Separate names with a comma.
Hmm... I reread it and some of the parts I read that had "he" change to "it"... Maybe they were in my mind xP but you did say "him" in the...
You're favrite editter am hear two ficks yore thang :D I LOVED IT!!! Moar Pl0x D: P# = paragraph S# = sentence P2S3 "They" and "Their" should...
Just read it again for my 10th time :D I love it
I like Noetic's more.
D:!! I missed something!! In the "butler" paragraph you said "craved" instead of "carved" D:!!!
I can't wait to read more!!! <333 I will be your permanent editter forever ^-^ <333
;-; double post... Lame KaW
Noe rules :D lol that is EVERY error though. Most people do worse in my class :P it's pretty much all commas and quotes xD the two most confusing...
ヾ(◠‿◠ ✿) nice story! Here's the editting you asked for: (>; ⌒-⌒)> Note: Only necessary changes will be listed- not my OCD changes xP Note2: Commas...