My Big Fat Guide of How To's **UPDATED**

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by PrestonGarvey, May 11, 2016.

  1. How to RP

    Roleplaying is an important part of the game and is widely considered as one of the widest used game mechs. This is a basic guide on how to RP without looking a fool.

    First Step: Actions
    Now, for your first lesson, you will be trying to walk across the room. This can be done by saying
    Or
    As you can see, you can either use asterisks or hyphens to section off your actions.

    Second Step: Talking
    Who wants to RP and not talk? No one! So you shouldn't too. You can talk by typing normally. This means that you won't have any silly squasage speech marks in there. Who needs them, right?
    It's that simple!

    Third Step: Putting it Together
    Now, try to incorporate them into one post! Simpley put them right next to each other!
    You are already becoming an RP God! One last stage and you will become RP Jesus!

    Final Step: Making your Role
    Now, there are a few rules when making a role. The first is to change your age. If you are 12 then make it 16-18, then if you are 43 then make it 10-12. Simples. The second rule is to make your character unbeatable in a fight, drop dead gorgeous and smarter than Steven Hawking. Here's an example.
    Whilst in reality:
    That's the end of this How to on How to become a Master RPer! I hope it helped :) use your new skills wisely.

    How To's to come:
    How To make a How to Guide
    How To Bait
    How To Read
    How To make Bleach
    How To drink things that you've made reading this
    Guide on How To make a "How To make a How To Guide"
    How To make a Guide on How To make a "How To make a How To Guide"


    EDIT: How To get Farmed

    So, have you ever wanted to lose half of your gold for no reason whatsoever? Well this is the guide for you! For no longer will you have to ask in wc to "clear me" or anything like that. Now you will be able to not waste a speaker!

    First Step: Chossing the Target
    The first step is to select who you want to farm you. The person you target should be easily angered and should love a good bit of PvP. So, I will, as an example, select Roni.

    Second Step: Provoking
    Now, this person won't farm you if you just ask them, so give them a reason! Try hitting them at least ten times.
    ***NOTE: IF SPYING, FAIL AT LEAST ONE HIT SO THAT THEY SEE YOU***

    Third Step: Chatting Sh... Poop
    The next part is how to prolong the farming. Whereas with the last step they will only be hitting back, turning it into a PvP. In this step you will learn how to really get their attention.
    Can you see how you must first question theur actions, and then call them a noob? Essentially, for this stage be as hypocritical as possible and also think up of badly thought out insults. So when insulting Imitation-Cheese...
    or, when insulting suckers251...
    Now, you can think up of bad insults, try
    becoming a God of PvP...
    Sub-Step: Becoming God
    So, now you must act as if the person farming you us nothing but a noob, and compared to you, you are KaW Jesus. This is how to do it:
    Can you see how you should make them look bad, but make yourself into a God? Good.

    Fourth Step: Taking it to Forums
    Now, when taking it to forums, you must always remember to follow out the previous steps. You don't want them getung bored do you? Now, when you've been doing that on forums for a bit, you should then create a cf thread. This can be done simpley, like so:
    Can you see how it's done? That's that step over and this How To. Have fun!

    How to Get a Boyfriend

    No matter what gender you are, boyfriends are always better, having a butt buddy as a guy is the best thing ever, and then having a tough guy to protect you is also pretty good. This How To will outline how to get a boyfriend.

    First Step: How To get to a Man's Heart
    There are two ways to get to a man's heart. The first is heart surgery, however, this has side-effects like death. The second is food. A good, big meal is enough to get into any man's heart. I recommend a burger and chips, but a nice burger, not a Maccie's burger.

    Second Step: Getting into Bed
    From my personal experience, the best way to get the other half into bed for... rumpy humpy time, is to lay a trail of memes to the bed. Here is a list of memes that work:
    DJ Khaled, you can pull this off plenty of times, and he still enjoys it! My other half says "Another One" every time I pull this one off!
    Doge, he will be lured by cuteness.
    Bad Luck Brian, Old but gold.
    etc.

    Third Step P1: Rumpy Humpy Time for Women
    Do what you want here. He'll love it whatever you do!

    Third Step P2: Rumpy Humpy Time for Men
    Remember to resist, this will make the experience for him almost twice as good in some cases.

    Fourth Step: (Men Only)
    Go to a clinic, have a blood test, make sure you don't have AIDS. If you do, dump instantly. If not, then invite to rumpy humpy time until you do contract AIDS.

    Spoilers: I'm not actually gay

    Enjoy! (feel free to practice skills that you've learned below)
     
  2. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Reserved
     
  3. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Best Of Suggestions

     
  4. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    How to write a long, irrelevant and bad thread.
     
  5. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    How To pointlessly quote people
     
  6. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    *Prances onto the thread*

    Hi There!

    Friendship is magic!.. Don't be Fluttershy.. Let's get mad like Rainbow Jack..


    -How did I do?-
     
  7. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Perfect Ashes! Are you sure you're not a pro at this already?
     
  8. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    How to be in a clan with a garden tool.
     
  9. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Bronies before Garden Tool-nies
     
  10. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Sticky this please
     
  11. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Finally! A guide that is actually useful! I'm sick of eb guides and event guides and all those other useless guides! Now I have this amazing guide that will help me learn to rp and pick up the 40 year old me... I mean.. 20 year old women :) Thanks Preston! I would love to help that settlement now!
     
  12. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Go back to Pimd :arrow:
     
  13. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    ...masterpiece. I clap for you -claps in content -
     
  14. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Roleplaying!! I love this thread!

    *A group of archers runs into the enemy base and fires non-stop arrows at the enemy castle!

    *Heaps of gold dropped from the castle as plunder, and as the enemy swordsmen tried to engage on the archers they got headshotted before they even come close!*
     
  15. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Looking forward to the how to guide to how to make a how to guide 
     
  16. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    I've added a new How To guide! Check it out before anyone else.

    Aaaannnnnddddd

    Let's get four more of this lol
     
  17. I'm in the thread! Yay lol
     
  18. Re: My Big Fat Guide of How To's

    Lol, sean had to make it positive
     
  19. I will use these skills wisely

    Best of too
     
  20. If you ever write a 'how to lurk in forums' guide then please feel free to contact me for tips.