through their heads at that moment. But I believe that in every head is a bit of sunlight to shine down on darkness and make you realise that this is never the way..
Great message. For real, don't do it. Get help. There are so many people willing and wanting to help. Depression isnt something you can handle on your own