Ashes and Willy BUSTED!

WARNING: THIS THREAD WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.
For practical reasons, it is suggested that you place your head in a plastic bag before reading, to ensure that your cranial tissues and fluid don't ruin your carpet.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, trolls and noobs, asses and boobs, beards and moobs... today an historic event took place. Forget the aligning of the planets, prepare yourselves for the following image:



Please forgive me while I replace my underwear.
...
Now you may ask...

And to that I say...
ARE YOU ****ING BLIND?!
(If you are, I mean no offence to you, although let's be honest... If you were blind, you wouldn't be reading this. But on the other hand, someone could be reading this aloud to you - if that's the case... then you obviously have an amazing friend). Yay.

Anyway, back to the image. Look at the post counts of Ashes and Willy (2 legendary forumers, as we all know).

AshesofEden: 6959 posts
-WillytheDeuce-: 7959 posts

Would you just look at that. Using these numbers alone, I can prove to you guys the true origins of both Ashes and Willy. You thought you could trust them, well...
THINK AGAIN.

7959 - 6959 = 1000.
1000.
How many digits does 1000 have?
4. Remember this number.
Now let's look at the original numbers...
7959 and 6959.
7 + 9 + 5 + 9 + 6 + 9 + 5 + 9 = 59.
Remember the 4? 59 / 4 = 14.75.
14 + 75 = 89.
8 and 9 are consecutive numbers.
Consecutive has 11 letters.
What's 11 + 89? 100.
Remember the 1000 we encountered earlier?
1000 / 100 = 10.
How many 1's in 10? 1.
10 - 1 = 9.
If we keep the 10, we come up with a striking sum.

WHAT'S 9 + 10?

Well, we all know what that equals...



So we end with an even MORE striking question.
What is the significance of 21?
Well, let me show you a rare image of the devil himself:



Lord spragga has completed 21 quests and won 221 battles. Forget 666... That's simply the fake, decoy number of the devil. The REAL integer we must fear is 21.

This is me right now (except of course I am wearing my precautionary plastic bag)...



So we can conclude that Willy and Ashes are NOT members of the Illuminati, but are in fact the work of the devil, Spragga himself.
-Deadly-, I am speaking directly to you now, my friend. You confirmed that the mods are working with satan... Well I have continued your thrilling work to show that the evilness is spreading among us... it has already affected the unfortunate souls of Willy and Ashes.

You're fooling no one, Ashes.




Why the objection, Willy?



Forumers, I have preached to you my research, so that you will not succumb to the evils of spragga (aka the devil... aka Satan). It's a dangerous place out there. Be sure to pot up and keep some mithril in your back pockets... Good luck!

~Reproduction

 

There you go.

 

Spragga has taught you wisely, I see.
He's growing stronger by the day... I can feel his power strengthening.

#HarryPotterPlotBasis

 

The other famous quote goes...