Hey all! I used to be a KaW addict like you, then I took an arrow to the knee! Haha, all lame and outdated Skyrim jokes aside, I've discovered many ways that you can incorporate skills you learned in KaW and apply them in real life - making it easier to transition away and break your KaWcaine addiction. I've successfully used these ways to fully break my own addiction and have been KaW free for over 2 years now. If I can do it, so can you!!* Let's start with the most obvious, yet arguably most overlooked aspect of KaW: Button mashing. You've all mastered button mashing, from endless hitting the repeat button on HTE to scoutbombing that kingdom you're too afraid to reveal yourself to. I've discovered a real life occupation that you can put all your skills to good use at: Elevator Concierge!!! There is literally no other way in real life that mashing button can evoke the same, butthurt response that it does on KaW. You're running late to a business meeting on the 15th floor? Here, let me press every level below that and watch the fun commence!! Make friends (and enemies) just based on how you mash buttons. Remember, KaW is a social game, and on the elevator you get to be social with everybody and this time they can't block you for being a pervert. A second crucial part of KaW that real life has difficulty emulating is the ability to insult/harass/troll people who cannot respond, whether that be because you're too large to be hit or because you're a statless alt. But fear not, there's hope yet! Chances are you live nearby a fast food joint of some sort. The kind where employees are paid minimum wage and "The Customer is Always Right" mantra is posted everywhere plus Satan's ass for good measure. Go ahead and insult their intelligence because they got your order wrong or better yet because they got it right but you don't like their attitude! Revel in the fact that they can do nothing but apologize and squirm beneath your searing gaze. But just like how that clanness "noob" has a main in Apocalypse, these poor workers have a main in the manager. When they call for backup run like hell and/or apologize just like you do in KaW! Are you an ally hoarder? Are all allies fair game until they're yours, and may God have mercy on those who try to separate you two? Well you are in luck, for the real life version of this is oft considered the most sacred of institutions - marriage. And you get to be the evolved form of the Overly Attached Girlfriend - the Overly Attached Spouse Yes, literally attach yourself to the arm of your spouse as they sit on the toilet. Since in real life you can't volley your spouse up so nobody can have them, force your spouse to wear a full body suit whenever they go out. That way nobody can see what they look like and therefore have no chance of stealing them out from under you. Be super jealous of your spouse talking to other people just like you do in KaW and confront them about it at every turn. And for those of you who hoard lots of allies instead of just one, all you have to do is go to Utah - where polygamy, although not strictly legal, will probably stand up in court. 100? 200? 250 spouses? You did it in KaW, and you can do it in real life too! And how about all of you people who do a ton of talking but don't really amount to anything besides being a mere annoyance? Don't fret, I've done extensive research in this area. The answer is simple - become an alcoholic! Make your second (or even primary) home in the bar down the street. Get plastered daily and tell everybody about your achievements or how long you've frequented the bar. Watch everybody you know grow and accomplish great things. You don't care, you don't need to care, as everybody at the bar knows you and (barely) tolerates your stories and presence. With this advice you should easily be able to make the transition from KaW to real life. Does real life feel like KaW yet? It should, and welcome back. Are there any other skills you've acquired in KaW that you've found a way to incorporate into real life? Post them so we can hopefully all break our addictions forever *Is not a guarantee of success. Success is based on numerous factors including, but not limited to, general aversion to butthurtedness, god complex, sexual attraction to burritos, and likelihood of death by ambulance. Should these steps be unsuccessful the advisor owes you no compensation but may be inclined to pat you on the back and say "Good job, I knew you would fail" upon request -A Special Thanks to Snoopy for help on the Ally Hoarder trait, it had been driving me crazy up until he came along
I speak from knowing an ally hoarder in real life personally.. He would always try offer to be my "toilet paper roll holder." It got to the point I had to file a legal divorce to my special acquaintance whom I had met just a few nights prior to the divorce.
Just remember folks, it's not considered KaWbuse unless it causes, creates, or leads to substandard performance at work.
complain about your problems getting a girlfriend while on the subway. people there will care just as much as the people on the forums care about your farming problems/skills. if you complain loudly enough, you'll probably get the same amount of attention as when you post in all caps. most of them will do everything possible to avoid engaging you, a handful will make jokes about you amongst themselves and laugh at you, and a rare few will make fun of you to your face.
For all those mod wannabes who like to be power hungry...you know who you are. Running through WC large fonting all the things you see and screenshoting things to send the devs. Taking all that media space for items that are really minie, but allowing all the really important stuff to slip behind you. I hear that there are several unarmed security gaurd companies looking for your type.
I followed this advice and now everyone irl knows me! It's incredible how people now respect me enough to give me a wide berth wherever I go! Who knows, after enough time maybe I'll make it onto the lb.
Self pinning. Wrote a check yo ass can't cash? A quick blow to the head and bam! They can't touch you (or at least you won't remember it)
do you enjoy posting on an enemies wall to talk trash during a fight? spray paint messages on your neighbor's house the next time he complains about your leaves falling in his yard. make sure to sign your name, so that the cops have an easy link.
Post-It Notes on the doors and so forth, easier to delete(I mean remove), just as annoying, not necessarily a crime. Also, better mirrors wall-posts, and apparently there are certain passive-aggressive folks in real life who do exactly what I'm talking about.
An angry family (depending on the culture / area, could be a big, close-knit family) can just as well react aggressively. Likewise, they might not, which about matches clan reactions. Keep in mind I'm including extended friends and family in the local area (it happens). Edit: Welcome to Gangs at War. Oh wait... ;-)
I will say that to be in the top 50 in life, you have to find a way spend money. Creating credit cards and/or making a pile of debt through loans will help you become number 1 in RL.
Because dear friend, by this point, you have been able overcome the majority of your KaWcaine addiction. Nothing gives you a better sense of accomplishment than being up there with Donald Trump and Bill Gates.
yes. this thread is about overcoming your addiction to kaw. did you know that you can chat with women IN REAL LIFE?!?!? and what is more; it is usually way easier to tell if they are really women! thanks, sholron!