Okay so I was in grand central station, and I was half asleep waiting for my train to go to my friends house in NJ and this pregnant women asked if I could give her some money because her ticket was like 60 dollars and she only had 50 or so and that she needed to get home, so half asleep I have her $20 and said keep it, trying to be a big baller and nice guy. After I have her the money she asked me if I knew where she could buy the ticket and that's when I said "this ******* *****" how can she know how much the ticket is and that she can't pay with her card because they can't bill he for what ever yet she doesn't even know where to get the ******* ticket...so later on I realized I probably got scammed by some pregnant crackhead.
Took a trip to a foreign country and ended up getting a taxi to the wrong place due to me not being able to say the place properly. Naturally my cellphone wouldn't work in this country so I had to resort to pay phones. Only the place I accidentally got a taxi to had the handset torn off so I ended up walking around for a hour or two until I found a pub/bar/club and said screw it I'm having a beer. Turns out it was a random place my girl used to work at and somehow one of her friends found me and drove me across the city to her, but only after I was berated for well over a hour about how people from my country couldn't drink their beer by some old retired daytime drinkers. Needless to say I drained those beers despite my suspicion that they purposefully gave me the worst tasting one they had. Lesson is, always know how to say where you need to go in foreign countries when using a taxi.
I once was rushed to the hospital because my girlfriend bought a fake positive pregnancy test and I got a heart attack. Good times
Once I bought my daughter new jeans at the time she was 5. We went Ice skating had fun came home I took her jeans off and freaked out! Both her legs were black and blue I rushed her to the ER only to be told the ink rubbed off on her legs as it got wet and simple rubbing alcohol would remove it. Omg I felt dumb! Worse part was my dad's a doc mom a nurse at that ER so they are still teased 4 yrs later. Smh
Today at the Thanksgiving table I asked my wife's cousin where her husband was and got a kick in the shin from my wife. The whole room went silent as the cousin quietly said "He died last month." Uhhhhhh thanks for telling me about THAT one ahead of time people ... I ate my dessert early ... big fat slice of humble pie. (Like the OP, I get a lot of my news from KAW ... no one posted in forums about the cousin's spouse so I didn't know)
I was once with a girl who had a third nipple, just under her right breast. It wasn't a who breast, mind you, just a nipple. Funny thing was she liked having it touched. I however felt like I was doing something hentai or the like. Ever seen anything like that? I hear harry styles has 4 nipples.
I was once out with some friends and we were drinking down by a creak, we found this rock with a nice looking hole in it. I was paid $5 from everyone there to put my junk in it for a whole 5 minute. Woke up the next morning naked at a friend's place hungover. Went to the bathroom to piss and notices that there's blood on me. Realized that I've nicked my junk on a rock for $40. No ragrets. *There's still a scar on my dick*
Once I was Chillen at home and my phone rang, but I had to piss, so I decided I would get the phone and piss in a cup. So I stalking and it had overflow and the guy on the line said "Mate something sounds like it's dripping in your house" so I said "nah it's nothing mate" then I accidentally dropped the cup and he asked what happened and i told him and he cracked up laughing and hung up. Then I got a call 2 hours later and they recorded the convo and sent it back. Smh
I was in the car with my mom the other day. As we were backing out of the parking lot we bumped over something. My mom hit the brakes, as she looked at me a bum with raggedy old hair with clothes smelling through the window. She rolled down the window and asked him what she could do for him. He replied," Yuh just ran over meh. Cud I haz me sum fy (five) dollahs to buy meh a sandwich?" My mom handed him money and we sped out o the parking lot. We have not returned to Fairway ever since.
Complaining about KaW dating as my first forum post, 10 pages later, I realized how stupid I sounded in the thread.