A Haunting in the alley(short stories)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *innocent-injustice (01), Mar 29, 2012.

  1. Stacey and Louise were walking down an alley from school. They were extremely excited because it was the summer holidays and they were going to Spain. Suddenly, a huge crash came from behind the dusty, smelly old bins. Louise stopped dead... But Stacey, unphased by the noise, kept walking.
    "Stacey, what was that?" whispered Louise.
    "I don't know or care. I'm going home."
    Then 3 or 4 bins fell over. Then...one rose high in the air, flew towards the girls but it missed them by inches.
    "Okay something weird is happening," Louise wailed, beginning to panic.
    Suddenly a thud came from inside a garage. Stacey tiptoed forward and opened the door. There was nothing there. "Now I'm scared!" moaned Stacey, "come on were leaving." Stacey grabbed Louise and dragged her away.
    All the way home doors slammed, gates opened and closed, bins fell over, everything happened at once. When they got home they were truly shaken.

    Some time later they finally recovered and almost forgot about it all. But the memory must have lingered at the back of their minds because they never took that route ever again...

    I wrote that story when I was 11 fir a contest. It had to be under 200 words and just wondered what you all thought. Thanks
     
  2. it was stupid. why bother posting some lame 200 word story school assignment you wrote when you were 11?

    it quite obvious how crap this is
     
  3. D_bo I know you don't care now leave. And if it's so bad why did they publish it?
     
  4. Why do you respond to D_bo? I find these reactions to him pretty entertaining
     
  5. lol "published" doesn't mean successful OR that it was a great story.

    especially when written by a child
     
  6. D_bo is just a parasite.. Ignore him
     
  7. @feather I'm the one who posted it on kidzworld :)
     
  8. as I said. some little 200 word "story" you wrote when you were 9 years old wasn't published by some big national book publisher.

    it still sucks
     
  9. I wrote it when I was 11 it's not a big deal. Why do you care? You always say you don't care about fan fic so just leave it
     
  10. I don't always say "I don't care about fan fiction"

    I'm just always honest and more than willing to say when your stories suck
     
  11. Ccccc...Chloroform by a Pppppedophile
     
  12. Oh well I posted it to get opinions so say what you like. The good far outweigh the bad so I don't care
     
  13. Ergon was writttin by a guy when he was 11 - 16 and that sold millions so being written by a kid doesn't matter
     
  14. But anostly it's goes reelly fast as my my writing teachers said show dont tell
     
  15. just because a young author has been successful in the past certainly doesn't mean that's it's commonplace.

    that's like saying since Obama was elected president of the US that ALL black men could be president.
     
  16. Ummm who's to say they cant
    or are u just racist
     
  17. ^And this is the part where I grab my popcorn and rofl-cola.
     
  18. I'm certainly not implying any racism. but who is stupid enough to actually believe every black man could ever have a chance at being president?

    besides the fact Obama wasn't even 100% black. the true fact is the black community should only be 50% proud considering his mom was white.

    there are plenty of people out there that aren't fit to lead a nation.