A Changing Personality FEEDBACK

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *I_Got_Da_Swagger (01), Jun 13, 2011.

  1. Please post your feedback here! Once again, thanks!
     
  2. This just gave me a new outlook on the frightening world of...teenage girls...

    
     
  3. PLEASSSEEE FEEDBACK! and lol feather. Thats girls for ya
     
  4. Your story is amazing so far.
     
  5. Omg thank you so much Remorse!
     
  6. Pretty good so far. One thing you need to watch is your descriptions though. It's good to be descriptive, but not overly so. It's better to show, not tell, if you know what I mean.
     
  7. Keep a writin'
     
  8. Pretty good, the characters are very interesting and I like the way you shaped their personalities through actions. I'm not really sure what purpose the recounts serve as they are the same and on the same post as the part it is recounting. Try to put a line between the part where the story ends and where you write your own message to the reader.(You did it only at the beginning of the chapter make sure to do it at the endings too.) I got a bit confused at the beginning, did you double post?
     
  9. Omg yah I did accidentally recopy it. Sooo sorry! Hope it didn't bother y'all! The second copy of chapter 2 is the correct one I think.
     
  10. OMG WELL GOOD MADDIE BBE
     
  11. Great chapter
     
  12. Can't wait for more!
     
  13. Please hurry and finish the next chapter!!!
     
  14. Hmm... Well considering I haven't read a teen romance like that... Lol. It's quite something lol. Like a look into what most girls wanna do and imagine. I mean I like how the story takes all these modern elements and melds them together. Nice. So uh I guess I'll be doing my best to comprehend XD

    iZaln
     
  15. Omg so much positive feedback! ^^^ thank you!
     
  16. Please keep feedbacking! It really makes my day!
     
  17. Hey Maddie! X omg yh ur storys AMAZING! I seriously think you could be an author! It's awesome! Keep writing :D