The Elf

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Secret-Blade, Jun 26, 2014.

  1. Wanted to throw out a tester and see if you enjoy this story. Leave feedback and as I get more support, I'll continue putting out more of the story!

    Chapter 1: The Forest Boar

    The morning dew laid upon the grass, caressing the feet of elves as they went about their morning tasks. The early morning light filtered through the trees, creating a magical and lazy atmosphere about the forest. Today was Altier, third day of the week. The young elf gazing through the trees with vigilant green eyes was not aware of the fact in that moment. His sharp eyes were intent upon his prey, a boar that had been terrorizing his father's farm animals.

    He slowly pulled out his bow and nocked and arrow, taking care to not hit his swords in an X pattern across his back, having brought them in case things went too close range for the bow. In the elf's mind's eye, he pictured the arrow as it sailed through the air into the boar's heart. He then took a deep breath, and as he exhaled, he let the arrow fly. It was an excellent shot, one befitting of a master. It struck the boar as it tried to run, and the boar fell to the ground, arrow buried in it's heart. The young green-eyed elf dropped from the trees silently, pointy ears aware of all the sounds around him.

    The elf walked to the boar and calmly slid the arrow back into the quiver after wiping the blood on the ground next to him. Then, with remarkable strength, he hauled the boar up onto his shoulder, carefully avoiding the pommel of his sword. He started the long walk back to his village, silently proud of his kill.

    End of Chapter 1

    Leave feedback and as I receive, so you shall be given! Goodbye! -Secret
     
  2. Intriguing, elf mind..
     
  3. Good start, very descriptive.

    However, make sure your adjectives stay with a focus. At a point, you said "his pointy ears were aware of everything" and yet you were not talking about sounds previously, nor did you elaborate further.

    It happened a couple of times, just avoid to dip into a mindless ramble!

    Can't wait for the next passage :D
     
  4. Chapter 2: The Village

    As the forest light faded from gold to purple, the elf climbed up a tree, as graceful as a squirrel. He walked onto the largest leaf and leaped up to the nearest house, which blended in with the surrounding trees. He smiled as he knocked on the door with the hand not holding the boar. A curious young face peaked out from behind the door, then it lit up as she recognized the elf. "Alexon! You're home," as she rushed out he door and hugged his knees, as she was just a little elven girl. Her eyes widened even further as he proudly displayed the boar. "Tree and Star, Alexon! He's huge! Bring him inside," she said as she moved out of the door.


    Alexon nudged past her, slinging the boar back over his shoulder. He walked into the cozy home, his dad sitting in a wooden chair, rocking back and forth. His mother was at work in the kitchen, smiling as she scrubbed dishes. "Hello," said Alexon, as he laid the boar on the table and unbuckled his sheath and laid the sword and bow down also. "Alexon! You were gone a long time this hunt," she said as she hugged him tightly. He hugged her back just as tight, and smiled. "This time, I reaped rewards." His father had walked in, smiling proudly as he saw the boar upon the table. "You got him this time, son," as he also hugged Alexon. "Sure did, and he wasn't too hard considering the amount of trouble he's caused," said Alexon as he hugged his father back then walked towards the stairs and started up them. "For now, I need sleep." He opened his door, smelling the pine. He walked over to his bed and fell into the elven waking sleep, aware of everything and nothing.

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    Hope that you all liked the chapter! I intend to release more soon as the feedback comes in!
    -Secret
     
  5. Hey you here?
     
  6. I can't glitch anything but overall LB... As soon as it reloads, it goes back to overall.. sorry
     
  7. Bro can you get me #10k on the battle lb?
     
  8. Please bud thanks 
     
  9. it's somewhere around 150k or more I bet
     
  10. Ok it's fine and what do you mean 150k ^
     
  11. [url=http://forum.kingdomsatwar.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile
     
  12. [URL=http://forum.kingdomsatwar.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile
     
  13. Please respect the thread and not chat here.
     
  14. Shoot  aj found us