Why Life is Harder for Men

Regardless of which gender is better (it's men, no argument), it's quite plainly obvious that life is a war zone of ever changing conditions for men.

It's like crawling across a minefield, with both arms tied behind your back, and one foot missing.

And so, to show you how hard being a man really is, here are the top ten reasons why it's Harder being a man. No pun intended.

#1:
Women Expect you to Do everything, but say you do nothing.
Mow the lawn, take out the trash, fix the garbage disposal, rebuild the deck that the woman drove her car into. If you are unlucky and fortunate enough to be born as a male, you will likely have to deal with all these things, and roll your eyes when the woman in your life accuses you of doing nothing.

#2:
The pains of being a man far exceed those of a woman.
Women claim constantly that pushing out a little heathen is the most painful thing this side of binge listening to Skrillex. And while they might be right, most are willing to go through the process again, and create another child.
Men however, get kicked in the tenders one time, and never want that again in their life. It may be that women greatly exaggerate the birth process in an effort to get pity from men, which brings me to my next point.

#3:
Women look to men for everything, but are the first to declare themselves independent.
When a crisis strikes, such as a stubborn jar refusing to open, a lizard in the bathroom, or a car not starting, women look to men, the embodiment of masculinity and automobile expertise, to fix these things.
However, when a man is willing to help with these things other times, the woman will turn him down, declaring that she can accomplish this on her own.
This confuses the typically straightforward male mind.

#4:
Men have to deal with women.
When they whine, when they cry, when they join a feminist rights group, when they cannot open another jar, or bother you while you're trying to sleep at 2 A.M. Men put up with women, simply out of the kindness of our hearts, hearts that women claim are stone cold often times.
The number one reason why men are more patient and caring than women is the "Once a month" problem, which we survive, albeit changed, and in agony.

#5:
Men have to resist women.
This one speaks for itself. While they beat us, torture us, and belittle us, we continue returning to these Sirens, like a moth to the flame. And we are inevitably burned again.
This rebound time is greatly reduced depending on the physical appearance of the woman.

#6:
A pair of female under garments need only be a triangle with some strings on it. But men, men have things. Things that rub, and smother, and develop a terribly rash if not clothed properly. The female underwear choosing process is made out to be a great hunt, but the real sufferers are men, who spend countless hours in agony if they choose the wrong size, much less the wrong brand.

#7:
Men occasionally have to ride with women, which feels kind of like riding double on a horse, while you're facing backwards, and the horse is jumping ravines.
The female driving process consists of trial and error, and a generous dose of natural selection. Only the strong will survive.

#8:
Men have to be the breadwinners in the family. Society frowns upon them otherwise. Thus, sending the female out to provide for the family is typically frowned upon, which means the men, in addition to the labor around the house, must go and get a job to provide for the woman and her shopping sprees.
And if these shopping sprees are mentioned, the woman will likely go on strike.

#9: Men are entirely helpless in the kitchen, with any tool other than a knife, fork, barbecue, and various meats. This leaves us vulnerable and entirely dependent on women for life sustaining sammiches, which give us the strength to deal with women.
Thankfully, women can navigate this hazardous environment easily, and fetch the ham, bread, and other required ingredients, to make a suitable offering.

#10:
It falls to the men to make the offspring strong and independent. The man must teach the young to hunt. To kill. To open jars. It all falls to the man to make the children ready for the hostile outside world. Otherwise, they will be unready, and most likely picked off quickly. Without a man to teach these skills, all man children would be Bruce Jenner. And God help us if that happens.