Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about.....complaining about the cost of the next land, someone bought your ally, that crux chest you opened, you missed the item phase, your enchant attempt failed and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here? kaw_admin: All but one. Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to -WillyTheDeuce-) Put that coffee down!! Coffee’s for crystalers only. (-WillyTheDeuce-scoffs) Do you think I'm messing with you? …….. I am not messing with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Spragga & ATA. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's -WillyTheDeuce-? -WillyTheDeuce-: Yeah. You call yourself a KAWer, you son of a *****? lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il: I don't have to listen to this garbage. You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're reset. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just 48 hours to rebuild your kingdom, starting tonight. Starting with tonight’s epic battle. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month’s Crux Crusades contest. As you all know, first prize is 3 build tokens. Anyone want to see second prize? …….Second prize's 15 Inferno. Third prize is you're reset. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got troops. ATA paid good money. Use your troops and attack! You can't hit the top tier ebs, you can’t steal anonymously, you can’t pin a noob, you ARE a noob, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!! -WillyTheDeuce-: The troops are weak. 'The troops are weak.'The troops are weak? You're weak! I've been playing this game for four years. lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il: What's your name? FORGET YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you rode a horse from your stable to get here tonight, I flew in on a Bellicose Bird. That's my name!! (to TRT__Wesley8__TRT) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't crystal them. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Getting to build complete! You hear me, you damn noobs? (Flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.) A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-crystaling. Always be crystaling! Always be crystaling!! A-I-D-A. Attacked? Investigate, Decision, Action. Attacked? – did you get attacked? Investigate – do you know who and why? Know this because it's either dance or walk. You crystal or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision to hit back?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the new players comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't download Kingdoms At War unless he wants to play. Sitting out there waiting to give you their gold! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il) What's the problem pal? You are. lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il: You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums? (Sits and takes off his gold watch) You see this Rime Fortress? You see it’s Level 5? lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il: Yeah. That one building cost more than your entire Lowland build. I made 970,000,000 gold my last hit. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a crap. RL issues? Screw you -- go home and play with your kids!! (to everyone) You wanna build complete? Crystal! (to TRT__Wesley8__TRT) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you noob? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse when you get sat on?! You don't like it -- reset. I can go out there tonight with the Hystricidae Helmet you got, make myself Lowland complete! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to play KAW? (He pulls something out of his briefcase) It takes bronze bars to play KAW. Go and do likewise, gents. The gold's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on these HTE promos tonight and crystal, crystal, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, here’s another HTE promo so the devs can make money, it’s a racket." (takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase) These are the new lands. These are the Glengarry lands. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to kaw_admin) They're for crystallers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Spragga and the sharks at ATA asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and reset your noob ass because a loser is a loser. (Stares at lI_____P____E____T____E_____Il for a sec, and then picking up his Necrotic Sting, goes into inner office with kaw_admin) (Author’s note: All rights reserved and respect given to their respective owners. Pete, Willy & Wesley are obviously not noobs and selflessly agreed to be used in this parody. OP is not build complete or even close. Now go get out there and crystal!) (Author's note #2: If you don't understand what you just read.... jump to the top of page 4 for an explanation.)
my grandfather smoked his whole life. i was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'if you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.' tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. he gave it up immediately. three years later he died of lung cancer. it was really sad and destroyed me. my mother said to me- 'don't ever smoke. please don't put your family through what your grandfather put us through." i agreed. at 18, i have never touched a cigarette. i must say, i feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this post gave me cancer anyway.
For one, it's not a wall of text, it's clearly separated into paragraphs as well as the odd picture. Two, I hate people like you that quote the entire OP
All I can muster for a reply is "lol". And a big "raise up" to those of us that have been playing for 4+ years that have spent less than $10 (u.s.) in those 4+ years! BOOM!
Lel. you quoted the entire OP[/quote] ------------------------------ Nice quoting skills bud. And yes I did, I quoted your post, which contained the entire OP. That's how a quote works. Noob
Glengarry Glen Ross. Top ten best movies ever. Perfect parody. This must've taken a lot of work. Cheers to Rad. If you don't know it, then go check it out. Best Forum Post Ever