How to write extreme sadness in book?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by IkiryoNighthawk, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. I am currently writing a book. How do I write extreme sadness? It is in a first person view. Basically the mother witnesses her daughter getting knocked out and nearly dying. How should I write the extreme sadness?

    EDIT: For context here is the incomplete rough draft of the chapter that this happens in.

    It's not finished, but it introduces a very important character into he story.
     
  2. I was always told "write what you know"... Maybe re orientate the view to one which you can better portray? Not being a mother, and not wanting to be, I would similarly struggle to know how a mother would feel.
     
  3. Anxiety,stress,shock crying, all emotional responses, even anger
     
  4. Why is her daughter getting knocked out? Was it a man? Is she a boxer? Was it an accident? I need context.
     
  5. 3rd person nihilistic
     
  6. The story is that they're on a planet that's about to be destroyed by an asteroid. They are about to leave the planet when the mother's daughter wants to create a snowman before they leave. Tiny rocks that got released from the astroid hit the daughter on the head after the mother took the time to take a picture of the daughter and the snowman. She has to carry the daughter to a teleporter to take her to the spaceship to get her off the planet.
     
  7. 3rd person nihilistic...

    ...snowman narrates
     
  8. OP youre an author? I'm having terrible writers block maybe you can ghost write "A Bacon Love Story" for me? I need parts 5-372 done for me please. 
     
  9. OK. Use something the reader can relate to, maybe describe memories of the little girl (alien?) and things like her first word, and first steps (if she has legs?) Stuff like that. Is the Lil girl OK tho?
     
  10. Here, copy my below text:

    Extreme sadness
     
  11. Wait what.. obvious troll topic :s
     
  12. Have a child, then watch it get knocked out by a heavy object.
     
  13. Immense detail is always a necessity during extremely sad parts of a writing. Try and create visual for the reader as well.
     
  14. Just write "[Noodle's emotional state]" whenever you need any sort of sadness

    eg

     
  15. Hope that was helpful
     
  16. My daughters head was missing from her lifeless body.

    "Total bummer" I said out loud and walked towards my ship.

    We've only had her a few years and had grown quiet fond of her. I knew that playing in the snow during an asteroid storm, the reason for evacuating the plant, held some risks but making snow creatures is such fun.

    "Well, that'll learn me" I said to my husband as I told him the news. His eyes were welling up with tears and wouldn't look at me directly.

    "We can get another one honey - don't worry." I put my arm around him. It felt strangely natural to try and comfort him but also a little ridiculous at the same time.

    .......,.............................

    Next person continues the story here

    ......,..............................
     
  17. One way is to put a third character into the situation and have them communicate it via a conversation but i prefer to use a discription of actions personally, eg, 'Time seemed to slow down as severe shock suddenly swept through my body. The sounds of the falling rocks crashing around me seemed as if to be dulled by the gravity of the situation. I rushed over to her still body, almost unaware of the rocks berating my own, and akwardly picked her up, trying to cover her head atleast, from further injury. I started to move quickly back towards the mover and nearly slipped once on the now loosely surfaced ground, reaching it with little time to spare as a heavier fall of deathly sized rocks began to rain down.'

    Here i am trying to show her feeling of dispair through her sudden shock & lack of control in rushing for her child's body without thought or care for protecting her own, as if she's so sad at the thought of losing her child she's thinking she does not care if she dies to save her. In this way it's something i think is relatable to most parents.

    Also if ur looking for sum examples of great descriptive fantasy writing try reading some of David Edding's novels, the man is the master.
     
  18. I still wanna know what happens to the little alien girl.
     
  19. I asked her pose next to the snow creature. She run with a smile and was standing looking proud. Not that fast I laughed and grabbed my phone. I aimed for the picture, but some snow fell down. I looked up and saw a rock falling down. A shout freezed in my mouth while the rock hitted my child on her head. I fell on my knees out of shock. Tears dripped on the ground while I crawled to her bleeding head. My life stopped. I felled my heart burst out, my lungs couldn't get air. The most important eyes in the world closed. This couldn't be happening.