I am not going to critique the small redundancies, or the run-on, or a few other things that simply don't matter, as this isn't meant to be graded But I will mention, that I am a twin. So with that being said I would never say my brother was "16, like me.". **I am not 16, that is a quote from the short story** LOL
Ok I get what you're saying, yeah that does make sense! I guess because I'm not a twin, I wouldn't think like one.
Hey, it's really great! Not my type of story but really pulled me in. The views are really good but you did only one with Brittany. Then there's also the gap between when Brittany and Blake were walked in on and to Blake going to talk to Nick. Maybe do another view with Brittany and how she feels after she got walked in on? Anyways, really nice, it flows well. Keep writing. Maybe a little more background? On everyone.
It's really interesting, and like Logical said, there are a few grammatical error's I won't comment on. I love it, keep writing
Thanks for your feedback. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love for you to point out the grammatical mistakes. By that, I don't mean every single one but if there is a consistent problem, then that would really be helpful!
PLEASE CONTINUE! I know how annoying it is when NOBODY PUTS ANY FEEDBACK on your thread and your just like, **** you kaw. (hint. Hint. A life of lies) It's been a long time since I read the original, and I think u were queen of Toronto then? But I forget most of it. This was (and is) my favourite story on fanfic (and I've been around a while) If you discontinue I will eat you. End of story.
Hi, etak! Im sorry, I have actually begun to read your story buy I have a busy life haha, I just want to get a grasp of more of the story before I start to post any feedback! Thank you for all of your feedback everyone else, it really means a lot