Rhino Problemerino

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by -WillyTheDeuce-, May 25, 2017.




  1. Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros.

    The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself.

    If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this.

    This is my story.
     
  2. Re: Rhino Problemino

    sorry to hear this, hope everything works out op
     
  3. Re: Rhino Problemino

    Me too.

    To my knowledge, Pfizer doesn't work with horns and/or rhinos in general.

    Maybe I can species change to an oxen? I don't know.
     
  4. Re: Rhino Problemino

    My prayers go out to you.
     
  5. I wouldn't pray. I mean, that's a bit extreme. I'm a rhino, so, I really don't even understand the concept of organized religion.

    If I met God or Allah or the Spaghetti Monster, I'd probably ram them with my limp horn.

    Hence the problem I have.
     
  6. there must be some rhino deity though?
     
  7. No.

    We don't even feel bad when we accidentally eat our own children.
     
  8. oh wow okay thats a little weird
     
  9. You need that blue pill.
     
  10. Well, you human Christians worship a zombie magician you've never seen/met from 2017 years ago because a book written that long ago said to.

    I'm weird?
     
  11. no im talking about the eating your children part
     
  12. Looks like you need some rhino therapy.
     
  13. I said "accidentally". Sometimes they get all in your mouth when you are eating some Rhino Quiznos or whatnot.
     
  14. Rhino therapy is just a bunch or grunting and attacking. All stuff I shouldn't do with a limp horn.

    Plus a psychiatrist isn't covered under any Rhino insurance, so I wouldn't be able to afford it.



    I can't get a job.



    Because I'm a rhino.
     
  15. What an awful situation.
    You're a rhino with a condition. You'd like to find a treatment for your condition so you can be a productive rhino, but you can't afford health insurance because you have no job. And you can't get a job because you're a rhino with a condition.

    It's a vicious cycle - if only there was a program or system to help you so you could get out of it.

    Instead, many people will probably just blame the rhino.
     
  16. Try Rhinoagara! It is sure to make those limp horns burst like you were 7 again!!!
     
  17. Your only problem is you are drinking the fluoridated water

    Fluoride is toxic to rhinos, it calcifies the pineal gland so it is unable to communicate with the quantum field

    Is also the active ingredient in Prozac which is an anti depressant and any rhino will tell you, taking anti depression medication that's not prescribed to you can cause suicidal thoughts and actions

    You may be thinking, but I prefer fizzy rhino cola, and I'll tell you those contain aspartame which also has terrible health effects

    They feed radioactive particles to ebola virus and what it poops out is that good ole sweetener aspartame, mmmmmhmmmm yummy gummy goodness

    Not to mention how acidic fizzy rhino cola is, it makes a better degreaser than something to consume

    Your body is 70% water and having it become so acidic as battery acid, your going to experience many diseases and adverse health consequences

    For which the only cure is to change your acid intake and go for higher pH intake

    Though doctors have not figured this simple fact out yet and likely they never will because there is no profits in curing disease

    So they'll just give you pills for it, and the side effects will be worse which require more pills and more side effects

    I haven't had a cold in over 20 years, I haven't been sick, I refuse vaccinations because I'm allergic to mercury which is so poisonus to the rhino body that it should be banned

    The food, water, and air in your habitat is poisoned my mainstream rhino corporations and big veterinarian is intentionally poisoning your rhino body so they can get you hooked on taking pills everyday for the rest of your life

    All while killing you slowly

    Ask yourself, why are rhino's almost extinct?

    It's a slow drip genocide, intentionally killing you and it's designed that way for maximum rhino profits

    The fewer the rhinos the easier to control, and by making the rhino education system mandatory and ineffective, you have a dumbed down population that's easy to control and farm them out for maximum profits

    Having an informed population of rhinos are impossible to govern, they know their rhino rights and they would claim even more, making the ruling rhino class ineffective as no one would follow their unlawful and destructive orders

    Imagine world rhino war 2 of no one followed orders, the mass genocide of white rhinos would have never happened, now there are zero white rhinos in the world and we have learned nothing
     
  18. have some milk
     


  19.