So the other day, ATA Mark was making some Hockey analogy and some folks were not getting it and I was quite outraged!.. but then I realized people outside of Canada (and a few Scandinavian countries) don't know or care about Ice Hickey.. Therefore I thought to make this Canadians only* thread about an epic Hockey game set in the KaW universe.. *Swedish Bikini team excepted First off dear reader.. let's see if you are truly a Canadian! Canadian Citizen Test A Gordie Howe Hat Trick is: A) A power play goal, regular goal, and a shorthanded goal B) Three unassisted goals C) Receiving 3 penalities D) A goal, an assist and a fight E) A goal, an assist and a save F) That special tall boy can of beer you order at the old Maple Leaf Gardens -------------------------------- Did you choose C? Good, good.. now git outta here! OK, now that we got the poseurs out of the way.. let's get on with the game shall we? This epic Hockey game is set in the KaW universe.. I shall now introduce the starting lineup and reserves for each team and then as we say in the great white north*, "Icemen Cometh!" *White as in the snow.. wait why am I explaining this? Only real Canadians are supposed to be here. If you are reading this.. git outta here! The Visiting Team - ATA Rampage Mark - Captain - RW Captain Mark is a leader.. he leads the team in PIM.. he has no superpowers like some of his other team mates, but he bites.. hard Jorathe The Silver - Goalie Born in the Glacier fresh Kokanee mountains, this Sasquatch can stop a puck with his teeth.. He can party with the best of them too as Willy can attest when he went for a night out with him. Jodie - Enforcer - Centre Jodie is tough and creative.. when she's not busy designing new monsters and swag, she hits the ice, and the opposing goons, to make sure her team is safe.. she has a wicked left uppercut that'd drop you before you drop ur gloves Grant - The Diver - LW Grant always takes one for the team.. a dive that is.. it's an art you know.. but when you're the bad guys, you pull every trick in the book.. Z'uthmerak - Tentacles of Terror - Backup Goalie Good luck trying to go five hole on this beast with its tentacles.. The trick is healing aura if I remember correctly.. Offside trap Charlie - Defense Do you know Charlie's favourite trap in hockey is? Icing! Ofcourse.. get it? Charlie and the chocolate factory.. icing on the cak.... nvm.. Hey atleast I haven't sunk down to beaver jokes... yet.. Caster the Plaster - Defense Caster loves plexiglass.. he loves it so much he likes to show the opposing teams an up close examination of the boards whenever they cross the blue line The Mage - Shutdown Defense Don't let the Bikinis and Mukluks fool you, the Mage will frustrate you and deny you of any chance of scoring.. Michael the Mod - Can play any position Michael loves flair.. Michael loves bling.. Michael can play both pitcher and catcher.. wait is that even a hockey analogy? Who cares! We're Canada.. we'll even let the ice dancers play hockey All the Mods on the Bench (or in Penalty Boxes) It's hockey!! Not Curling.. There you have it folks.. your nasty visiting team full of enforcers and ice dancers.. Gif break.. GO LEAFS GO!!
Now.. please get ready to cheer.. For you are aboot to see.. The most awesome hometown hockey team ever assembled on KaW.. Please welcome.. The Tim Horton Midgets AshesOfEden - Handsome RCMP Captain I can land a triple axle while scoring on your five hole.. when I fight I'll bite ur ankles. Ventress - Distractor This New Age speedy winger can score from the blue line with her slap shot.. she basically slaps very hard Onesy Orr - Defense *Insert jokes about how he recently put up defense towers Nova_Scotia - The Maritime Madman - Enforcer This Goon from DKoD always loves a good fight.. Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Rhum! CanadianGal - The Siren I fell into the burning ring of Fire.. it burns burns burns.. and the Flames went higher.. King Leo - The King The 99. The King.. More assists than anyone's career point totals.. Like a True Spartan, he likes to fight naked.. Mega - LSA Butt Ninja - LW Mega is a speedy butt ninja.. he likes to camp his big butt in front of the net and screen shots.. He also owns a 7-11 in Wasaga Beach Moose - The Knuckle - Enforcer Let me tell ya kids!.. I was a a green mod.. then I was orange mod.. then I was a green mod.. then I dropboxed like it was hot.. 'Mare - Retired KotFE Goon Is there anyone 'Mare didn't tick off or fight with?.. He's the Gordie Howe of our Canadian KaW players..️ Sugah - Last Rights Lady Sugah is as sweet as Maple Syrup but has sharp teeth like a beaver (Yay.. I get to put a beaver pun in!).. she owns a winery on Pelee island Well my dear Canadians (and others who have snuck in to see what we're doing).. Shall we get the game started? You all know it.. join along! Hello out there, were on the air it's hockey night tonight! The tension grows, the whistle blows, and the puck goes down the ice. The goalie jumps, and the players bump, and the fans all go insane. Someone roars: "Bobby Scores!" At the good old hockey game! Oh! The good old hockey game! Its the best game you can name! And the best game you can name, is the good old hockey game! Second Period. Where players dash, with skates a-flash, the home team trails behind. But they grab the puck, and go bursting up, and their down across the line. They storm the crease, like bumblebees, and they travel like a burning flame. We see them slide the puck inside, its a one- one hockey game! Oh! The good old hockey game! Its the best game you can name! And the best game you can name, is the good old hockey game! Third Period. Last game in the play-offs too. Oh take me where the hockey players face off down the rink, And the Stanley Cup, is all filled up, for the champs who win the drink! Now the final flick, of a hockey stick, and a one gigantic scream: "THE PUCK IS IN! THE HOME TEAM WINS!" At the good old hockey game Oh! The good old hockey game! Its the best game you can name! And the best game you can name, is the good old hockey game! OH! *No Beavers were harmed while making this thread
Home team is missing a second line, should add more of us Canucks. There's sure to be more than just one line worth of Canadian players in this game.
I feel like bad things should happen to you for comparing mare to Mr. Hockey. R.I.P. Gordie, Go Wings.
Boba.. I have added you to the powerplay unit.. you will face off against that Jedi Mod.. Meanwhile.. in Canada
*puts on Canadian disguise* Oh! A thread aboot hockey, eh? Nice, eh? What aboot them boys from Toron'o and Saskatoon hitting that biscuit into that there goal, eh? Go team! *sits back with beads of sweat and waits to see if Pingu got away with being an honorary Canadian hockey fan*
Pingu... That cosplay pic was decent.. you have been given a honory Moose stamp to being a Canadian.. Please put real Canadian memes next time though.. Like.,
I challenge all hard working, poutine binging, 420 blazing canadians to put some real Canadian memes/advice/wisdoms here.. stereotypes exist for a reason eh.. *moonface emoji