Chapter 2 looks good, but some of your grammar and sentence structure's a little off. Remember the difference between a coma and a semicolon. Keep writing!
Eh... A lot of repetition and rookie mistakes I guess. I'm not a fan of futuristic novels that outline events, but more of a fan of psychological stories that show how certain events can change someone. (Example: Flowers for Algernon). Since I haven't actually read more than a few paragraphs, I can't give a full review and therefore can't properly critique you.
Meh. 5, I guess. I think you need to space out diologue (is that the right spelling? Lol) in your story. It is daunting to a reader when you see Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah As compared to "Zomg!" Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah! "Shabalaba ding dong!" Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It looks easier to read, and seems a little bit more friendly. I think in the most recent one, you did a much better job with that. And please stop posting everywhere about this. Many in cafe, and sure a feedback thread. But almost everyday and three threads? All I see is "Snatchers! Snatchers! Snatchers!" I hope they don't snatch me. D: